Scientific study show that male domestic violence victims are more likely to be arrested, jailed, and not have the charges dropped than the person beating them

MentORPHEUS · 2017-02-15T20:06:43+00:00

The institutionalized "Blame the man" DV response is a result of The Duluth Model being widely adopted by police and state legislators. It was based on flawed Feminist theory, positing that DV is always caused by men attempting to control women because of Patriarchy, and presumes that any violence by females is self-defense. The good news is that this model is being slowly upgraded and replaced.

I've had two relationships where the woman turned violent. Both times, they assumed they had an ironclad pussy pass and that would prevent me from even calling the police. Both times I used the legal system and prevailed, obtaining a 3-year protective order, criminal charges and probation for them, and in the latest case, monetary damages that she must pay or go to jail.

Planning a long article on Duluth and one on my DV experiences. Basically, maintain frame and don't be provoked into attacking her. Be sober, calm, rational, and obey the law and all procedures and processes to the letter. Collect evidence and witnesses. Lots of men have bad experiences with the police and courts; I'm here to tell you it's not hopeless and a man can prevail.

MattyAnon · 2017-02-15T18:55:29+00:00

Women require themselves to be the victim in order to absolve themselves of responsibility, get special treatment, absolve themselves of their inability to be the equal of men and continue to oppress men without anybody noticing.

Facts are not going to be allowed to stand in the way of this, and will immediately be opposed with "but it's men's fault anyway". It's great that we have an objective study (and thanks for sharing, OP), but it won't change anybody's mind.

The current legal system is enabling female violence against men, because men know the second they fight back (or even if they don't), they're going to jail. Women almost never get convicted and are even less likely to go to jail - even for committing exactly the same crimes as men (well researched fact - look it up if you doubt it).

Twice I personally been physically attacked by women, and both times they have also threatened to call the police. (Don't worry loyal TRPers - mattyanon came out of both situations much better than they did - once because the incident was on camera).

Women know they have the backing of the white knight police force and government against men they wish to attack.

Get everything on film. It won't help get a conviction against her, but it might help to prevent yours.

Launtoc · 2017-02-15T20:48:52+00:00

counselor here. many feminists cant grasp that to most men hitting a woman, even in self defense is absolutely inexcusable. i have had male clients tell me stories of not only physical abuse but extreme emotional abuse that went on for nearly a decade. there was almost always two things in common preventing men from getting help.

first, that as the man they felt like it was their cross to bear the abuse.

second, that they felt like no one would believe them even if they did say something or they would be shamed.

yet another study demonstrating the double standards and negative attitudes toward men in our society.

Screenp2 · 2017-02-15T20:49:01+00:00

Just reading the first story in the archive link flashed back to a time when I lived in Florida. I watched my friend get raged on by a chick in the same condition who was refused entry to a party. Her rings cut the fuck outa him. I then got to watch the cops show up, handcuff him with not so much as listening to me and other witnesses that she was the one who assualted him and haul him away.. was a total mess.

KnowBrainer · 2017-02-15T20:27:24+00:00

Here's the salient chart from the study.

'Partner' = Woman

'Helpseeker' = Man

Even though I'm familiar with this topic it's still crazy to see in black and white that the men being abused are more likely to have charges against them than the women hitting them.

wanderer779 · 2017-02-16T03:25:39+00:00

This kind of thing is pretty common on reddit. I've blocked a good portion of default and highly trafficked subs. This is actually just a small part of a big problem on the internet. For exampe conservative voices are often banned on twitter. Facebook was pushing liberal views through their news (IMO the problem is still there). I believe google has been doing some censoring as well. Nothing is worse than reddit though.

For most of my life the right has been kind of like the old British army, sill marching straight ahead in a line wearing bright red coats while their enemy has switched to more effective tactics. Not sure what the way forward is.

HeinousFu_kery · 2017-02-16T01:50:50+00:00

I broached this with my stepson who works with a very large metropolitan PD and his response was "Hell yes...if it keeps them out of the cold and snow, and doing paperwork in a nice warm office for overtime, you bet they will."

Don't forget that they may not be wrapped up in lofty sexism or grinding bigotry, just working guys who don't give a shit and are tired of being out on the street in the snow.

CuckedByTRUMP · 2017-02-16T03:56:09+00:00

That's because abusive people also are the ones more likely to involve the police. They don't just want to hurt you they want to destroy you.

squash1324 · 2017-02-16T14:51:11+00:00

I read the entire study, and that is because early in the paper I identified with a lot. My ex-wife did physical and psychological abuse against me. This only started happening after we were married and had 1 kid, and at the beginning I honestly thought I deserved some of the things happening to me (slapped, kicked, hit with a pan). I started talking to my family/friends about it, and they told me that I'm a man and I should be able to take it. Men are supposed to be strong, right?

The abuse started happening to my son, and that's when I started to do things about it. I called Child Protective Services, and they claimed that I was the one doing it and I was kicked out of my home. I lived with my mom, and she was beside herself because she knew I could never do that to my son. CPS eventually allowed me to go back home, and the abuse had stopped for a time. We had our second son, and the abuse started up again. I figured I should handle it on my own (since CPS wasn't helpful, and I'm supposed to be able to protect my children, right?) and so I started physically blocking her from the boys so that I was the one taking it and not them. This was when my oldest was 2 and my younger son was only 5 months old. The abuse became worse because I was blocking her from her intended target, and she began clawing me with her long nails, punching, and kicking me. She broke one of my fingers, I still have scars on my back, and a few scars on my face. The black eyes and bruises all healed just fine.

The last day my ex-wife and I were together I couldn't take it anymore and called the police. She attacked me with a knife, and I was able to keep her from hitting anything important. I'm not trained in self defense, and so she got in a lot of superficial cuts and 1 pretty deep one in my leg. When the police arrived, she was crying and put on a show. She said I attacked her and she was defending herself with the knife. The police wouldn't listen to me at all, even though I was the one that called them, and I was arrested. I was taken to the hospital in handcuffs, and my mother met me there. I told her that I was afraid for the kids, and what she could do to them. The police had my kids with my ex-wife at the police station, and I begged my mother to leave me and protect my kids. She went to the station, and told the police about everything I've told her over the previous two years. The police still didn't believe my mother, and said she was simply trying to cover for my misdeeds.

My ex-wife filed for divorce, and I look back at it and I'm thankful she did. If she didn't I probably would have stayed in that awful relationship. The court granted her full custody of the kids, and I'd only have supervised visits for one hour a week at the CPS office. After a few months of this, CPS grew suspicious because the kids were showing up with bruises that weren't consistent with falling or playing. When my younger son (just turned 1 at the time) showed up to one visit with two black eyes, they finally took action against my ex-wife. They petitioned the court to remove my ex-wife's custody temporarily and put the children in foster care. They thought both of us were abusing the kids, and my boys lived in foster care for 3 months. My lawyer was finally able to convince the judge that I wasn't a danger to my children, and he let them come home to me. My ex-wife's lawyer a month later was able to convince the judge that she didn't do anything wrong either, and we had 50/50 custody of the boys. A month after that my daughter was born (I had no idea my ex-wife was pregnant, as I didn't see her for 8 months after our last day together), and the same 50/50 custody was applied.

I'll fast forward a bit, and tell you that it took 13 CPS cases (opened and closed) for a judge to see that my ex-wife was abusive. She was ordered to undergo a mental health examination, and she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It made perfect sense to me when I learned what that was.

We finalized our divorce 9 years ago, and I got sole custody of my kids 4 years ago. It took 6 entire years for the system to believe me fully, and to condemn my ex-wife. The system is seriously flawed, and I've had to put my children thru therapy for years in order to reverse the things my ex-wife did to them at their most vulnerable. Of course during the time when she was still abusing the kids I had to pay for child support, and now that I have sole custody she still doesn't pay for child support or any portion of their therapy bills that they need due to what she did to them.

I've tried everything I can do legally, and it took thousands of dollars to finally overcome the bias against men. My children endured years of abuse, and they still are struggling to be "normal" kids. My ex-wife only lost custody of the kids. She never went to jail, she's never paid a dime of support, and she's now free to basically do whatever the hell she wants.

AFPJ · 2017-02-15T20:11:24+00:00

I'd hope this isn't surprising in a country where, from a legal standpoint, you're often better off killing than maiming.

TedTheAtheist · 2017-02-16T00:24:43+00:00

Can I just re-post the study in TIL? Will they just delete it again? Did they respond as to why they deleted it?

JustinDX · 2017-02-16T05:15:08+00:00

I can't read anything about this shit anymore. It angers me more than any cheating ex ever could. Makes me want to go on a psycho rampage just cos i hear "we only help women"... and getting accused to being the one who is actually violent.

This world needs to change.

2 years and I'll be at a point to start my youtube channel.

Wait for it, there need to be a bigger movement than just TRP.. enough of this bullshit women on a societal pedestal shit.

P.s. i found a facebook page where DV women talk about all the crazy bad shit they do to their male partners and actually get away with. The posts were horrific and these bitches are saying HAHA in each post more than that guy from the simpsons.

I can't get married, atleast not to any dumb pathetic entitled bitch that Sydney has to offer.

adoption

PatrickIIDX · 2017-02-16T15:46:43+00:00

Since there are no battered men's shelters, I know this will very likely get Trump to lose the 2nd term, but if there is federal funding to any domestic violence programs to women, they should be cut off. Imagine if the government actually cut women off. But they won't because most people in government are white knight men and feminists.

EricDaGreat · 2017-02-16T21:12:07+00:00

Had too many friends, family members, and colleagues get burned by playing with fire. You have to know that a DV accusation is #1 in her arsenal if she feels spurned by you. If you find yourself in a bad situation, be the FIRST ONE TO CALL THE COPS and hold frame. Often, the first one to report is presumed to be in the right, as long as you don't bitch out and lose frame.

tolerantman · 2017-02-22T16:23:15+00:00

Always remember, that for every cunt sending an innocent man to jail, there is a bastard cop and a bastard judge to do the injustice.

dudet23 · 2017-02-16T03:59:23+00:00

Any males that experience domestic violence are so weak and pathetic that I have no sympathy for them.

Woujo · 2017-02-15T21:14:33+00:00

Ok, then don't put yourself in that situation. If you ever feel like the girl you're with might be crazy, dump her. If she starts getting aggressive or violent, leave and go to a public place.

It's not hard. Stop whining and being a victim.

jagsfan4life · 2017-02-15T21:40:43+00:00

well maybe you should stop beating women and then the cops wont be coming after you. cant be mad about the crimes you wont stop commiting!