Even though I have been running game on women for many years (it’s almost a second career for me) I still encounter the same stumbing blocks I did when I first started on my journey to mastering the art of seduction. I have made a list of the obstacles that I believe will plague any man’s game for life. The goal isn’t to eliminate these obstacles, (which cannot be done anyhow for you may as well argue that the urge to eat can be eliminated), but to manage them so that they do not hinder your game to the point of denying you success.
The Approach
Don’t listen to any PUA guru who tells you that fear of approach can be killed. It can’t. I still get it from time to time, and in varying degrees of anxiety, despite having approached hundreds, maybe thousands, of women over the whole of my life, for purposes sexual and otherwise. The fear of approaching women cold to initiate a courtship is hardwired in men, and for good reason, as a failed cold approach in the ancestral environment could have easily led to banishment from the tribe, and early death. Worse still, it could have led to incessant mockery from peers. The best way to handle approach anxiety is a paraphrase of a quote from Dune:
I must not fear approaching women. Approach anxiety is the mind-killer. It is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my approach anxiety. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my approach anxiety is at its highest, I will smile and accept my fear, and only I will remain.
Qualifying Her
I’ve seen more guys forget to qualify a girl than mess up any other part of the seduction. I can only surmise that it is anti-instinctual for a man to judge women, but instinctual for him to put himself up for judgment by women. Again, qualifying women is one of those things that goes against the circuitry of beta hardwiring. The failure to qualify cannot be eliminated — you will occasionally fail to screen your target — but it can be managed. You have to make a conscious effort to remind yourself to judge the girl you are talking with. That means saying to yourself “OK, how can this girl please me? What does she bring to the table?” before approaching her. It also means having a ready list of qualification questions to ask as part of your game, such as “Could you make me laugh? So many women think they’re funny when they aren’t.”
Isolating Her
This is another stage of game that I notice men tend to forget to do. My guess is that once a man has successfully opened a girl and is enjoying full-throttled conversation with her, he gets so wrapped up in his early forward progress that he is afraid to break the rhythm by moving the girl to an isolated location for deeper rapport. But he must do this, because deep rapport in a relatively quiet spot away from the location of the initial meet is vital to avoid later flaking. So be a leader and drag her to a new location, and if she balks then you know that your sparkling conversation with her wasn’t as sparkling as you thought it was.
Being an Asshole/Negging Her
As much as the neg is talked about as a critical component of game, you’d think it would be second nature to most aspiring PUAs. But it isn’t. There are some guys I’ve seen in the field, who despite encyclopedic knowledge of game, never remember to throw out that all-important value-lowering neg on girls who need them (i.e. hot chicks). If you can’t think on your feet, then have a couple all-purpose negs stored in your brain. I know you can do it, because you have CPU specs committed to memory, so it can’t be a stretch to remember a neg or two. Try this: “Hey you’ve got a cool sense of style… especially that 1960s retro haircut, like my Mom’s.” Or one of my all-time personal favorites: “You’re trying too hard.”
Hovering
Seductions will fail, face it. When they do, don’t hover hoping for her to have a change of heart. I still don’t know why so many men display this horribly low value behavior, but they do. Perhaps it’s a cognitive mechanism of self-delusion that spares a man’s ego from acknowledging the rejection.
Taking the Girl Home
No matter how expertly he ran his attraction and comfort game, it will all be for naught if he can’t transition to the bedroom, and sooner rather than later. This is another game foul that I observe men making in the field; they have won the girl’s attraction, got her hooked with his stories and listening ability, done everything right… and then forget or refuse to boldly move her to his pad. I know the thinking process: “Well, look, I’ve got her where I want her, so it’s just a matter of time before she’s in my bed. So it makes no sense to risk it all by pushing too hard for the fuck close right now.” This thinking is self-limiting, and often counterproductive. Getting a girl horny where she might be up for a same night lay, and then disappointing her by letting the seduction fizzle to a wimpy denouement, will cause her to reassess her positive first impressions the next day. So have an excuse handy, such as “Hey I’m thirsty. Let’s go back to my place for some delicious tap water.”
Maxim #44: Women will not hold it against you for trying to get into their panties on the first night. In fact, they will respect you more for your boldness and willingness to follow your manly desires.
