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The 5 Skills You Must Master For Real-Life Dating

BlackDragon
May 13, 2019

This is the next installment in the â5-7 Skillsâ series. In every area of life, there are usually 5-7 key skills you must master to be successful at it. Iâve already covered the skills you need for online dating here and the skills you need for nonmonogamous relationships here. Today Iâm going to cover real-life dating skills, when you are face-to-face with a woman. There are five skills you must get good at in order to make this work in your life.

This gets a little complicated since âreal life datingâ can mean many different things. It can mean everything from daygame, to night game, to going out on a fourth beta male dinner date, to trying to game some woman in your social circle.

So to make this more clear, in this article, when I say âreal-life datingâ I mean when you are face-to-face with a woman youâre trying to have sex with, in real life, but youâre not at a dance club, bar, or other night game location in the evening and she has not been drinking any alcohol.

This is because I have zero night game experience so I canât give advice regarding it. Iâm sure some of these things may help you with night game, but again, I have no experience with that so I have no idea.

Therefore, these five skills apply to daygame, social circle game, and the one or two real-life dates necessary for proper online dating (both types of sugar daddy game included).

As always, the five skills are not listed in any particular order since theyâre all critical. If youâre at least âdecentâ at all of them, you will get laid, and with attractive women. If you are bad at even one or two of them, you might get laid, but it will be difficult and youâll have to work much harder. If youâre bad at more than two of them, youâre probably not going to get laid at all unless you either pay for it (or perhaps settle for average or below-average women).

1. Temporarily Faking Confidence and Outcome Independence Until You Have Them For Real

âInner gameâ really means confidence and outcome independence, two things I talk about a great deal in my books.

Confidence means you are self-assured in your abilities to accomplish the things you want in life. You know youâre not perfect, but you know you have the skills necessary to get what you want, and arenât super worried about it.

Outcome independence means you donât give a shit about how any particular scenario (first date, particular woman, etc) ends up. If it works out, great. If it fails and you never see her again, you honestly arenât bothered at all and are on the next woman on the list. And she can tell you donât care. (Youâre polite and pleasant, but you donât give a shit.)

Confidence and OI are the two most attractive non-physical qualities to women you can possibly have.

Confidence and OI are not skills. They are qualities. However, if you donât have both of them yet, the skill you must learn is how to fake it until you make it. If youâre not confident or outcome independent yet, you need to at least pretend you are while you interact with her. If you act nervous (meaning not confident) or needy (meaning not outcome independent), then her attraction will drop. So you have to at least learn how to pretend until such time as these two things become natural for you.

I talk about confidence and outcome independence in great detail in The Unchained Man and Get To Sex Fast.

2. Optimizing Physical Appearance

This is an obvious one and the one everyone likes to focus on. Itâs not the be-all, end-all that a lot of angry guys think it is, but itâs still core and important.

Being good at dating, seduction, whatever you want to call it, requires that you optimize your external appearance as much as humanly possible within the constraints of your genetics, race, age, and budget.

That means for your genetics, race, age, and budget, you are on the higher end of attractiveness. Taking myself as an example, Iâm a 47 year-old American man. Iâm not good-looking, Iâm not ripped or anything, but compared to the typical 47 year-old American guy, Iâm easily in the top 10-15% within that demographic in terms of physical attractiveness. I look decent, my skin is great, my teeth are great, I have a full head of hair, my body language is confident, my movements are fluid and high-energy, I dress well, and so on. This is because Iâve spent the time (and in some cases, money) to optimize my physical appearance as best I can for a 47 year-old guy with my genetics.

Failure to do this doesnât (necessarily) mean you canât get laid, or even canât get laid with attractive women, but it does mean that youâll have to work much harder, and put in much more time, work, and numbers to get the results you want.

Optimizing your physical appearance must be done. Moreover, doing so offers numerous other benefits to you that have nothing to do with women (as I talked about here), such as better health, higher quality of life, higher self-esteem, and higher income.

3. Mastering The Correct Sequence

Getting to sex as fast as possible requires you to do certain things, at certain times, in a certain order. You donât kino a girl within the first 10 seconds, you donât try to have sex with her within the first five minutes, you donât discuss the relationship on the first date, and so on.

You must know what these things are and when they need to be done.

If you:

  • Donât know what these things are.
  • Know what these things are, but donât exactly know how to do them.
  • Know what they are, but donât exactly know when they should be done in the process.
  • Know what they are and when they need to be done, but often forget because you get too excited or comfortable.

â¦then you wonât be very effective. You need to know what these things are, how to do them, when they need to be done, and you actually need to do them near 100% of the time.

Fortunately, this is probably the easiest skill to learn of all the ones listed here. You just get a good book that teaches you these things (Get To Sex Fast is mine; highly recommend it) then go on a bunch of first dates (or similar interactions) and practice the sequence until you get it down.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Caleb Jones.

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Post Information
Title The 5 Skills You Must Master For Real-Life Dating
Author BlackDragon
Date May 13, 2019 12:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Blog Caleb Jones
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Caleb-Jones/the-5-skills-you-must-master-for-real-life-dating.22826
https://theredarchive.com/blog/22826
Original Link https://blackdragonblog.com/2019/05/13/the-5-skills-you-must-master-for-real-life-dating/
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