This is the next installment of the book I never published regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you havenât yet, you should read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, and 14 before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, journals, and spreadsheet records, though all the names of the people described have been changed.
We last left off about ten years ago, in early 2009, just coming off of (what was then) one of my most successful monthsâ¦
March 2009
Now that I had achieved my goal of maintaining multiple, ongoing, nonmonogamous relationships with several women (Emma, Darci, and a smattering of others), I dialed back slightly on the new dating activity. I didnât stop it completely because I wasnât exactly where I wanted to be, and I had learned from prior lessons that shutting off the dating machine is very dangerous unless youâve already built up some kind of roster of returning women, and I had not done this yet.
Regardless, knowing that I could now bring in new women whenever I wanted with minimal problems, my focus started to shift from dating/seduction/pickup to relationship management.
The first thing I did was to to mentally categorize the women I regularly slept with. This seemed to prevent a lot of problems, confusion, hurt feelings, and drama. When I treated all the women I dated exactly the same, I had nothing but chaos. But when I purposely operated under several relationship categories, all the problems smoothed out.
Using two of the terminology acronyms already used by the pick-up artists, I categorized women I was just having sex with as FBs, or friends with benefits. Women I actually liked beyond that were MLTRs, women I was actually dating.
I came up with a third category myself that I used to call âWDâ which was essentially a low-end MLTR or a new woman I didnât know how to categorize yet.
I also came up with a forth category that I called âCandidate,â meaning she was an MLTR âcandidateâ for something very serious down the road (but still nonmonogamous of course), which was something I desired at some point. (This hypothetical future serious relationship I would later call an OLTR, but I didnât have that term yet.)
Lesson Twenty-Five
Always categorize every woman youâre dating as an FB, MLTR, or OLTR and stay congruent to that category. One of the biggest things men do wrong, including experienced players, is that they treat all women they date the same. They treat all of them like fuck buddies or all of them like girlfriends. Either of these is guaranteed to cause serious problems in your woman life.
Once I had sex with a woman about two or three times, I would place her in either FB, WD, MLTR or Candidate categories. Darci was an FB. Emma was a WD who I later upgraded to MLTR. I hadnât found any women worthy of Candidate category yet, but that was about to change in a very big way. Rolling into April and later the summer of 2009, I would add on not one, not two, not three, four women I eventually considered Candidates, all of whom became extremely long, multi-year relationships for me. (None of these women made it all the way to OLTR though, although one of them got extremely close for a long time. But I’m getting ahead of myself.) These were in addition to all the other women I was dating and having sex with at the time.
Like I said, 2009 was perhaps my craziest year.
The first of these four Candidates started out as a very casual FB. I had no idea at the time how long-term she would end up becoming. Back then, I started using the old MySpace as a way to meet younger women. It was not quite as fast and effective as the real dating sites, but it worked. Unlike Facebook, the culture of MySpace back then was that women actually welcomed random, incoming messages from complete strangers. I was able to meet and have sex with several younger women using MySpace back then, though the process took a little more time. (I talk about how to do social media game in this book.)
