Thatâs it. Those are literally the only three reasons why a woman youâve never had sex with says no to sex with you. (This does not apply to when a woman youâve already had sex with says no to sex. Thatâs a very different scenario and it could be for a variety of other reasons, including boredom, anger, betaization, and so on. But thatâs a relationship management issue, not a dating/seduction issue. Today weâre only talking about having sex with a new woman.)
Reason #1 is usually your fault and reasons #2 and #3 are often outside of your control. You have some influence over them, but not nearly as much as #1.
Reason #2 is purely based on ASD. You can do your best to avoid it, mitigate it, and navigate around it, and Iâll discuss how to do that in a minute, but you need to realize that no matter how strong your game is, you can still be confounded by ASD.
I have had second dates where I failed to have sex despite my best efforts, where the women were saying how wet they were and how badly they wanted to have sex but âcouldnât.â Iâve had second dates where I tried to have sex, the women said no, then quickly ran home, masturbated while thinking about me, then texted me and told me all about it. Iâve had other second dates where the women said no, went home, then immediately sent me texts saying they âmade a mistakeâ and âshould have had sex with me.â
This kind of crap is (usually) pure ASD. You need to be prepared for it.
How to Mitigate ASD
As I said, you canât cure ASD and you canât always get around it no matter how good you are. But you can do some things to lessen its effect on you.
1. Put in the numbers. This should be obvious. The guy who goes out on ten first dates in a week is going to be far less hampered by ASD than the guy who goes out on two. If you are really cranking the numbers, and you should be, the one or two women who have high ASD wonât be nearly as bothersome to you.
The only time ASD really pissed me off is when I knew I didn’t have enough first and second dates already scheduled on the calendar.
2. Donât do anything that spikes ASD during first or second dates. Lots of guys have huge problems with this. Frankly, much pick-up/PUA advice actually exacerbates this as well. Men often blurt out highly sexual shit that actually spikes ASD (bad) instead of increasing sexual attraction and tension (good).
Talking about sex casually is good. Telling a girl you wonder what her boobs taste like will spike ASD.
Talking about what she likes in bed is good. Telling a girl you both should go back to your place after 20 minutes on the first date will spike ASD.
Telling a woman she has great energy is fine (but be careful). Telling a woman her best friend or sister is super hot will spike ASD.
Iâve coached hundreds of men on the topic of dating, and one of the biggest things men do wrong is that they say and do things on first/second dates that spike ASD. Donât do this. As always, she should be doing 80% of the talking on these dates anyway. One of the many reasons for this is to ensure that you donât say anything that inadvertently spikes ASD and ruins your chances.
3. Date as young as possible, ideally under the age 33. As I said above, ASD in women increases with age. 18 year-old girls have virtually zero ASD and will happily have sex with you very quickly as long as theyâre attracted enough to you. But that 41 year-old woman has vast mountains of ASD and will not have sex with you quickly even if sheâs extremely attracted to you, and is far more likely to put you into make-him-wait mode and make you jump through more hoops like a good little monkey in order to get to her Unique and Magical Pussyâ¢. (And yes, there are always odd exceptions to every rule.)
As Iâve talked about in the past, my results with women skyrocketed the instant I drew a line at age 33 (the Age of Doom, when ASD really spikes) and only started dating women below that age (with occasional exceptions).
Men who start dating younger are always shocked at how easy it is to get laid quickly when they do this, especially when they go below age 23, where ASD is the lowest.
4. Screen for lower-ASD women. To be clear, I do not do this (other than the age thing above). I personally think screening is usually a very stupid thing to do (I talk about why here). Yet, I have to admit that Iâve seen other guys get good at screening for low-ASD women and it can work very well. This canât really be done with online dating and is only done with daygame, night game, and social circle game.
I canât advise you on specifics regarding this, but it involves bantering and kino (touching) with women and getting a feel for their level of ASD, and perhaps even if theyâre DTF. If they arenât, you drop the conversation fast and move on to the next girl, and keep going until you find one thatâs ready to rock. Then you proceed on her.
If you can do those four things, ASD will be much less of an issue for you, but it will still be an issue, again, no matter what you do. Sadly, ASD is a fact of life. You can lessen it, but youâll never eliminate it.
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