I occasionally hear some of you complain that sometimes you feel bored, unmotivated, and too complacent to get off your ass and make things happen in your life to make you a happier and more successful man. I also hear from many guys that their sex drive is unusually low and that they barely desire to have sex at all, much less take the time and effort to bring in some new women into their lives.
Today Iâll give you the top six things you must do if you ever find yourself in this predicament. I will address both psychological and physiological causes. You do not want to remain in a state of unmotivation. That is extraordinarily dangerous to your long-term happiness as a man.
There is only one exception to this rule. That is if you, right now:
1. Make all the money you want, not only now, but for the very long-term.
and
2. Are having sex with all the women you want, as well as the type of women you really like.
and
3. Are at least reasonably physically fit.
If all three of those things apply to you, then you are welcome to feel as unmotivated and complacent as you like. While I have some personal opinions about that, I agree that once you reach a certain level in life, youâre allowed to take a break or move on to other areas.
If all three of those things donât apply to you, then itâs time to address the problem of why youâre not feeling motivated or horny.
To be clear, Iâm not talking about having an off day or a lazy day. Everyone has those from time to time, myself included. Sometimes you might even have an off week. Thatâs okay. Life is cyclical and no one can expect you to be in the zone all the frigginâ time.
I’m talking about a state of being that lingers for weeks or months (or god forbid, years). Thatâs unacceptable, unless you donât mind being unhappy (in which case, as always, you are free to ignore my advice and do whatever you want).
If youâre feeling unmotivated or low (or zero!) sex drive, hereâs what you need to do:
1. Get Some Blood Tests
This is at the top of the list for a reason. Itâs very likely one or more hormones are off in your body. Thereâs little point in addressing behavioral problems if youâre suffering from an internal hormonal issue. Hormonal problems with men (and women) are so god damn common these days that you must rule this out first before you proceed with any other techniques.
Here are the blood tests you need to take:
- Testosterone (free and total)
- Estrogen (estradiol)
- Vitamin D
- Thyroid (specifically T3; T4 and TSH are also common tests but not as important)
If any of these are too low (and/or in the case of T3 and Estrogen, too high), then that likely explains why youâre feeling so shiftless all the time.
At the SMIC Program, we talk about these measurements and the exact ranges they need to be in, but thatâs a big topic beyond the scope of this article. If youâre low (or too high) in any of these, work with your doctor and/or do some research on the internet to get these numbers into the proper ranges. I can tell you from personal experience you will not believe how much better you feel when all four of those things are in ideal, optimal ranges for a man.
You can get these tests ordered through your doctor, or get them and pay for them yourself. Sometimes insurance covers the costs of these tests, sometimes it does not (check). Very worst case scenario, youâll pay about $300 at most. If thatâs the case and you have no other option, shut up and pay it. It will be the best money youâve ever spent, trust me. One of the reasons Iâm such a happy little fucker is that I check these levels regularly and I always make sure theyâre at optimal levels for a man.
If you live in the USA and want to get the tests done yourself, here are three websites I know of that do them:
- Lef.org
- PrivateMDLabs.com
- DirectLabs.com
If you live outside the USA, just Google around or talk to your doctor.
One extra note about this: If you were not raised with a father in the home, you likely suffer from low testosterone. Get it checked!