For a while, I’ve been throwing around ideas in my head for writing a post about red flags, and various other things men should look out for in women. However, as I was doing my research on the topic, throughout various manosphere sites, I found that it had been a fairly frequently covered topic. From red flags [3,4], to various takes on the characteristics of female psychopaths [1], borderlines [2], histrionics, bi-polar and quite a few other mental illnesses, it has been covered. So, rather than repeating much of what has previously been written, I decided to research the methodologies of these women on a more abstract basis. More specifically, the means to the desired end.
There is no shortage of stories floating around the internet about abusive females, cluster-B females, female sociopaths and various other forms in which these women appear. However, their madness has some method to it, in that many of them engage in similar tactics. From my other article on this topic, where I evaluated how likely you are to bang crazy, the odds of doing so are quite high, as 21.8% of American women can be diagnosed with mental illness within a 12 month period. However, given that that is only those who could be diagnosed, the probability are that the number of women with severely problematic traits is much higher.
A common theme throughout the stories that were part of the research, was certain patterns that seem eerily similar, yet without the requisite knowledge does not make sense. Everything from being highly unpredictable, rapid mood swings, constant goal post switching, virtually changing personalities, and contradictory behaviors. However, when viewed from the perspective of combined red pill and influence, they make perfect sense.
AWALT on Steroids
The cardinal piece of knowledge about these women is that every single trait covered by AWALT is super-charged in them. In the same way that autism is often said to be an extreme version of the male brain, women that fall under this category have an extreme form of the female brain. For this reason, their behavior is often excused both by society and in interpersonal relationships, as “That’s just how women are“. The difference here is in degrees, rather than a pure black and white distinction. All women seek to optimize hypergamy, by having back-ups and orbiters, these women are the type to have mass amounts of them, including running multiple concurrent affairs or similar.
All women are solipsistic, but these women take it to the extreme level, by rejecting anything except their own perception of the world. In this regard, these women view their subjective perception of reality as actual reality, furthermore they expect everyone to act in accordance with and validate their perception of reality.
All women are prone to validating, viewing and valuing their subjective responses to stimuli more than objective facts and realities, however, these are the women who throw tantrums about how you behaved in a dream they had, or who even when faced with stone cold facts insist that their view is the correct one.
All women like drama and attention, however these women will manufacture drama and draw attention as if they were oxygen. A great indicator that you are in fact dealing with a woman of this nature is whether she is constantly embroiled in some form of dramatic conflict.
The Mask
These women utilize a variety of masks that tend to follow the categories outlined in the female sexual strategies, however they are much more intense than a normal woman would be. The normal woman exists as a separate entity from her sexual strategy, whereas this type of woman becomes her sexual strategy. Frequently, such women are gifted actresses and readers of people, thus, will adopt a mask adapted to her target. Her goal here is to attract the male’s attention through appearing as his soulmate. However, do not think that these women only target men deep in the blue pill world of soulmates and happily ever after, red pill men may be just as prone to falling for a unicorn.
Their masks can take a variety of forms, within the sexual strategies. There are woman who work of sympathy and empathy, by painting themselves as the victim of circumstances and the evils of humanity. There are those who paint themselves as survivors and self-reliant, and those who paint themselves as “too good for this world” as the caretakers of all around them.
The key to the mask is information gathering, where she elicits information from the man in a constant feedback system that allows her to slowly perfect her performance to him. The chance meeting outside that coffee shop he visits four days a week, was perhaps not a chance meeting and she may have been stalking him for weeks after identifying him as a target. Their lives revolve around their performances and their games, of which, the mask the center point. Therefore it is also likely the one thing in their life to which they dedicate themselves.
However, their mask will always drop off at one point or another, it differs from woman to woman. This is no different than in a normal relationship wherein both parties slowly reveal more and more of themselves to their partner. However, in this case every facet of the woman’s personality was created and executed as a performance in order to bring the relationship to the state she desired, once she achieves this state, there is little incentive for her to struggle to keep the mask. In my research I came across men who had lived with women for relatively long periods of time, even decades, before the mask came off, in other cases it could be as little as a few weeks or months.
The Love Bomb
Most relationships with a woman of this nature starts with a love-bomb designed to blast through all defenses. These women are often beautiful and charming and most men feel extremely flattered when she starts showering them with attention. For many it replicates the experiences they had of first romances. Love bombing has the effect of driving up the pleasure centers in your brain causing releases of serotonin, dopamine and other pleasure chemicals. [5] This creates a rapid bond, and an addiction to have her around. A chief characteristic of these women is that they seek to establish the relationship very quickly, often moving in together, getting pregnant or married within days, weeks or months of meeting.
One of the reasons they move fast, is that they are unable to maintain their mask for long, and most men will see it slip a time or two prior to being trapped. However, they are likely to write this off as “she was having a bad day“. Another reason is that their life frequently is like that of a fraudster, in that they often need a way out of a bind they have created for themselves. They are prone to bounce from scam to scam, relationship to relationship experiencing little stability in their lives.
The longer the courtship phase lasts, the longer she will have to keep up the mask and effort to make the man believe in her theatrics, this is very draining for her and thus, over time the mask will slip more and more.
Think of the cheetah and its prey, the prey of a cheetah can and will outrun it over longer distances, however the cheetah hunts using its advantage of higher acceleration and speed. Their mode of operation is to quickly seize their prey, and then maintain a situation where that prey is in a vulnerable position. While the man is in this state, the women are likely to engage in extensive future faking, enticing the man into making many promises in exchange for the woman making promises as well. The goal of love-bombing is to rapidly build bonds and investments that ensures that the man will remain even when her mask starts to slip. The major mechanisms tend to be a combination of psychological bonds and legal barriers. For instance, trauma bonding and making her pregnant.
FOG
I wrote about the acronym FOG before, and it is short for “fear, obligation and guilt“, which are the three favored tactics utilized by these women. They are three of the most powerful buttons within the human soft-robot, which is why many writers of books on influence utilize them as core tools. Each example of a woman has a differing preference for which one to utilize at a given time, but they all use the full arsenal of tools. The love-bomb sets the man up for fear of loss, and continued time expenditure on this women creates a sunk cost situation, which magnifies this fear of loss. In essence, the man after the love bomb develops an addiction to the rush of pleasure chemicals marinating his brain. He will spend the great majority seeking a return to that state, which will never come.
Fear is a very valued tool for influence, as evidenced by how often it is used in political campaigns, or propaganda targeted at a population. Fear is the cardinal principle of the woman’s tactic, and her main tool for forcing compliance. Fear off losing her, fear of losing the perception he has of her, shared dreams (future faking), fear of financial loss, fear of losing access to his children and fear of false allegations are frequent fear buttons that these women push.
What happens after the love bombing phase, is that the women has built up an arsenal of promises, and has lured the man into a mode of behavior characteristic of love-struck teenagers. While she has no intent to deliver on the promises she made during this phase, she is now able to utilize obligation as a mechanism, enforced by the man’s fear of losing her as a powerful manipulative tactic. For instance, if he promised to take her on a long vacation, she will utilize the promise he made, enforced by fear and guilt to get him to deliver regardless of whether the situation has changed.
Obligation often takes a similar form to utilizing consistency for influence. When utilizing obligation one is playing on a person’s tendency to be duty fulfilling, and the perception they have of themselves as being men who handle their duties. This is a powerful tool, as men are programmed by society to be dutiful and reliable, something which is deeply ingrained in their super-ego. An example from “Influence” by Robert Cialdini, is that by giving a small gift, people are influenced by buy more lottery tickets as a result of feeling obligated to “settle the score” from the gift. This plays into the mechanisms of reciprocity feelings of guilt for not “carrying your share of the burden”, or delivering on your word.
Finally, the effect of using guilt based ploys depend highly on the person they are utilized against. People tend to differ somewhat in how prone they are to feeling guilt, however it is a powerful tool to enforce compliance. As I wrote in an earlier post, guilt probably evolved as a mechanism to ensure the survival of the group, through influencing people to live up to their word and live according to certain standards. However, it is also a very powerful weapon against those who are prone to feel excessive amounts of guilt.
Confusion Tactics & Behaviorism
A key element, not covered extensively elsewhere is the range of confusion tactics that this type of woman will engage in to ensure that her victim remains compliant. A man in command of his faculties and himself, knows when his boundaries are being trampled on, when he has given up frame control, and when he is engaging in counter-productive behaviors. To keep the man from engaging his deductive logic and critical thinking, the woman seeks to keep him in a state where these are overridden.
From brain-washing techniques there are a few ways of doing so. Sleep deprivation, maintaining the man in an emotional state (for instance during love bombing), manufacturing short-term crises, a constant flow of drama, stress and slowly undermining his self-perception [6]. The goal of such a woman is to create a compliant robot that will do her bidding. It is very difficult to influence someone to the degree required for her control, therefore, the utilization of tactics to weaken her victim, takes place throughout the process. The love-bombing an initial phase is in many ways a case of her being able to calibrate how hard and fast she can push the target into compliance.
During the love bombing stage, the man is overwhelmed by constant high doses of pleasure chemicals from his brain, and in a highly emotional state. However, humans are not prone to questioning why good things they perceive as good are happening to them. As they feel as if they have met their unicorn, they also fear loss if they ask probing questions or engage their critical thinking. When during the love-bombing phase she flips and suddenly bombards them with negatively, it serves to both confuse, but also to test the man’s resistance to her influence.
When moving into the phase of fear, obligation and guilt, the love-bombing behaviors disappear, and the woman instead utilizes that behavior as a reward for compliance. When the man acts in accordance with her expectations and wishes, he is rewarded with the positive behaviors he fell for, when the man fails to act in accordance with her desires or acts in a neutral manner, he is rewarded with her true personality. Over time, the love bombing phases will become more and more rare, and only utilized by her to reel him back in if she senses that she is about to lose him. A typical example could be her denying him sex for a couple of months, and then sensing that he is about to stray or leave, leaping back into the crazy sex they had to begin with for a day or two.
What is taking place here is a form of operant conditioning and cognitive behavioral therapy, where the man is trained to respond in certain ways to stimuli. The three basic responses is negative, positive and neutral. Positive reinforcement ensures that a behavior will be repeated, by rewarding the target for engaging in desired behaviors. Negative reinforcement ensures that a behavior will be repeated, by removing negative stimuli when the target engages in desired behaviors. Punishers extinguish behaviors by punishing the target for engaging in undesired behaviors.
Furthermore, Skinner did research on schedules of reinforcement and found that the quickest modification of behavior takes place when the continuous enforcement takes place, meaning every time the behavior is repeated, it is reinforced.For instance, every time a man does something the female wants him to do, or not, the punishment or reward is swift. In this case, the variables were response rate, namely how hard the target worked on the behavior. For instance, how often the rat would press the lever that leads to the positive or negative reinforcement. In addition to the extinction rate, namely how quickly the rat would stop pressing the lever if the enforcement behavior did not occur.
Slower modification takes place with fixed ratio enforcement, where the target is enforced or reprimanded at set intervals, for instance every 5 times the target engages in the desired behavior. If the man does as she tells him 10 times in a row, he gets rewarded, or if he crosses her 10 times he gets a pot of hot water tossed over him while he sleeps. Fixed interval reinforcement leads to a happy medium between response and extinction of behaviors, and means that the target is reinforced after a specific time provided that one correct behavior has been observed.
Variable ratio reinforcement shows rather poor results due to unpredictability. Finally, variable interval reinforcement that has the worst results, due to also being unpredictable. The unpredictable reinforcement confuses the target, and thus does a poor job of extinguishing poor behaviors, however, it does a great job creating confusion in the target. Unable to discern what is desired and how to gain the results he wants, he is likely to flip through everything that has worked before.
These women will utilize a mixture of punishers, negative reinforcement and positive reinforcement depending on their personality, and how much time they have. Furthermore, they will often balance fixed and variable reinforcement ratios, and even alter the behaviors that are punished or reinforced over time due to their desire to keep their target confused. They may also do this to move the goalposts, meaning gradually altering behavior in the direction that they desire.
Summary and Conclusions
The mechanisms that the sub-set of women use are not very different from the ones utilized by normal women. For instance, it is not uncommon for women to transform their shared living quarters into a space that is more suitable for her, while relegating him to the basement or garage. Over time push him towards getting rid of his hockey jerseys in favor of more suitable apparel. Finally, to become “less of a frat boy“. In this sense, when a woman calls a man “husband material”, she means that she can over time mold him into a good husband. The required raw materials are there, so she can make the finished product.
In order to get her way, she will use some behavioral conditioning techniques, some influence techniques, however not to the extent or with the maliciousness of a women with the aforementioned issues. As with everything else regarding these women, their application and utilization of such techniques are on steroids. A normal woman may give you the silent treatment for a few hours, a crazy woman will give you the silent treatment for a month. A normal woman will yell at you, a crazy woman will deprive you of sleep for a few weeks. The positive and negative reinforcers, in addition to the punishments will be much more drastic with a crazy woman.
The major difference however, tends to be in the schedules of reinforcement. As a normal woman wants her husband or partner, to quickly adopt a certain set of behaviors, and discard another set of behaviors. She will tend towards continuous reinforcement or fixed ratio reinforcement. She may also view it as a long-term project, and thus utilize fixed interval reinforcement. Thus creating a predictable and effective system for changing her partners behavior over time.
The crazy woman while wanting the same thing as the normal woman, also wants to make more drastic changes faster, while also lowering the targets defenses. Thus, these women will often adopt variable ratio or variable interval reinforcement, combined with extreme reinforcements and punishers. When added on top of a potent cocktail of influence tactics, such as fear, obligation and guilt, combined with sunk cost, and unicorn thinking, the man can quickly become overwhelmed.
However, as the tactics used does not differ, this gives birth to the alibi of “all women are like this“, thus the man does not evaluate his situation correctly. To this type of woman the man is not clay to be formed, but a rat in a box.
A note:
I recently launched a Patreon page where I will be posting additional content every month for those who support me and I will do a Google Hangout for the highest tier Patrons (limited to 10 people).
I’ve also had some requests for consults, which I’ve declined up until now, but due to demand I’ve chosen to open up for doing some consults on request. For details please check out my Consulting and Patreon Page
As always you can buy my book Gendernomics at Amazon.com as both paperback and Kindle
More reading on the topic:
Dangerous personalities by Joe Navarro
The Mask of Sanity by Harvey Cleckley
Influence by Robert Cialdini
About Behaviorism by B.F. Skinner
[1] https://illimitablemen.com/2014/02/17/lucifers-daughter/
[2] https://therationalmale.com/2012/01/20/borderline-personality-disorder/
[3] http://www.returnofkings.com/58791/6-warning-signs-a-girl-isnt-worth-a-relationship
[4] https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-52028.html
[5] https://relationshipedia.me/2015/05/08/breaking-free-from-the-narcissist/
