Today’s post comes as a follow-up to a debate between Zippy and Deti in my post Market Watch. Given the amount of talking past each other, and the fact it was derailing that post, I decided a new one was appropriate. This post will let them, myself and others answer the questions that were raised. At least, that is my hope.
I will begin by quoting a question that Zippy was trying to address:
What I am interested in is whether women who are trying to do the right thing have an easy time of it compared to men who are trying to do the right thing.
This was, in my view, the best example of that question which he raised. He put it several different ways, but I think that version is the easiest to understand.
Deti had his own set of questions:
- if women really arenât satisfied with all this casual sex theyâre having, why are they having it?
- If the casual sex they have is so unsatisfying and they want something else, what are they doing to change such that they donât have to have all this unsatisfying casual sex (but continue to have, nonstop)?
- And if casual sex is so unsatisfying, then what would satisfy them?
- And if something other than casual sex would satisfy them more, why donât they go get it? Or at least, why donât they NOT do things they claim are so unsatisfying?
Any other questions they have, which they would like people to try and answer, they can mention in the comments below. I will bring them up here and mention them in the main post if I feel it appropriate.
With all of that out of the way, let me try and answer these questions myself.
Let’s begin with Zippy’s:
What I am interested in is whether women who are trying to do the right thing have an easy time of it compared to men who are trying to do the right thing.
His is fairly simple. I think the answer is that both of them have such a terrible time of it that it is impossible to tell who, if anyone, has it worse.
Something important to note is that Zippy is looking at the market as a whole, which effectively moves the real question to moral agency and the ability/likelihood of choosing what is good over what isn’t. It isn’t about who can marry, or even marry well. Just how easy it is do to what is right- which can include marrying or not marrying. With those parameters, I think men and women are on equally awful footing.
Now, if one were to alter Zippy’s question (and it would be an alteration), towards asking whether men or women have an easier time when it comes to marrying right, then my answer would change somewhat. In the past I have said that women had it easier. However, as time has passed I’ve reconsidered this. Originally it was a more significant advantage comparatively, although insignificant in an objective lens. it lessened over time, with teh advantage mostly owing to the lower number of marriage-worthy women as compared to men (again, comparatively- absolute numbers are something else). Nowadays I am not sure this is true. Enough men might be dropping out of the market entirely that this has changed.
Now to try and answer Deti’s questions. I will tackle them in order.
- A lot depends on the meaning we attach to “satisfaction”. And of course, who we are talking about. However, if we assume just temporary sexual gratification, and women as a general aggregate, then women probably are getting some satisfaction. However, it is not to the level of what they want. They want more satisfaction. Remember, they are women- only the best will do (I jest, I jest). As for why they have it- because they are fools, and to borrow a metaphor, they are throwing good money after bad. They don’t know where else to look for true satisfaction/fulfillment.
- They are trying to weed out as many unworthy men as possible from the SMP. Oh, and they are also trying to sabotage each other, too.
- Fried Ice. No, in all seriousness the answer depends on who we are talking about again. If it is women as an aggregate, it would be to have a top tier men all to herself. And to be able to toss him if bored or he loses top tier status.
- Many possible answers. Perhaps they are lazy. Perhaps they don’t know, or cannot think of anything other/better. Maybe I should let this one go…
And with that, I leave the floor open to others to take there stab at these questions, and related ones.
Who has it harder in the marriage market: devout and serious minded Christian men, or devout and serious minded Christian women?
Can we even tell? And does it even matter?
Go ahead and add your own.
