I think people are too obsessed with kino. It’s really not very important outside of the nightclub environment. The key to getting a girl across the sexual rubicon is to flip the switches in her hindbrain to make her feel that motion-towards of “I want this guy inside me”. The forebrain won’t help you much – think of it as a guarddog protecting the property and then just toss it enough bones to keep it distracted and quiet. When you start kinoing a girl you are unequivocally telling her hindbrain that you are chasing her – this will still work but it’s carrying her across the sexual rubicon not enticing her to make the leap herself.
I believe this is a crucial component in why most guys I know cannot achieve hand in their relationships. They set the frame in the beginning that they are chasing and she is the prize.
I like to multi-task my verbal escalation so that I can build comfort, show vulnerability, DHV, master her intellectually, heat her up, anchor her sexual feelings to me, while showing her a very easy path towards sexual gratification. I shot this video to give an example. The how-to explanation is in my book.
We begin the question game about 15 minutes after sitting down for a drink, after we’d had ten minutes shopping and before that ten minutes in the initial approach. This is a delayed instant date. Our total time since the cold approach was 35 minutes – that’s how quick you can go into this material if all the planets have aligned for you.
Things to look for in the video:
- My vocal tone is flat and calm. I’ve not got my tongue hanging out all excited to be talking about sex.
- I’m not propositioning her yet. The overt frame is we are getting to know each other. The escalation is a side bonus.
- I am genuinely interested in her attitudes towards sex and she can feel it’s authentic
- There is no judgement about morally good / bad. She feels free to open up
- I begin relatively light and then keep going deeper and dirtier. It’s a smooth progression.
- Her questions tell me alot about what she is interested about in me. In particular it allows me to preselect and also share deep rapport. Yes, you can get rapport during dirty talk.
