Saturday 19th December 2009 and London is full of Christmas cheer. I get a call from Mark, the DC lawyer who I met while day gaming in summer. He’s in London this weekend and wants to wing. Great. We meet at Covent Garden at 2pm and get started. The usual first-approach AA is with me big time and I’m cockblocking myself. Then I see HB7 Brit and give chase. Normal direct opener and she gives me the boyfriend defense. I plough and she’s IOIing and being a very pleasant posh girl. After five minutes I fail the number close but don’t care. I feel like I’ve just stepped into a pair of very comfortable shoes.
I apocalypse a HB6 Brunette in the open plaza. She doesn’t stop but she can’t help smiling, laughing and dawdling. Mark is stoked at seeing how the apocalypse works. I do it again on HB6 Teen, but then her mum, dad, sister, and baby in the buggy catch up. It strikes me as hilarious – propositioning an 18 yr old girl in front of her whole family by accident.
Krauser: *to group* Oh, are you all together?
Dad: *not really sure what’s going on* Yes.
Krauser: *smiles* Okay then, I don’t want to intrude.
*smiles to target, grabs her shoulders, turns her away and gives playful shove in the back*
Krauser: Enjoy your day.
I guess the learning points from that are:
– Apocalypsing a young woman in front of her family is close to the toughest set imaginable. And I got away without any negative responses at all, not even from the dad.
– A smiling playful manner forgives all sins.
Mark wants to sit down for coffee so we head to Cafe Nero and sit looking out the window, chatting. Mid-sentence he runs out and opens but can’t hook. I see HB9 Polish Model across the road, reading what turns out to be a google map printout. I run over and open with a slight tweak:
Krauser: Hi. I was just across the road there when I saw you…. you walk like you should be in a movie. What’s that about?
HB9: *smiles, laughs* umm, I don’t know. umm
Krauser: Yeah, you seemed so relaxed and had a graceful ease of movement. Anyway, you are? *extends hand*
HB9: I’m HB9. You?
Krauser: *keeps hold of hand* Krauser. You’re not from round here.
HB9: No, I’m not.
Krauser: *looks her up and down, still holding hand* Eastern Europe. *she nods*. Poland.
HB9: *smiles* Yeah, how could you tell?
Krauser: Statistical probability.
We vibe for a while and I tell her she’s nowhere near where she’s trying to get to. Standing side by side now, conspiratorilly. I decide that’s the easiest bounce because she has a meeting at this place in fifteen minutes.
HB9: So why did you come and talk to me?
Krauser: You seemed nice. Like you are comfortable here. You are nice aren’t you?
HB9: I’m nice. But really, why did you talk to me?
Krauser: I just told you. Doesn’t this happen much?
HB9: Well, guys do sometimes talk to me, but this seems different.
Krauser: Yeah. Girls sometimes come talk to me in bars and clubs but not so much in the street.
HB9: You’ll never guess what I do, or where I’m going.
Krauser: Sure I can. You are client facing *she nods*, in retail *she nods*
HB9: Wow. I work in  [sport] shop.
Krauser: Uh-huh.
HB9: But I’m going somewhere totally different for this meeting.
Krauser: Sure, I’ve got no idea.
HB9: I’ve got an audition with a modelling agency.
Krauser: What, like a hand model, or a foot model? [I like dropping in cheesy Mystery lines every now and then]
HB9: *mock outrage, smiles* No, a tooth model.
When we arrive at the agency I’m certain there’s no instadate possible and I’ll need to eject before she dismisses me. Time to get the number, seed a date, and she what happens. I’ve already been doing some DHVing about buying a panda for my nephew, and painted an emotionally evocative picture of my Christmas in the countryside.
HB9: Do you think I’ll get the job?
Krauser: Dunno. My last girlfriend was a model but she was more like an action pose model. She was petite *hand motion* and a dancer. It’s not really comparing like with like, so I’m not the expert on this. Let me see.
*I lean back and check her out, she smiles and does a little pose*
Krauser: Hmmmmm
*I twirl my finger to indicate her to spin around. She does*
Krauser: I wouldn’t hire you. *she laughes*. But keep smiling that nice smile and you might get lucky.
I number close. She shit tests again:
HB9: What makes you think I don’t have a boyfriend?
Krauser: I don’t care. You could’ve been with him five years or one week. That’s your business.
HB9: I could be married.
Krauser: No. You’re too happy.
HB9: *laughs*
Krauser: Anyway, I have to go. I’m taking my friends to the ice skating at Winter Wonderland now. Give me a text when you’re out of the audition.
HB9: I love ice skating.
Krauser: Yeah, you communists are good at that stuff.
HB9: *laughs*
About an hour later I text:
Krauser: [Jambone]. I just met a girl. She’s really cute but works in a [sports] shop. I’m not sure if I should date her. She might be one of those [sports] perverts you told me about.
HB9: Yeah mate, i’m one of’em ð But don’t worry, i can’t date you anyway. I’ve got a boyfriend, but your cute too ð Take care.
Normally I’d take that as a brush off but having heard Burto recount his long long road to f-closing a Playboy model and all the IODs she tested him with first, I’m inclined to think there’s something in this because:
– She replied at all. She actually replied within half an hour too.
– She played along with the frame
– The smileys and the “your cute” IOI
I discuss this with Burto who thinks it’s a simple shit test. Tony T suggests I wait a few days then build rapport through texts without trying to invite her out. That’s what I’ll do. See what happens. Mark and I get to Winter Wonderland as darkness is closing in. The SS guys have a couple of students with them so I end up helping out, demoing approaches.