Right now, you still feel totally attached to her.

You want her back so badly and think about her often, if not every day.

Sheâs always on your mind and you just want to be able to hug her, kiss her and love her again.

Yet, sheâs not feeling the same way at the moment.

Youâre essentially alone with this.

Feeling that loneliness, rejection and the pain that comes with it can often lead a man to making one of the following mistakes, which only pushes his ex further away.

So, if you want her back, be sure to avoid the following 3 mistakes:

1. Trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation with her when sheâs not even attracted anymore

Trying to have deep and meaningful conversations when she's not feeling attracted

Think about it from her point of view.

She has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.

As a result, she no longer really cares about the relationship and is trying to steer herself in a direction that will allow her to feel respect, attraction and love for a man again.

She doesnât feel it with you, so she is closing herself off to you.

So, if you then start talking about the relationship and saying things like, âYes, we went through some difficult times and I made some mistakes, but the love we shared was real. Iâve never loved a woman as much as I have loved you. That must mean something. You have to admit that you and I had an amazing connection before. The love was real and it is still there for me and I know you would still feel it a bit too. So, we shouldnât just be throwing this love away. You mean everything to me. Donât I mean something to you?â sheâs just not going to be feeling the same way you do.

As a result, it will highlight to her that the feelings between you and her arenât mutual anymore.

She will realize that you are trying to hold onto something that just isnât there for her.

As a result, she might say something like, âSorry, but I just donât feel the same way as you do. Weâre no longer together anyway because weâve broken up. So, as far as Iâm concerned, the relationship is over and I really donât want to be talking about it. We gave the relationship a shot, it didnât work out and now itâs time to acknowledge that and move on. So, please just accept it and let me get on with my life.â

Essentially, she doesnât have feelings for you in that moment, so discussions about being your girlfriend again will seem uncomfortable, inappropriate or unwanted to her.

So, if you want your ex girlfriend to be interested in giving the relationship another chance, you first have to focus on making her have sexual and romantic feelings for you.

Without sexual and romantic feelings, she wonât feel motivated to get back with you, or to discuss the relationship or work on it.

Yet, when you reawaken her feelings first and make her want to get back with you, then she naturally becomes open to talking about the relationship and trying to get back together with you.

2. Hoping that expressing your feelings will make her have feelings

Sometimes a guy will hope that if he pours his heart out to his ex girlfriend, she will be flattered that he really does love her and it will make her want to reciprocate his romantic words by saying that she loves him too.

Yet, it almost never works out that way.

Why?

She has broken up with you because she stopped feeling enough respect, attraction and love to want to be with you.

As a result, when she ended the relationship, she didnât really feel as though she was losing much and saw it as being more of a benefit to her to move on without you.

After the break up, she may have felt some pain that comes with a break up, but because she didnât feel much respect, attraction and love for you, the pain will have gone away fairly quickly.

In a matter of hours, or days in some cases, she will have felt as though she was over you and ready to move on by meeting and dating new men.

So, if you come to her and express your feelings and pour your heart out to her (e.g. âI love you so much. You mean everything to me. Please just give me a chance. I would do anything for you”), then itâs not going to seem romantic to her, or seem like something she wants.

The reality is that women only appreciate romantic gestures, words and actions from a man that they are sexually attracted to and want to be with.

So, if your ex girlfriend wasnât feeling much sexual attraction for you leading up to the break up and hasnât been feeling it since, then she isnât going to want to be with you in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

As a result, she isnât going to be amazed, flattered and compelled to give you another chance if you pour your heart out to her and tell her how special she is, how much you love her and how youâd do anything to make her happy.

Instead, she will see your misplaced, romantic attempt to get her back as a desperate move because you donât know what else to do.

Additionally, in cases like that, a woman will often see her ex manâs actions and selfish.

Why?

Essentially, he is telling her how much she means to him and how much he wants her back, so to her, itâs basically all about him and what he wants.

He wants her back so badly, he needs her back to feel okay again and is willing to do whatever it takes.

From his perspective, he isnât being selfish and is being totally honest and sincere about his desire to make her happy and be a better man for her.

Yet, from her perspective, heâs just doing it to make himself feel better so he doesnât have to live with the pain of being the rejected one and being left behind.

Itâs a subtle thing that plays out in break ups that most men never understand and as a result, they are unable to get their ex girlfriend back.

So, what you need to understand is this: All that matters right now are her feelings.

To her, your feelings donât matter.

She knows how you feel and knows that you want her back, but thatâs not what will get her back.

What will get her back is when you reawaken her feelings for you, so she naturally has the motivation to want to get back with you.

Additionally, she begins to worry that if she doesnât get back with, she will end up regretting it and missing you as you move on with a new woman who sees your worth and value.

So, when a woman feels like that, she wants to avoid the pain and rejection that will come with a scenario like that and as a result, she opens herself back up to her ex.

Suddenly, she feels attached to him again and wants to be with him.

Yet, if you approach the ex back process by making the mistake of pouring your heart out to her when she isnât attracted to you, then sheâs just going to want to move on and leave you behind.

3. Assuming that she will feel attached again if you cut off contact and wait

Assuming that she will feel attached again if you cut off contact and wait

This is one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when trying to get an ex girlfriend back.

She isnât attracted, doesnât care about him anymore and he thinks she will suddenly care and feel attracted to him if he doesnât contact her.

Instead, she is already over him and simply begins to move on.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys donât realize that until itâs too late.

By the time a guy realizes that heâs been waiting and waiting and she hasnât contacted him, she will have already moved on, or will be in the process of moving on without him.

So, when he finally reaches out to her (e.g. after 30-60 days), she will then say something like, âI hadnât heard from you in such a long time that I assumed you had moved on. Iâm actually surprised to hear from you. Anyway, Iâm not going to lie to you – Iâm with someone else now and Iâm very happy. I donât want to be texting back and forth with you because that would be disrespectful to my new boyfriend.So, please respect my new relationship. I wish you all the best.â

Her ex is then left feeling rejected once again.

He thought that she would fall for the trick of not contacting her, but like most women, she didnât.

She had already lost a lot of respect, attraction and love for him by the time she broke up with him, so she was ready to get over him and move on pretty much right away.

â¦and she did.

So, hereâs what you need to knowâ¦

In most ex back cases, 3 to 7 days of no contact is long enough to allow an ex woman to calm down, miss you and open up to the idea of interacting with you again to see what happens.

Anything longer than that and a woman will usually open herself up to meeting new guys, going on dates, having sex and falling in love again.

Over the years, Iâve heard from so many guys who have been disappointed after giving their ex girlfriend (or even ex wife) a month of space before contacting her.

They then find out that after a couple of weeks, she decided to go out with her girlfriends and get drunk and ended up sleeping with a guy, or she decided to get on dating apps and had gone on a bunch of dates.

In most cases, the woman then says that she is enjoying single life and doesnât want to get back together.

This is why, if you want your ex girlfriend back, you shouldnât wait too long to make it happen.

As the old saying goes, âOut of sight, out of mind.â

The longer you wait, the less you will be on her mind and without you around, she will naturally start to feel attracted to new men.

Like other women, she has sexual urges and sometimes feels horny and if youâre not around to satisfy that urge, then she will open herself to being with a new man instead.

So, if you want your ex to feel attached to you again and to feel attracted to you, then make it happen.

Interact with her in the next few days and reawaken her feelings for you (e.g. being confident and emotionally masculine, using humor to make her feel relaxed in your presence, making her feel feminine and girly, flirting with her, being a bit of a challenge in a playful way as you talk to her).

When her feelings have been reactivated, she will naturally open up to being your girlfriend again, or at least hooking up with you to see what happens after that.

So, donât waste another day avoiding her.

Call her or meet up with her as soon as possible, reactivate her feelings and get her back.