To make your ex regret dumping you and want you back, follow these 5 steps:

1. Discover Her True, Hidden Reasons For Leaving You

Her true, hidden reasons for leaving you

Some guys know exactly what caused their ex to break up with them (e.g. the guy cheated on her, he lied to her, he was abusive towards her).

However, in most cases, a guy isnât fully clear on what caused his ex to dump him and often just accepts the reasons she gave him.

For example: A guy might say, âMy ex broke up with me because she said she needed some space to focus on her career.â

He might then think to himself, âIf I give her some space to focus on her work, she will realize what a great guy I am and she will then regret dumping me and want me back.â

Yet, thatâs not how it works.

To begin with, most women will rarely come out and say exactly what is turning them off about a guyâs behavior.

So, when a woman says things like, âI need some space,â or âI just donât feel the same way about us anymore,â or âThings have changedâ or “I don’t know what I want anymore,” itâs usually her way of letting the guy down gently.

She doesnât want to come right out and reveal her true, hidden reasons why she is dumping him because:

  • She doesn’t want to tell him her secret reasons (e.g. he’s not manly enough, he’s too emotionally sensitive) because she doesn’t want him to quickly start acting like he’s fixed those things.
  • Sheâs afraid that if she tells him what heâs doing wrong, he might become angry or possibly even violent.
  • She doesnât want to give him a chance to talk her out of her decision (e.g. by begging and pleading with her, promising her he will change, telling her how much he still loves her).
  • She doesnât want to teach him how to be the kind of man she needs in her life.
  • She doesn’t want him to take her feedback the wrong way (e.g. one of her secret reasons might be that he’s too much of a pushover and let’s her get away with disrespecting him. She fears that if she tells him that, he might take to too far and become too assertive, controlling and aggressive in an attempt to show her that he’s not a pushover anymore).

Hiding her real reasons for the break up

Rather than telling him how to get her back, a woman will usually just try to cut her losses and move on in the hope that she can find a man who already has the ability to maintain her respect, attraction and love in a relationship.

So, if you want to make your ex regret dumping you and want you back, you need to be able to show her that you understand her secret reasons for breaking up with you, without her needing to explain them to you.

If you are unsure about what those reasons are for you, check out the list below and see if any of the following apply to you and your relationship.

  • Were you both after the same kind of relationship, or did you want different things (e.g. one of you wanted to have fun together, but the other was focused on work or finishing university, or one of you want to get married and start a family, while the other was more focused on career)?
  • Were you making her feel feminine and girly in your presence, or did you allow her to take on a more masculine role in the relationship (e.g. by letting her make all the decisions, letting her push you around, becoming the more emotionally sensitive one)?
  • Did you make her feel loved and appreciated, or did she feel you were taking her for granted (e.g. you stopped noticing her efforts to look good, stopped telling her how much you loved and appreciated her, you put her in second place to your friends and expected her to put up with it)?
  • Were you always respectful towards her, or did you get into a habit of criticizing or belittling her (e.g. making fun of her in front of other people, disregarding her opinions or ideas, making her feel stupid in comparison to how intelligent you are)?
  • Did you live a balanced lifestyle that she was a part of, or did you become clingy and needy and mostly focus all of your time and attention on her?

By answering these questions, you will begin to get a better understanding of what caused your ex to dump you in the first place.

Then, when you interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call and especially in person) you can show her via your body language, behavior, the way you talk to her and the way you respond to her, that you have now changed.

She will be able to see that are no longer the guy she dumped and you have already improved in the days or weeks since the break up.

When that happens, she wonât be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.

She will then start to regret dumping you and will begin to imagine how good it would feel to be back in your arms again, kissing you, having sex with you and telling you that she loves you.

On the other hand, if you donât fully understand what has been turning her off about you, chances are high that you will keep making the same old mistakes in your communication style, or will keep offering to fix the wrong things that she doesn’t even care about (e.g. a guy might say, “I will treat you so much better, I promise,” but what she really wants is for him to be more manly and not be such a hopeless romantic).

If you offer her the wrong things, she will just keep saying things like, âSorry, Iâm not interested,â or âJust accept that itâs over.â

2. Begin Fixing Those Things About Yourself

Begin fixing your issues and improving yourself

Understanding what caused your ex to dump you is a great start, but that alone isn’t what will make make her want you back.

Neither will texting, e-mailing or calling her up, to say things like, âIâve really changed. Iâm a different guy now. I promise I wonât make the same mistakes again if you just come back. Please give me another chance and you can see for yourself that Iâm a changed man.â

Remember: Actions speak louder than words.

If your ex has lost respect and attraction for you as a man, regardless of how sincere you might be, she is likely going to assume the worst about you and think that you’re still the same guy and won’t be able to change how she feels.

To make your ex regret dumping you and want you back, you need to show her via your behavior, the way you think and act, what you say to her and the way you respond to what she says, that youâre now at a different level from when she broke up with you.

For example: Ask yourselfâ¦

  • How do I usually react when my ex says that she doesn’t want to be with me?

If she says things like, âMy feelings for you are dead,â or âYou mean nothing to me anymore,â do you remain and think to yourself, âIt’s fine. I accept that she feels that way right now, but I also know that feelings can and do change all the time, so how she feels now is not permanent. I can change how she feels and make her love me againâ or do you get upset or angry with her and possibly beg and plead by saying things like, âPlease give me another chance! I canât live without you! Don’t do this to us. We can make it work.â

  • How do I react when she talks about other guys?

Do you lose hope and think, âOh no! She’s talking about other guys. This means that she will have sex with them, enjoy it and never want me back,â or do you remain confident in yourself and focus instead on making her smile, laugh and feel attracted to you again?

When your ex sees that she can no longer make you react in the ways that you used to when you were together, she will feel respect for you and begin to feel drawn to you again.

You don’t need to be perfect to get her back, just better.

Actions speak louder than words, so rather than trying to convince her with words (e.g. “I will change”), convince her by how you now think, feel, talk, behave and act around her and in life.

3. Improve Your Ability to Attract Her During Interactions

Make her love the new you

When a woman breaks up with a guy, chances are high that sheâs not going to want to interact with him much, or at all after they part ways.

So, to make your ex regret dumping you and want you back, you canât sit around hoping she will somehow wake up one morning and think to herself, âI miss my ex so much. I think I want to get back together with him. I should call him and ask him to come and see me so we can get back together.â

The chances of her doing that are just way too low.

I’ve personally helped 100s of men to get women back and the fastest, easiest way to get a woman back is to actively re-attract her.

You need to use every chance you get, whether itâs via text, on social media, e-mail, on a phone call, or in person, to show your ex that youâve changed and make her feel like sheâs losing out if she continues to stay broken up with you.

For example: When you interact with her and sheâs being cold towards you, you need to get her to smile and laugh, and let her experience your newfound confidence based on how you think, feel, talk and behave around her now.

The more that she can see that youâre not responding to her like sheâs expecting you to, the more she will begin wondering, âWhatâs going on here? Why isnât he getting upset or angry like he used to when we were together? Something is really different about him,â and she wonât be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.

However, if you keep making the same old mistakes in your communication style, she will likely just keep pushing you away like she always has.

So, to avoid turning her off even more, here are some mistakes to avoid making when youâre interacting with her.

  • Lying about moving on when you havenât.

Sometimes a guy will pretend that heâs moved on with his life, even though he hasnât, in the hopes that it makes his ex regret dumping him and then want him back.

For example: When a guy interacts with his ex, he might say things like, âI’m totally fine about us breaking up. I mean, I would never get back together again anyway because Iâm so over you now,â or âIâm actually glad that we broke up. Iâve been going out a lot lately and there are so many women interested in dating me, so things have been fun. I would hate to be stuck in a relationship now. Single life is way more fun.â

If that’s his honest opinion, then he can go ahead and say that if he wants to be rude and get some revenge by hurting her feelings a little.

However, if a guy wants her back, he shouldn’t make up lies about being over her when he isn’t.

Why? A woman can easily catch him in a lie by showing interest in him and then pulling back to see how he reacts.

For example: She might say, “Actually, I was thinking that maybe we should catch up. I’ve missed you. I don’t want to be single anymore. I want you back” and then when he starts saying, “Yeah, well maybe we could do that. I’ve been missing you too” she might say, “Hhhhâ¦I don’t knowâ¦I need time to think about it” and then string him along to get revenge for lying about being over her.

Lies just don’t help in an ex back situation, so whatever you do, just be honest.

In life in general, it’s way easier (and less stressful) to just be honest all the time because you then have nothing to hide.

If you try to lie to her to make her regret losing you and she catches you out in that lie by showing interest and then pulling it away when you show interest back, she’s just going to lose respect for you and that will make it harder to get her back.

  • Bragging about what you have achieved since the break up to hopefully make her feel like she’s let a great man go.

Another way that some men try to make their ex woman regret dumping them is by bragging about all the great things theyâve been doing since the break up.

For example: A guy might say to his ex, âIâve been so busy since we broke up. I got promoted at work and Iâm now earning so much more money, so Iâm planning to tour through Europe next summer. Oh, and did I mention⦠Iâve got a brand new car as well. Youâd love it!â

Yet, in most cases, a woman will know if he insecure and is only saying those things to hopefully impress her.

So, rather than making a woman think, âHmmm⦠my ex sure has become very successful since we broke up. Heâs such a great guy. I never realized what a great catch he really is. I wonder⦠maybe we should get back together again,â she may think, âLameâ¦I canât believe heâs bragging to me about those things. Doesnât he realize that what matters to me is who he is as a man? Like I care how much he earns now or that he has a great car. I’m not going to be in a relationship with those things; I will be in a relationship with him and it is him and his thinking and behavior that turns me off. He still doesn’t get it.â

  • Trying to make her feel guilty for how bad she made you feel.

You promised that we'd be together forever

Itâs only natural that when a guy gets dumped, he might feel hurt and betrayed by his woman.

After all, she probably once said to him, “I love you so much. I want to be with you forever” or something along those lines.

So, if a guy is a man of his word and he said the same thing back to her at the time, it’s only natural that he would feel betrayed.

He might then try to make his ex feel guilty for going back on her promise and making him feel so angry, depressed, lost and confused as a result.

For example: A guy might call up his ex and say something like, âHow can you do this to me?! How can you be so cold and heartless? After everything weâve been through and how much we loved each other, how can you just throw me out like an old pair of shoes? Iâm a person you know? I have feelings? Doesnât it matter to you that I love you?â

Secretly, he might be hoping that if she feels guilty enough about hurting him so badly, she might think to herself, âMy ex is rightâ¦I really have been a heartless bitch towards him. He must really love me if heâs feeling so hurt and sad about the break up. I regret making him feel that way, so maybe I should just give him another chance.â

Yet, it rarely works that way.

When a woman sees a man behaving in a desperate, insecure, emotionally weak way, it only turns her off even more.

She begins to wonder, âIf he canât cope with a break up, what will happen if he has to face other serious problems in life? Will he need me to guide him and protect him like Iâm his mother?â

Most women donât want to take on that role in a relationship with a guy, which is why they are primarily attracted to men who are emotionally strong, confident and able to cope with whatever life throws at them.

Guys who are insecure, self-doubting, needy or too emotionally sensitive feel like more of a burden than a benefit to women, so women usually close up, break up and try not to look back.

⢠Telling her that no other guy will love her as much as you do.

When a woman doesnât have feelings for her ex, hearing him say, âYou will never find a guy who will love you as much as I do. You mean the world to me. Why canât you see that Iâm the right guy for you? I love you so much. No other guy will treat you as good as I doâ isnât going to matter that much to her.

Why? A woman just wonât care much at all that a guy loves her, if she doesnât feel respect and attraction for him.

The feelings have to be mutual for her to care.

So, if you want to make your ex regret dumping you and want you back, donât waste a lot of time telling her how much you love her, because sheâs not going to care how much you love her compared to other guys if you donât re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you first.

4. Call Her to Let Her Experience the New You

Get her on a phone call

Some guys believe that texting an ex is a safe, non-threatening way of interacting with her and will ensure that he can slowly get her back without putting too much pressure on her by calling her or talking to her in person.

A guy may think, âMy ex is likely still angry with me, so if I call her up on the phone she will probably just hang up on me or tell me to get lost. If I stick to text messages, she won’t feel pressured and will appreciate that I’m taking things slow. She will gradually see that Iâve changed and will then be more open to the idea of getting together again.â

Yet, hiding behind texts is usually the worst thing that a guy can do to get an ex woman back.

Why? If she currently perceives him in a negative way (e.g. sheâs angry with him, she feels resentment and disappointment about who he became in the relationship and how that made her feel), itâs unlikely that she will perceive anything he texts her in a positive light.

Even if has really changed and is more confident, mature and emotionally strong than ever before, she can’t really determine that because she isn’t able to see his body language or hear the tone of his voice.

So, anything he says via text will potentially be seen by her in a negative way because she will imagine that the text is coming from the kind of guy he was when she dumped him.

If you want to regain your exâs respect for you, you have to let her experience the new you in a more substantial way than just text, e-mail or social media message.

The best way to do that is by getting her on a phone call where you can make her laugh, smile and feel your confidence via your tonality.

From there, you need to arrange a meet up with her, where you can continue to actively re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you.

5. Meet Up With Her and Allow Her to Experience the New You, But Don’t Try to Get Her Back

Meet up to get your ex back after a break up

When you meet up with your ex, continue saying and doing the types of things that have been turning her on (e.g. be confident, self-assured, make her smile and laugh, flirt with her).

At this point, it might be very tempting to want to push your ex to agree to giving your relationship another chance, especially if she seems to be having fun and is possibly even saying things like, âWowâ¦youâve really changed,â or âI canât believe that Iâm having so much fun with you again like this. Maybe we should do this again sometime?â

However, although you might be tempted to say, âYes! Letâs get back together again!â if you push her to get back into a relationship with you right away, she might change her mind and go back to playing hard to get.

If you want her to fully regret dumping you, the best approach is to say something like, “Well, let’s take it slow and see how we feel” or, “Let’s agree to catch up in a few days and if we still want to get back together, we will do it then” so you can build up her desire to want to get back with you.

Just make sure that you aren’t the one pushing to get back together with her if you haven’t yet fully reactivated her feelings of respect and attraction and made her want to give it another try.

If she’s not feeling it and you push to get back together, she may say something like, âYes, Iâve enjoying hanging out with you but that doesnât mean I want to be your girlfriend (fiancé or wife) again. You hurt me/disappointed me/really turned me off and I donât know if I can forgive you for that yet.â

So, make sure that you play your cards right.

Instead of trying to get her back when you meet up with her, focus instead on reactivating her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again.

Re-attracting your ex

You want to get her thinking, âWowâ¦my ex is so different now. I really enjoy his company. Iâm having so much fun. Being around him now is even better than it was when we first met. I want us to be back together. I regret breaking up with him now. I want this. I want him back.â

Once she is thinking that way, getting her back and keeping her in a relationship will be very easy for you.