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Breaking the scars

VD
April 4, 2015
Good Looking Loser explains how being excluded from the in-group left lasting scars on him that inhibited his socio-sexual development:
A lot of girls made themselves available to me but I really didn't know what to do about it.

I also had an unhealthy attitude about it.

I loved that girls at my high school noticed me and talked about me.

It gave meaning to my life.

It made me insecure instead of COMPLETELY insecure.

But a big part of me was more bitter than ever. Girls were only interested because I became good looking when years before - they wouldn't even speak to me.

I turned down a lot of girls with pride.

Some girls - right to their face.

I decided I was absolutely not going to hook up with any girls wouldn't give me the time of day just 1 year ago.

I told myself and my bewildered friends that "I WILL NEVER SELL OUT."

While this was a temporary absurd self-esteem boost, it cost me dearly.

I went to college with very little sexual experience and a huge ego.

It was probably the main reason I only had a average sex life in college.

I was scared and still terrified of rejection.
Fear is the single most important factor that prevents a man from rising in the socio-sexual hierarchy. This fear can be externally imposed or it can be internal, but in either case, it prevents a man from doing what he knows to be the right thing, from what he hopes will change his circumstances, or from even approaching the women in whom he is interested.

It wasn't pride that kept Chris from hooking up with girls who wouldn't give him the time of day one year before, it was fear that they were going to reject him at some point and thereby invalidate all the positive changes that had taken place in his life. I understand, because I went through much the same transformation in my own life around the same age; the only time I went out with a girl from my high school, she was two years younger and a new transfer student. And we only went on one date. I went out with a lot of pretty girls everywhere from Mounds View, Irondale, and Centennial to Blake, Edina, Jefferson and Kennedy. But not a single girl from my own school.

Rejection, whether it is from the group or from a woman, hurts. But it is rather like contact martial arts. The first time you get punched in the face, it is normal to go into shock. By the tenth time, so long as you don't break anything or get physically stunned, you'll shake it off quickly. By the one hundredth time, it will barely register with you, you'll simply file it away under "okay, that didn't work" and you won't even remember it otherwise.

Don't be afraid to be rejected, learn to push for rejection. Don't avoid the possibility of rejection, push to reach that moment of truth faster. Because the faster you are rejected, the faster you fail, the sooner you can move on to more fertile grounds, more receptive audiences, and more accepting groups.

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Post Information
Title Breaking the scars
Author VD
Date April 4, 2015 10:16 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Blog Alpha Game
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Alpha-Game/breaking-the-scars.5293
https://theredarchive.com/blog/5293
Original Link http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2015/04/breaking-scars.html
Red Pill terms in post
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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