Mister Gaiman, you’re kickass. I was just wondering, what do you think is the best way to seduce a writer? I figured your answer would be pretty spectacular.If you said "Gamma" you are correct. The weird thing about Gamma males is that for all their obsession with romance - one reliable tell is that when they do have a wife or girlfriend, they refer to her as "milady" or some similarly ornate construction - they tend to be rather reluctant lovers. I suspect that they are always thinking that any expression of interest in them must be a joke, or perhaps they are reluctant to descend to the dirty, dirty sexual depths of the higher-ranking men they both envy and despise.
In my experience, writers tend to be really good at the inside of their own heads and imaginary people, and a lot less good at the stuff going on outside, which means that quite often if you flirt with us we will completely fail to notice, leaving everybody involved slightly uncomfortable and more than slightly unlaid.
So I would suggest that any attempted seduction of a writer would probably go a great deal easier for all parties if you sent them a cheerful note saying “YOU ARE INVITED TO A SEDUCTION: Please come to dinner on Friday Night. Wear the kind of clothes you would like to be seduced in.”
But I don't actually know. Perhaps some of the Gammas who read here could explain it. As far as I can tell, it seems to be a magnified version of the normal man's aversion to taking advantage of an excessively drunk girl, only minus the alcohol. I've heard Gammas say they don't want to "take advantage" of perfectly sober, perfectly unincapacitated women, and when, incredulous, I asked them what they were supposedly taking advantage of, the answers ranged from the young woman's emotional state to prospective changes in her geographic location. Incredible.
Of course, we already knew most writers were gamma males on the simple basis of reading their novels, in which no man except the villain ever pursues a woman with sex in mind. The typical protagonist goes about his business with no thought of romance in mind until a beautiful, large-breasted redhead jumps into his bed without any warning whatsoever. After which unanticipated event, they are a couple forever and ever.
Seriously, it's like a window into gamma psychosexuality, to see the same form of relationship described over and over and over again in literature. One could write vast quantities of literary criticism on the basis of socio-sexuality alone. In fact, I believe I will introduce that as a regular feature here.
Who are some of the writers, and what are some of the novels, you would like to see analyzed through a sociosexual perspective?
WARNING: Gaiman's advice should not be heeded if you find yourself attracted to a writer who is either a Sigma or an Omega. In either case, you may well find yourself greeting someone at the door in either a) an animal costume, or b) full leather bondage attire.
