I'm pretty sure my parents are headed for a divorce. My mom is a pants-wearing, bread-winning, top-of-her-class VP of marketing. She's also an ISFJ, which is a big point in her favor. My dad is an ENFP and a serious gamma. Telling him about Game is out of the question; its very existence would offend him. He makes about half her income.In brief answer to the questions, I would say 1) You owe it to them to try, 2) You have the right to try, but be aware that the likelihood of success is low if things are as you perceive them to be. 3) Talking to your father at this point will serve no purpose, you first have to figure out your mother's current state of mind. I would have a frank conversation with her about her feelings and her intentions. Don't argue with her, just hear her out and attempt to gauge if your perceptions are correct, and if so, try to estimate how rapidly her rationalization hamster is spinning.
I'm a pretty recent convert to the Game crowd, although I haven't studied much application. Reason being, I'm not very interested in starting a family or women in general. Seems like too much work and not much payoff. Anyway, I started out as an omega/loner/outcast/whatever. I'm smart, but I didn't pay any attention to social dynamics until earlier this year. Social climbing doesn't interest me in the least, but social ignorance has already cost me more money than I'm comfortable telling. Thus, I'm changing my ways. Big results too: dominant body language does wonders.
Why all the background? My estimation of people isn't very good yet, so I don't want to give a false impression of confidence. Here are the indicators of divorce:
1. The youngest child is a year from leaving the house.
2. My mom is asserting independence in other areas, like talking to job headhunters.
3. Her church attendance has dropped to zero.
4. They don't talk without fighting.
5. My siblings and I are not doing well on our own.
6. They both prefer the "feeling" rational cognitive function to the "thinking" rational function (ISFJ and ENFP).
Here are the indicators against divorce:
1. They're both Christians.
2. They're 50 and both have little to zero value in the sexual market.
Here are my questions:
1. Ought I interfere?
2. Can I interfere?
3. How would I go about interfering?
If she drops the "I love your father but I'm not in love with him" line, then as per Athol Kay, she has probably already met someone else who is a possible replacement for her current husband. In that case, it's all but over already given the various factors you mention. If, on the other hand, she expresses frustration and appears to be compensating for that by focusing on her career, there is still a chance things can be salvaged. At that point, you can consider having a frank conversation with your father about your belief that your mother is going to leave him soon if he doesn't start belatedly transforming himself into a man she can be attracted to again.
I find it hard to imagine that the two positive factors you mention will amount to much. Since your mother has already abandoned church, this is an indication that she will rationalize away any religious objections to her actions. And as hard as it may be to believe, 50-somethings of low sexual market value may actually place more importance on entering the market than much higher value 20-somethings because it is their last chance to do so. Since you are not a particularly social creature yourself, I would be surprised if you were to learn your suspicions were completely mistaken; things must have gotten fairly bad for you to have become aware of them at all.
Above all, keep in mind that their problems are not yours and that you can genuinely benefit from learning from their mistakes. You may not find women very interesting, but you should be interested in one day starting a family if you are of the opinion that the human race with worthy of continued survival. A parental divorce will leave its mark on children, even adult children, but it doesn't need to be a serious one. So, do your duty by your parents by seeing if you can help get past their difficulties, but don't worry about it if you cannot.
