A man recently turned to yahoo answers for help with his question “My wife of 5 years grabbed me.?”
A few night ago my wife and I got into an argument. We both had had a few drinks at home with some friends for her birthday. She was mad at me and we went to our bedroom to talk about it. I shut the door behind us and was standing in front of it. She was very mad and hit a cup of water across the bedroom. And said she was leaving. I told her there’s no reason to leave and that we should jut talk and move on with our night. She walked over to me and grabbed my wrists and threw me into the bed. And then left the room. I have bruises on my arms and side. She has never touched me in the 6 years we have been together. But a week ago she got in my face for the first time. So it seems to me that it’s getting worse. Should I take these as red flags? If so what should I do. Also we have three kids together. I don’t want this to effect them.
Is she abusive for pushing him aside when he tried to hold her captive? Given her (mostly) non abusive track record, should he give her another chance to learn the proper way to be held captive so she doesn’t abuse him again? Or should he divorce her, take the kids, and make her pay child support? What if the situation was actually the other way around?
In another recent question on answers, a wife picked up a searing hot pan during a heated argument and hit her husband with it. The husband struck back in self defense, and she ran away crying. The husband was distraught, and wanted to know how to explain to his wife that he was only acting in self defense. One of the answerers advised the husband accordingly (emphasis mine):
I suggest you call the UK Women’s Aid domestic abuse hot line at 0800 2000 247. The counselor there can help explain to you why you did what you did, what your wife is feeling right now, and how to prevent it from happening again. They are non judgmental and will be glad that as an abuser, you chose to call and get information on how to stop abusing your wife. Then tell your wife that you called, and give her the number so that she can call too. Then you both set up an appointment with a marriage counselor to see together, and you get a personal counselor just for you who specializes in anger management.
Please don’t hit your wife again.
See also: Blowing the Whistle on the Domestic Violence Research Paradigm
Moderation note: This is an emotional topic, so please use restraint. Any comments which advocate violence against men or women will be removed and the commenter banned.
