This is not my story - but I found it relevant to this sub. (I re-edited for decent paragraphs)
"My step-daughter wants her "Real Dad" to give her away"
My step-daughter will be getting married on August 3rd. The wedding planning has consumed most of her and her mother's life (I say her mother because we aren't married, though we've lived together for 10 years) for the past six months.
My step-daughter graduated last December from University. I paid for her to go to college, though it was a state school, it still ran $40K. She does not have a job and has been living with us for the duration of her college career and since her graduation. I also bought her a car to get back and forth from school when she finished high school.
From time to time her deadbeat father would pop into her life and she would fawn all over him. Although he has not contributed a cent to her education or paid any child support, though that is my girlfriend's fault as c.s. was not part of the settlement, she still loves him and wants him in her life. He stays long enough to break her heart by skipping town and breaking some promise that he made her.
The wedding venue holds 250 people max. I gave them a list of 20 people that I wanted invited, you know, since I was paying for everything. They told me that was no problem and they'd take care of it. So I let these people know they'd be getting an invite and they should save the date. Saturday, I saw one of my friends on this list at the golf course and asked if he was coming. He told me that he wasn't invited. He told me that he got an announcement, but not an invitation. He had it in his back seat (along with probably six months of mail) and showed it to me. Sure enough, it was just an announcement, and my name was nowhere on it. It had her dad's name and her mom's name and not mine.
This led to a pretty big fight with my GF, as I found out that NONE of my list of twenty "made the cut" for the final guest list because "250 people is very tight." I was pissed, but not a hell of a lot I could do because the important people in my life had already been offended. My GF said "if some people didn't rsvp yes, I might be able to get a couple people in." But that is an ultimate slap in the face in my opinion. So, I was boiling on Saturday.
Yesterday, we had a Sunday dinner with the future in-law's family and us and a surprise guest, the "Real Dad." At this little dinner my step-daughter announced that her "Real Dad" was going to be able to make it to her wedding and that now he'd be able to give her away. This was greeted with a chorus of "Oh how great" and "How wonderful"s.
I don't think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected. I was shaking. I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because I honestly wasn't sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both. Once I was sure I'd be able to speak I got up from my chair and said I'd like to make a toast. I can't remember exactly what I said but the gist of it was this:
"I'd like to make a toast." The sound of spoons against glasses ring in my years. "It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years." Awe, how sweet. "At this point in my life I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to bride and groom, because they have opened my eyes to something very important." Confident smiles exchanged. "They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was." And now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room. "Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need, it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, but not much else. As I have been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, Real Dad. So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen." I finished my drink. "You all can let yourselves out."
Is this selfish? I'm supposed to shell out 40 - 50 grand for a wedding that I can't invite anyone to? That I am not a part of? I'm so done with this crap. I'm done with my step-daughter, I'm done with my GF. I transferred the money out of our joint account last night. (she has not had a job since she moved in with me) This morning I called all the vendors I had written checks to for deposits to refund my money. At present it looks like I'll lose around 1500, for the venue, but the other vendors have been great about refunding.
TLDR: You want your "REAL DAD" to be on the invitation, to give you away and to sit at the head table, fine, your "REAL DAD" can pay for everything too.
EDIT: The immediate aftermath was tantrum and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me, but to each other. After much yelling with the GF about me being selfish, I spent the night in my home office and no one knocked on my door, not once. Today's aftermath is kind of depressing for me. GF brought me Bride's wedding planner to show me how much work I was ruining. I thumbed through it, found a page in the music section for Father / Daughter dances. All of the songs were catered to Real Dad's taste. So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh. Either way, I'm glad to be done, returned the planner and asked her when she and bride could move out. Also, I never promised to pay for the wedding. I offered them the use of my home when they were sure it was going to be small, but other than that, all I've heard is how it's the Bride's family that should pay, so, let it be the bride's family then, aka, not me.
EDIT: June 9th 1:15 am. Girlfriend and Bride are now moved out. They are moving in with the groom. It was very hard not to be petty with some of the "belongings" they took with them, but it's done and I switched out the locks and now it's time for a brew. I can't believe how popular this story got, but I feel good to be given support by so many. If I find out what happens with the wedding, I will let you know, but I can't guarantee that I will put in the effort to find out. From what I've heard they are trying to "scale things back" and get his parents to help out. GF burned bridges when I found out she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger ass than her, but I could feel it coming. That's all. Thanks.
They should film this and show it every Christmas.
I remember this thread. I check it every so often to see if the guy gives any more updates. Luckily most of Reddit agreed with the guy. The particular sub that this thread was in has been taken over by SRS, so I doubt you would get the same responses now.
I remember reading it as well. What sub was it in?
It was posted here before (word for word) but it is still pretty awesome reading it a second time.
I think it was posted like 6+ months ago I'm guessing so some of the newer members would have something to learn from this.
Or the members who aren't on /r/TRP 24/7.
Yeah... well when it was posted the first time it was at the top of the main page for several days... and damn it's already up to +714 points.
I think it originally belonged to r/offmychest . It has the highest all-time upvotes on that subreddit. I remember reading it a couple months back.
[permanently deleted]
Yeah, that's where I got it from. I tried posting the link, but it was auto-deleted and said that I can't cite the sub I've sourced it from (if a reddit post).
A few months later there was another one. A different guy, same situation. Everyone pointed him to the one w are discussing. Didn't end as well. Dude number 2 was proud to be used as an ATM.
Can you find it?
Hei, if you bend over, don't cry when it goes in.
You're in luck. My comment was one of my most rated.
Here
Grin and bear it, he says. Grin and fucking bear it? You know what, I'm done feeling bad for these guys. If they put themselves in these types of situations and their response is something like that then you deserve what you get.
I never have felt bad for them. If they enjoy being used, that's their fetish, so be it.
You mean these guys? http://i.imgur.com/9hEc9q0.jpg
you deserve what you get indeed
no no...he said grin and bare it..he was referring to his ass..
Grin and bare it. Slightly different connotation. Sounds like he's preparing to get raped.
yeah like the married guy schtick about "if you're not married then you haven't earned the right to complain about women"
On this one job I had a GC (general contractor) supervisor that always made jokes and loved the saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" clearly resented his wife for being a woman (what husband doesn't) and yet would go all gushy talking about how great marriage is. One time we were talking and he goes into this rant about how his wife completes him and balances him out bla bla bla bla bla all I said after was "dude that's gay" and started laughing. So completely emasculated lol
Cognitive dissonance is so funny.
What the hell. That guy literally says "So I saw that thread, I agreed with it, but I'm more interested in being a matyr-beta-bucks than stopping other people from using me. Good day!"
I mean, goddamn, some dudes will really just shove their head in the sand
A beta and his money are parted easily by the right pair of legs.
It wasn't a text post, it was a scumbag
girlsteve meme in advice animals. I will try to find it but I make no promisesSRS?
Shitredditsays. You can pay a visit to the sub if you like. It used to be about funny shit. Now it's a nightmare of pussies and feminists defending and discussing garbage.
I used to think it was a joke sub, kind of like the Flat Earth forums where they pretend to think the world isn't round. A lot of the SRS commenters seem to be serious, though... maybe I'm just gullible.
You're correct they're serious. The fact they're taking what they chat about seriously bothers me.
Fun fact: A lot of reddit thinks they're a joke and a cult. Maybe similar to us, but ironically they're the ones who are supposed to be the "good guys" or some shit.
SRS = Your authority isn't recognized in Fort DickAss
I think you have us confused with /r/gay
Unfortunately, the admins think they are the "good guys" which is why they constantly overlook their blatant vote brigading and stalking/doxing of people. Hell, the admins even neutered /r/srssucks (and all /r/srssucks was doing was counter-brigading and kept most of their brigades to SRS itself)!
Yeah I've seen that posted here. They get a pass on brigading even though it's blatantly against the rules.
I'm sure they're hoping a vagina will open for that shit.
It's a fucking sin that some of these guys will bend over backwards for a girl.
SRS are the "Jocks" of the Opression Olympics. If Reddit were High School, SRS would be the towel snapping bullies that make gay jokes and when someone's older brother calls them on it, they get meek and claim "We were just kidding". The joke is that they really ARE awful bigots, pretending to be awful bigots.
Far be it from me to defend /r/SRS, but I've never seen them make gay jokes.
Not sure if serious....the people SRS are bigoted against are white/male/straight/cis. While target of the bigotry and hypocrisy may differ from the metaphor, it's still blatant bigotry and hypocrisy.
Who ARE those people? Is it some bizarre kind of trolling?
Social justice warriors. The keyboard white knights of the internet. Basically people with fuck-all else to do in their lives since they've bitched all their friends/boyfriends/relatives out of their lives already.
Actually I think it's a private sub. At least it was last time I tried to check it out. Which was the last ask reddit thread asking for worst sub reddits. Srs was listed as one, but ou had to be invited.
That's different then. It never used to be... Then again there was a time when we were laughing at the shit they used to post and a bunch of us got banned from it.
I'm sure it's been completely overrun by these butt hurt kids and are now screening members for the circle jerk.
This is what I was thinking. Gotta get real but hurt to lock down a sub.
I think you guys are looking at /r/srs instead of /r/shitredditsays. The latter isn't locked down from my end and I'm banned there.
It's a shame this doesn't get you anything special on your profile page.
Edit. Ignore. Already covered. Sorry.
I used to be subscribed to it back in the day, had a friend just sent me the "rules" of the sub:
Apparently they refer to SRS as the "Fempire".
Yeah... shit got weird real fast over there.
One of my crowning achievements on reddit is to have a comment of mine featured on SRS and then be banned when I lolled.
You know it's funny. Your description of it sounds really dismissing and opinionated, like how most people describe our sub: "a bunch of (labels)_ discussing _(something bad)_. Just something I noticed.
You can do that with most anything
Maybe
[permanently deleted]
Are you saying that SRS are literally SA?
It all makes sense now.
[permanently deleted]
That's very interesting. It all makes sense now. SA is strange and disturbing, I've seen what they do in Eve Online which they basically completely took over. They may have moved on by now...
Do you have links?
What on earth did they doing to EVE?
still waiting for those links you asked for
no he doesn't, which is why he told you to dig around a bit
Would appreciate those links if you have the time to find them, man.
This would have sounded like a silly conspiracy (who would go to that much trouble?) to the person I was when I found reddit a couple of years ago... but man, nowadays I can hardly read the comment sections of most of the default subs without cringing at all the mutual masturbation going on (and who can forget the god awful endless repetitions of the same 'jokes' - talk about deja vu). r/TheRedPill, and, to a lesser extent, r/mensrights, have acted as a sanctuary from the bullshit.
Unfortunately that's not a conspiracy. Most people really are mentally deficient.
You are exactly right, they are in every sub now
I did not know that there was such a thing as RP porn....
This is my 50 shades of grey.
I swooned half a dozen times. My hero!
Someone should write a book or make a movie.
This guy did it totally right.
Well said, I'm going to get some lube.
I like these Breaking Beta posts
There has to be more of these out there. I really want someone to find more.
http://img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1389/95/1389959906491.jpg
I love the ending. It's all happy and everything
lol, yeah. It even ends with a party... it's a fucking Adam Sandler's movie.
In a parallel universe where movies are red pill.
Thankyou for this. I don't get how woman with ideologies like hers will ever find a man.
My first problem would be that any woman with even remotely half a brain to understand that 60 year old cars are vakuable enough to pay for a wedding, shoukd also know they are valuable enough to keep.
The fact that she wanted to sell something tangible that's invaluable to her fiance as a family heirloom while simultaneously holding REAL value to pay for A SINGLE FUCKING DAY is absolutely insane.
Seriosuly. A wedding is a memory yes; but if it costs you an arm and a leg its NOT WORTH IT!! Keep it simple and cheap to stop the whole profiteering from hollywood romanticism.
My first problem would be that any woman with even remotely half a brain to understand that 60 year old cars are vakuable enough to pay for a wedding, shoukd also know they are valuable enough to keep.
I also hate that she wanted to use the money toward the wedding. Why should they spend all his money on one party when they can use the money for a down payment on a house or something. The notion of weddings should be expensive I find very stupid and wasteful.
Weddings being expensive harken back to a time when weddings were almost exclusively had by royalty. Fast forward to the age of the $40m a year millionaire and everyone has the same mentality. Its fucking disgusting and marriage itself isnt too far behind.
because looks are on her and it's her princess day
What I hate about these feminist cunts is that they all want weddings. If you like your ideology so much and "DONT NEED A MAN" why don't you ficking chew carpet you dumb arrogant cum dumpster!
Damn I wish I had popcorn for that.
I got a slight chub.....
I love the way she goes from loudmouthed cunt to desperate harpy.
Like watching the slow decay of a meth head in time-lapsed photos.
Oh lawd, I think I just came.
I read this every time it's posted. It's worth it every time.
wow this is amazing. SRS women are so repulsive even beta dudes will leave them.
This twat lives in my city.
Fucking epic. Taking themselves out of the gene pool, one trigger at a time.
I usually hate replys that add little to the conversation but~ Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Warranted for this one.
So GOOOD!
Thank you!
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Thank you for this. Seriously.
Now this is how Hollywood movies should always end. Beautiful, RP ending.
As a side note, I bet the woman's feeling more sexually attracted to the guy than she's ever been in her life. She might dislike him for what he did, but she can't deny sexual attraction.
If you'll excuse me, I'll be in my rack...
"You can let yourselves out."
got me hot and heavy
My heart started racing as he got to the cheer/announcement/telloff part! SO GOOD!!!! UNNNNFFFFFFFFHHHAARRAAHAHHhha.
lol
[permanently deleted]
[permanently deleted]
The bridges I burn shall light the way
only way to be sure...
GAME OVER MAN!
I am disappointed it took so long, but also happy it was at a point where they got burnt.
You said she tried to write a check to herself? How much?
What is the point of hurting people you supposedly cared for? What do you have to gain from it?
I have no idea. If only we could ask the bride and the mother of the bride what whey were thinking.
What drives me really mad in this story is the fact that they don't see what was wrong with this attitude they had. I wonder sometime if the only solution would be to lecture them one by one to see if they would realize. It literally drives me insane.
He's a guy with money willing to give it to them. If he keeps giving, take it. If he stops, find another host to latch onto. Right and wrong don't enter their minds, getting their hands on the money is the point. If you know any hard drug addicts you'll recognize the pattern.
The real lesson here is: never get involved with a woman with children. She'll always be thinking of providing for the children first (which is logical), you'll never be able to rank close to the value of her children in her life, and it's likely neither she nor the kids will respect you for supporting another man's child. The dynamic is different if the father has passed away, but it's still a minefield for the new guy.
I bet the mom was like "quick honey, tonight while he is alone moping at his office, here's his password to the online portal of his bank account, grab the 50k from their quick. I'll go have a talk with him about why we had to do it."
You can't talk to these people. If they were capable of being reasonable, just, fair, moral, etc etc they wouldn't have done all this in the first place. There is no solution except to let the world teach them that if they are manipulative gold-diggers, they will be put out on their ass. If they contribute value and make a man's life better, they may find a good home.
Yes, very true. Men internalize values and live them. In contrast, women (like children) must be shown by example and consequence what happens if they choose selfish opportunism over mutualism.
Perhaps she thought that her job in the relationship was only to provide sex.
Only when she wanted it, though.
That's some pretty goddamn expensive sex.
If it floats, flies, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent.
I think this is the shittiest realization of the whole ordeal. Glad OP came out on top and told those two cunts to get fucked.
"Selfish". Bitch, gtfowtbs.
[permanently deleted]
I dunno. I do think evolutionary biology has geared women to look for a man who can provide for them and the better a provider he can be the more likely she is to choose him as a mate, but is it the sole motivation..? I know that NAWALT gets thrown around religiously in this subreddit. There's a good chunk of women (I'll even concede that it's probably the majority) who do solely view a man as an ATM and once that is gone so are they but I wouldn't say it's 100% of women out there.
[permanently deleted]
Maybe for this new generation of women..? I definitely see that attitude way more in younger women.
My mom and several friends' mothers were all the breadwinners of the household and they all managed to stay married to our fathers.
AWALT doesn't explain them. I still believe it's true for the majority of women, because like you said - why gamble?
Oh yeah. Which is why I refuse to get married. Put a ring on it..? Nope. No thank you.
Anyone who thinks they are safe because they got a prenup is kidding themselves. Hollywood makes it seem like they are ironclad when in reality they get thrown out of court all the time.
That's called sarcasm. NAWALT is a cliche excuse.
you still have the venue? invite a bunch of college buddies for a kegger. with strippers. send GF an announcement, but not an invitation.
Bravo. Bravo.
Cherry on top dude
I am speechless to your awesomeness right now. This would be the correct thing to do next. A slow clap for you sir.
[permanently deleted]
I'm not sure I get what you're saying here...
And a le meme for you good sir!
Faggot
You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
Just brilliant.
It'd be great to have an index of these great RP Ah Hah! moments.
Most attacks on RP seem to be that we are angry and bitter misogynistic men but the 2nd stage of loss and grief is Anger.
Red Pill is about killing our illusions ("bad programming") in regards to the rules of attraction. Writing poems never got me laid. Giving women unnecessary praise for accomplishing nothing except being physically attractive didn't get me laid. What gets me laid now is a deep confidence that comes from continually watching this "bad programming" die.
I find that the pills help me see that there is infinitely more to life than the affection of a woman.
This comment is sidebar material, my friend. Explains concisely the rather cynical and bitter tone of the place.
Most people here are kind and caring human beings who have somewhat recently had their hearts broken by learning that everything they've been promised and taught by people they trusted was a lie and that they were raised, with intention, to be less than they could be.
If someone attacks a grieving person or group of people I think that says something about their empathy or intelligence and so I attribute those failings to the general sections of reddit who seek to demonize.
Best comment.
Thanks for the reminder.
Whether this is a true story or not, this fable should be entered into the redpill bible as, "The Book of the Alpha fucks, Beta bucks" Every young beta pining for a woman's affection and a family should be made to read this from his alpha brothers, father, or friends and forced to answer questions correctly before being allowed to seek pussy.
Small price to pay for one's sanity and freedom. Nice uplifting story.
Not to mention how he already lost 40k for his stepdaughter's worthless degree, and God knows how much else was leeched from him. He didn't pay a small price, he merely cut his losses before he paid more.
Wanna bet it was Women Studies?
Doesn't matter if it was a useful degree: a moocher won't make use of it. She'll mooch off her new husband and contribute nothing to the household other than a cumdumpster, and that will be available less and less over time.
Jesus christ this guy spent 10 years as a sucker...
LOL and I bet most of those asshats and their family see him as the "bad guy."
LOL @ "all the work he ruined" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I laughed pretty hard at that one.
Link to original?
And the moral of the story is. Never get involved with a single mother.
My brother's story.
My brother married a woman with 2 kids. He feed, clothed and housed those 2 kids. When they were grown and moved out of the house, the kids never once called him on his birthday or father's day. And here is the kicker. Once the kids were gone. So did the wife. He looks back at his life and realized that he was played big time. The wife used him to raise her kids.
This this bears repeating. DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH SINGLE MOTHERS!
Don't look at them, don't talk to them and in your mind they should be dead to you.
[permanently deleted]
I think it's the James Bond relationship advice.
A key part of this is Ignoring society's fable that "single moms" are somehow special. The second key is to ignore your manly instinct to be Capt-Save-A-Ho. There's a reason the 'damsel in distress' is in distress and 99% of the time it's her doing.
Except for the 1%, the rest is either her aversion to normalize the relationship with the biological father or it was a greater alpha, who feels absolutely no shame or guilt.
Most men can be shamed into having a part in the children's life, because the accusations have a sound moral basis. At some point in their life most men do want the "father experience".
It's most likely, that the problem is her. She despises him and wants to have nothing to do with him.
Single moms aren't inherently bad. If the father died or something drastic happened that's entirely out of her hands. Avoid the casually divorced single moms like the plague, though.
Fucking amazing.
OP, there is one thing you must do to put icing on the cake. Tell the real dad that you have no hard feelings and explain why you did what you did. Do the same with the groom and his family.
Notice how only the men will agree and the women scorn you for not fulfilling your beta purposes.
Dont worry though loosing those two fucks was a small price to pay for freedom. Oh wait, I forgot paying her college fees. I am very sorry for your loss. (Is there any way to relinquish those payments too?)
I've seen this a long time ago on MR. (They eventually come up with some good content). Good job on him. It sucks that the human mind sometimes needs to reach such a shitty low to wake the fuck up to what is happening.
But at least he woke up. Many, many, many men never do. Or even worse, they do wake up to the truth, but they are little pacifier sucking pussies who lack the spine to assert themselves and break out of the beta bucks role.
Also, single moms will very rarely give a fuck about you beyond your paycheck. I don't blame them for this - if I had a child, I would care about that child more than any other woman. It simply just makes them a horrible choice for a long term mate. Because they have a pragmatic sort of selfishness (once again, not blaming them for having this, it is natural), they will continuously project that onto you. Oh, you won't pay for my spawn's Philosophy degree? Selfish. It goes on and on - the most selfish person in the room sees everyone else as more selfish than they are.
Wow. I'm glad this guy finally realized what was going on and how little respect they have for him. Seriously. He paid for your college, raised our ass and was gonna help with your wedding, and he's not related to you at all. The very fact they would do this to himabd then get upset when he stands up for himself is beyond infuriating. Good for him. And fuck those two.
I can't comprehend the mindset of these women. How do they possibly think it's okay to treat this real father figure like this after all he's done for the daughter? And how can their family condone this?
Nope, that makes you intelligent.
Plus, it is your money.
If you moved "joint" money and she never tried to touch it, then maybe you would be "an ass"... but as things stand, no.
Don't think poorly of yourself because of the things that she forced/forces you to do.
Ten years of his life and God knows how much of this man's money wasted on a gaggle of women who never really loved him. How sad. You realise, don't you, that she would have jettisoned him anyway, the moment the last of her kids were successfully launched?
Your wording reminded me of these birds haha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brood_parasite
Here's a bit from linked Wikipedia article about Brood parasite :
Picture - A Common Cuckoo being raised by a Reed Warbler.
image source | about | /u/Blake55 can reply with 'delete'. Will also delete if comment's score is -1 or less. | Summon: wikibot, what is something? | flag for glitch
This is why it's called "cuckold." Cuckold actually refers to the cuckoo.
No matter how special the single mother is, I will never even consider a relationship with a single mother. Never. Ever.
Went through something very similar (2 yrs) I hated The Real dad thing. Being in that situation is like "oh hes such a good bf" but its like somehow the woman creates an aura of "I have him (you) because of how bad my last relationship turned out" They feel entitled to someone providing for them because the last guy didnt.
jesus, im sure reddit is trying to blame this guy...someone from SRS lol
As a tactical matter, it was dangerous for him not to close the accounts BEFORE making the speech. And then (I know it foregoes the Hallmark moment), he shouldn't have made the speech. Anything you say will be taken down and used as evidence that you're an abusive husband. Get your lawyer to do the talking.
They aren't married, but your advice is sound for the indentured among us.
Shit doesn't matter in some countries.
In mine we have defacto partnerships, they can still gouge you even if you're not married, just so long as you check enough boxes in the criteria of defacto partnerships.
This is what terrifies me - in some jurisdictions (mine included) if you're in a co-habiting LTR for a certain length of time you're considered to be in a 'de facto relationship' and if the relationship ends the partners could lay claim to the other's assets.
We call this 'Common Law Marriage' in England. My dad told me a sneaky way to mitigate the damages if you are co-habiting though, and it's all about paper-trail.
Essentially, this only works if she comes and lives with you/you have your own home.
Keep all bills in your name, mortage, gas, electric, water, council-tax, etc. but make her pay for the shopping; something that is disposible and has no address linking the purchase to the property, and get her to send her mail to her home/a forwarding address.
The timeframe is two years for CLM in England, so provided you can keep this going it should mitigate the amount owed (if any) as there will be no proof of her having contributed.
They can't be entitled to half, or anything for that matter, if you have been providing it and can prove so.
That's interesting. I'm not sure if the paper-trail method works here in New Zealand, but people used to put their houses into family trusts which were immune - but I believe that's changed now.
A colleague of mine told me that when his relationship ended, his five houses - owned by a company he owned - were split between them. The only way around it is to get a new partner before every 3 years. Or perhaps by having your property business owned by a holding company in the Bahamas...
Put all your money into physical gold, then 'lose' the gold.
i know this post is old but i just stumbled on it, My Parents told me the same thing, turns out its complete bullshit.
Unless you are married or have children you cannot and will not ever be held responsible for a partners debts/bills/expenses unless you specifically cosigned a contract stating so (in the UK).
Infact additionally you don't owe partners debts either, so if you wife before marriage has a debt of £10k and then marries you, that's still her debt and bailiffs cannot seize your property.
common law marriage is just a scare story, legally it has no truth to it at all
This is the case in Canada. It's called a Common Law relationship. Essentially if you look like you're living like a married couple, you're treated exactly as if you were one. It's fucking bullshit.
Most states don't allow common law marriages anymore. Please check the laws of your state.
What country are you in, if you don't mind me asking?
Australia.
Same holds true in Canada
The speech was probably impromptu spur-of-the-moment thing than something he planned.
He picked the perfect time to drop the bomb and was quick and diligent in mopping up the mess the next day.
As others have said it's a GF not wife so she's not technically entitled to half of everything.
In the end he was dead on... They were just using him as an ATM.
The spur-of-the-moment explanation is consistent and plausible. But since it's an unverified story, instead of getting too bogged down in those details, I think it's better to treat it as a fable or parable and discuss the lessons.
One of those lessons is to do with closure. Making the speech gave him emotional closure, and if the story is true it all worked out for him. But it's a dangerous thing. He's emotional, caught on the back foot, unlikely to express himself wisely or well. He's on enemy territory, with none of his own friends in the wedding party, so the worst possible interpretation will be put on anything he says.
The more important closure he should have been looking for at that moment was business closure. He's found out that he's been screwed in a complex, long-term business transaction, so his priority should have been to cut his losses. Since his partner has been treating it all along as a business transaction, he should assume that she knows where the assets are stashed and how to take possession of them quickly. In this particular story, the partner was evidently slow off the mark in her asset grab, so it worked out ok for him. I'm surprised that he managed to recover his deposits for the wedding costs - he must be an unusually persuasive negotiator.
The length of his relationship and the financial support of the stepdaughter can mean in some jurisdictions that his relationship is treated as a de-facto or common-law marriage.
Yeah... the lesson people should take from this is that everyone has their breaking point.
Seriously if they had invited his 20 people or made at least one of the meals with something he wasn't allergic to... Yeah, he'd still probably be sailing through a blue pill storybook life. The big old fuck you's thrown in his direction basically made him realize he was spending $50k on something he was not going to be able to enjoy and he said fuck this shit and torpedoed the ATM machine bullshit LIKE A BOSS.
He could potentially be at risk of paying alimony but lets assume that he is not since I don't think there are many states or jurisdictions that have the whole marriage by adhesion thing going.
There is such a thing as common-law marriage.
In something like seven states.
Nine states, plus the District of Columbia, though they all differ.
It's my understanding common-law marriage is only consummated by a child being born.
Maybe that's just in Texas. Am I wrong?
OP was never married to the bride's mother.
Then pehaps they shouldn't have asked him to shell out 50k for his girlfriend's daughters wedding? They can't have it both ways.
That was the point of the post. OP was being used by the mom and daughter duo for 10 years. Then, he realizes it. So, he tells them to fuck off.
It was his GF. You don't need a lawyer for breaking up with a GF.
You may depending on the circumstances of your relationship.
True. Common-law marriage is in place in some states.
If they have lived together for many years and the move out is not amicable, you could easily end up litigating over that as well, married or not.
Yup. My friend was fucked up the ass by squatter's rights laws in CA. He was paying the full rent, she was just mooching off him, they broke up, he couldn't kick her out. He didn't want to just lift her and chuck her shit out because he rightfully knew that could land him in jail. Eventually the landlord couldn't evict her so they had to take it to court, which ruled that she had "squatters rights" for 60 more days there. He had to just deal with it and pay 2 more months of rent himself, even though the landlord had a candidate to move in and replace her, which would help him with rent.
He eventually couldn't be in the same place as her and his landlord offered him his couch (they were bros). After the 60 months, she racked up 1200$ worth of damages to the apartment because she didn't give a fuck, then jetted. Luckily the landlord was well off and could afford a great lawyer, and she was sued for the damages + court fees. She of course, disappeared and we couldn't figure out how to garnish her wages or anything, since she didn't do shit. The two of them + the lawyer tracked down her parents, explained the entire situation, and the dad shrugs and says "Yeah. Sounds like something she would do. Here's a check for the lost rent and the damages. This whole time I was sending her 1.5k a month for rent and groceries, she told me she was paying for it..."
*garnish her wages
6 months of living with someone in my country.
To be fair, he was unaware of the real dad making a surprise guest appearance in order to sweep what little respect they had for him away. It was the last straw and he snapped.
Heroism > Money
Whats with all this expensive marriage shit?
I've heard Americans will load their asses with debt for a stupid, 50% odds of going well ceremony.
Is it a thing there, or just that the ones I hear about stand out?
28.4k is the 2012 average, which is insane
http://money.cnn.com/2013/03/10/pf/wedding-cost/index.html
Women demand these costly marriages. They have no sense of finance or value. For a lot of these marriages the groom isnt even important. ... he s just the chump she settled for.
Yeah, it's insane. All you need for a wedding that everyone remembers is a decent buffet and an open bar.
Never understood this as well.
In the times when i still considered getting married somewhere in the future i would always see the two of us on a beach somewhere in french polynesia with only people around us who paid for their tickets and their hotel rooms by themselfs.
In Germany though it is not that common for parents to pay for your wedding.
I've never met you and I only have your side of this.
BUT
GOOD FOR YOU.
"So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh."
I think the OP not only saved the remainder of his money but his life.
Wouldn't put it past the vampires to "arrange" his premature demise-
You are a fuckin boss. This story is everywhere- Reddit is the 3rd place I've seen it. I'd type in hell yeah 10 times in all caps but you get the point. Line in the sand, you crossed it, now GTFO. Single moms and their offspring are the biggest abusers of men. They take advantage of our nobility- our willingness to support, provide, and help. We want to help the damsel in distress and her daughter who now lacks a father. But they don't reciprocate. They are an exaggerated version of all women, with an enlarged Hamster.
To all the lurker twats: your bullshit games are coming to an end.
Oh that was a gloriously beautiful wakeup call. I wish my RP testimony was equal to this one.
I would love to see an index on the side bar of "red pill moments" like this.
First rule of women + money is that you never join accounts till you are married. And you can swap this with money + men if you want. Men are capable of being petty too, and situations where a relationship goes south and it's the woman who's got the financial leverage are becoming more common.
Second rule of money and women is that you never give her access to your accounts. Period. This ain't about being nice, its about a woman with an addictive personality and a preference to gambling getting access to your 401k and blowing it on risky investments.
Third rule is that you have money set aside in an account she will never know about. It can be as little as 1,000 bucks or 100,000. It should be enough to keep you afloat with little financial stress for anywhere from 3 months to a year, depending on your line of work and how long it can take to get a new job. You have to assume she's going to trump charges against you that aren't real, which gets you fired from your job even if you're acquitted. Or just that she shit talks her way into getting you fired.
Fourth? Assuming you do merge accounts never put all your eggs in one basket. If you ever divorce or break up you can assume that within a day any shared accounts will be completely empty.
YOU MY HERO, BRO! FUCK YA!
You're not an asshole for protecting your assets from a manipulative, vindictive and cruel woman like that.
I've seen this story so many times, and every time I read it, it brings me much joy.
Even though he did fork out $40k for tuition for the awful daughter, it is rare to see true justice like this in the world.
Source?
It's one of the topmost upvoted stories in /r/offmychest.
This guy deserves all of my karma. Whatever you need bro. Fuck the xgf and daughter.
i like happy endings
Feel-good story of the year.
Important lesson is: You shall react to bad stuff BEFORE it escalates to huge dramas like this one above.
Okay, I'm going to play the devil's advocate here: you teach people how you want to be treated. If you act like an ATM that's all you'll ever be to them. Money is no substitute for other things also that may have been lacking on that relationship either.
Now at that point, breaking up and refusing to pay up seems like a better choice that whatever this guy was doing until then.
three cheers for this man :)
Speechless with a huge grin on my face. Bravo my friend, bravo.
I love this story so much
I hope he took his friends out for a good time on the day of the wedding - he's saved $40k* afterall, that's worth celebrating
You forgot the "k"
Thanks
Good move man, sorry this happened to you.
Good on this guy. Man, does that red pill moment hurt. I can think of few things that hurt worse than the red pill moment that makes a man see everything clearly, and they're all physical.
But it's worth it.
Anyone else feel a strange sense of relief after, hell, even during that painful moment?
Good job op, fuck them both
i just got a raging erection
I got a massive boner reading that.
Prevention is the best medicine, but treatment makes for a much better story
Standing ovation. Slow, deliberate clapping.
The RP is extremely bitter. It never gets less so. But it's the most healthy pill a self-respecting male can take. So we do it.
Take it as soon as you can. With the $40k that this man WASTED, you can instead live like a king for FOUR YEARS -- without working -- in a nice tropical country fucking lots of young, hot women bareback.
That said, it is never too late to take it.
His "girlfriend" wanted a beta. Make no mistake -- him swallowing the RP didn't suddenly make him an alpha superstud. No, his "girl" left him.
But that's ok, because some women WANT a beta provider. But, as he clearly demonstrated, that is not in ANY man's best interest.
The scariest and most amazing part of this story? The cuckolding bitch moving in with the NEW groom. Is that what he was hoping for with the expensive wedding?
Again -- why get married? To be the beta of a bitch who learned from her cuckolding mother and wanted her "real" "alpha" felon half-man "dad" there?
tell me more about this plan.
I agree, that was exactly what I was going to say.
He wasn't cuckolded - thats when your wife pretends someone else's bastard is yours. And the groom they moved in with is the daughter's husband. Ha! Poor bastard now has poisonous, gold digging MIL under his own roof. Wold it be nice if he learned something form the OP and thew the two of them out, too?
You understand what I meant.
That's what we're all about, man.
I think I just went gay. For this dude only.
I can't imagine how I would have felt in his position and I don't think I would have been able to handle it as smoothly as he did. Not even the bride was on his side. Congratulations on getting out (to the original guy).
I hope that I never have to find out. I think that he let them off too easily. Much much too easily.
I remember this guy. Hope he turned out alright.
Link to original post?
That was very inspirational. Way to show people how not to be treated as a tool.
I am impressed that he was able to hold on to his nuts in this one. Good job.
Atta' boy.
Bravo!
Oh man.. That is the greatest thing on the internet all day. Thank you for the smiles.
Fucking beautiful, hope this guys much happier now he deserves it.
Dude you are in the right, fuck the two of them. Goes to show you, as a man you can't do things right.
GOOD ON YOU, this whole thing. You have more than done your "part", way more. Enjoy your brews and post if you need something.
I cant believe people let others use them like that! Damn! I m so terrible sad :( what has happen to my fellow men :(
Seriously who the fuck sends an "announcement" to someone they aren't actually inviting?
People used to put it in the newspapers.
What's your occupation? Sounds like a pretty solid one. Just curious.
Hey mate - I wasn't the original poster, I pulled it from another sub, but we're not allowed to link here. If you're new to TRP make sure you're checking the recommended reads in the sidebar.
I'm currently on mobile but thank you. Will do.
I think his balls just dropped.
This story put a bigger smile on my face than my future son's birth.
This was amazing! I have just started to understand the red pill, and you sir are a hero. Hope life is treating you well, and you are enjoying the kind of life you deserve!
Welcome back to manhood brother! It took you a while but definitely better late than never! Your story literally filled me with joy
Nice story. Source?
Because citation.
You, sir, are worthy of respect. It can't have been easy, but yes, if they were even a bit considerate one thing might have slipped, but not all of that. They just couldn't give a small shit about you.
Therefore you were not selfish, merely correct and timely.
Is it not selfish to get 250 people but not the 20 you care about? Or - everything else.
From the way she's idealized him, your GF may be still hankering for the old flame, who perhaps is kinda alpha considering the deal he got from her. If he was the "scumbag who abandoned us" she'd not have let her daughter make it all about him... maybe somebody had a dream of leading their daughter together down the aisle.
Brilliant speech sir.
I'm glad he finally woke up but they used him for a long time. So much so that's probably not even that heartbreaking to them. More of a "Damn this sucks but we sure got a lot while it lasted" attitude.
Sounds like he has a good job and makes good money. If I were him I would do my best to make sure she doesn't get a good job and never puts to use that degree I paid for.
Considering the typical women of such a scenario, I got a feeling that even if he didn't fuck with her, she still couldn't get a good job with her likely useless liberal arts degree.
To have gotten into that dreadful situation, he was definitely beta for far longer than 10 years. But of course, better late than never.
I love you. So much.
You went from a guy we would be laughing at for weeks to one we can respect in just a few short paragraphs.
I only want you to do one thing for me now: Enjoy the rest of your life. Make those ingrates understand exactly what they just lost. And never let this shit happen again. If you can afford to buy them cars, and pay for their school, etc etc etc, you can afford to take some time off and find a real god damn woman, and not any of these filthy gold digging whores it has been your displeasure to be stuck with.
Edit: Lolreading. Who was the original poster so I can forward this to whom it belongs?
Hey mate. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to link directly due to sub rules. godzilla_moon
congrats
I had not seen this post yet, thank you for the smile to start off the day
maaaaa nigggguhhhhhh daps
your a great guy, I would have just came back with a shotgun.
This summaries the totality of my fears as a step-dad.
It will suck, but I will expect the brattiness (Already in full swing at age 9).
I will expect her to as a teenager say "you're not my real dad!"
I will expect her to rebel hard, probably be a bitchy/skanky/slut etc. Daddy issues, hunting down her criminal dead-beat dad, otherwise choices etc.
But this, THIS, the utter disrespect! I hope if such an hour comes to pass, I will be so articulate, so bold.
DAMN!
Oh my god. That moving of money was a stroke of genius.
I am new to RP. First things first, I agree with 100% with what OP has done.
I have some honest questions though: Why not tell your wife right after you found out the fucked up invitations? "I really want these people to come." Tell her what you saw through her deception: that it was an announcement, you were ignored and disrespected. Then, to confirm, contact the venue yourself to make sure these people got seats.
I anticipate this would lead to an argument where the GF has room for argument-kungfu. But why didn't he communicate?
probably was giving them the benefit of the doubt, as he was paying for all their shit. He was blue pillin it, thinking that anyone who received a favor from someone they cared about or respected wouldn't take a steaming dump on his chest when it came to what he wanted.
in the midst of what george carlin called "the pussification of the american male," it pumps me up to see a man find his testicles in the most baller of fashion. cheers bro.
[permanently deleted]
Anyway, it'd be like sticking your dick in a dumpster.
[permanently deleted]
You sound like one of those losers that claim it wasn't about the money, but want nothing but money in the divorce.
/r/thathappened
Ogden Wernstrom says STFU and go back to thebluepill.
Dudes a selfish entitled narcissitic prick. These days are about the daughter and what she wants. If the stepdad wants to respond based on that fine, but this impotent rage of expecting her love since he supported her, and going on a rage when she doesnt with his only recourse being publicly pulling out entirely and not first having a sit down to discuss his feelings is telling. He hasnt swallowed the pill. He hasnt changed. He only exploded when his impotency was aired publicly not in the many month buildup of disrespect. All he did was simply show us his price... 20 people at a wedding, not publicly being called out as an ATM, and being able to give his stepdaughter away. And imo, only the public ATM part is a dealbreaker. Now hell just find another single mom who will give him the price.
You are being sarcastic, yes?
No Im not. If there wasnt this public toast would he still have paid? Id bet on it. So its not that he stopped being a provider. Hes just scared of others thinking hes a provider which led to a public denouncement and rage. Classic narcissism. Now onto the next single mom and hopefully her cunt of a daughter can keep quiet when he pays for her wedding. Maybe she can even pretend to love him. He'll spend a ton of money and 'deserves' it
There seems to be a misunderstanding. We are not saying he is a candidate for alpha male of the year. He was a ten year beta bucks - like head over heels drowning in the BP. For a man like that to assert himself and cut off the leeches in his life is a big deal. It is selfish - its the first selfish thing he's probably done in 10 years, and that is why it is good. Calling him selfish / narcissistic / egotistical as an insult misses the point; the point was he NEEDED to be more of these things for 10 years.
We all have done bad things and been on a bad path, and only woke up from it when there was a jarring, humiliating rock bottom experience. Most betas for example will only assert themselves and focus on not being a bitch when their GF cheats on them or whatever. They need that extra humiliation / pain to provide the impetus to get off their ass and face what they have become. I don't see why you're bashing this guy for needing a really big, close-to-the-heart humiliation, like a girl you viewed as your daughter treating you like an obnoxious mosquito that happens to have a wallet, to wake up. The more beta you are, the bigger jarring you will need to wake up. The more painful and humiliating red pills are often required for these type of guys.
Would he have paid if there wasn't a public toast? Who knows. He had been pushed to the breaking point by several issues. I think the bigger issue was that she didn't think of him as a father figure, and wanted her bio deadbeat dad to do it. I'd guess that if this public toast hadn't happened, later on he would have flipped about something else related to that. You can't just say that he only did it because he was afraid of people thinking he was a bitch.
No one is suggesting this guy is a role model. You are right in that if these two bitches had been a bit smarter, given him his 20 people, made him feel like a proud beta dad, he would have shelled the 50k on them. But for someone who is so beta, something like this does represent a pretty big personal victory, and I would imagine that he learned enough from it to not be some other single mom's beta bucks a few months later.
That's one reading. And I totally see where a reasonable person could surmise that. But look at the edits!
This isn't some dude who hit rock bottom and came to a realization. He continues to feel entitled to attention, waiting all night in his office all night for a knock like a drama queen. Rationalizing that he didn't agree to pay for the wedding rather than put his foot down and say I'm not paying because of x,y, or z. And when these women walk over him again and take their belongings that aren't theirs, he's fine with it rather than sticking his foot down and not letting them walk all over him and steal his stuff.
More likely, this is a classic narcissist who got outed publicly, went into a rage to save his image, and continues in the needy provider role.
Doesn't sound like he exploded to me.
Lol tantrum much ;-)