So I'll try and make this short to avoid clutter, ask for more details if you need it. I had a total BP upbringing, maybe even autistic to some degree, and I have gotten REALLY BAD oneitis as far back as I can remember (which is apparently a thing for autistic people). I can barely remember a moment in my life where this one "perfect woman" wasn't on my mind for YEARS at a time. I'm 24 and I've gone through about about 6 of these girls in my 24 year old life. I went from outright creepy/stalkerish when I was a kid, to desperate and weird, to needy and clingy, to romantic and overly pining. So I've watered it down a lot over my lifetime but it seriously impedes my ability to find a new partner.

I'm not going to filter my line of thought, so as to leave it open for criticism. Sorry if it's a hard read. If you read it all and give me your thoughts, I swear I'll try and help you out to whatever post you ping me to on this sub.

Some (textbook) examples of my oneitis:

-Multiple years long ones that are not worth talking about, you know the drill.

-I pined over this girl I met in uni for the WHOLE TIME I WAS THERE and she was deliberately leading me on

-When I finally told her to leave me alone I found my first GF and lay only a month later. (wow!)

-We were together for 4 months before she left for her country again. We've been in contact for YEARS and occasionally in the past my oneitis triggers for her. She's my only confidant and closest friend so I'm worried about letting her go entirely. Now though, I think I've let go of my oneitis for her for good while being her friend still (A first!)

However, I've noticed my thundering oneitis trying to strike again...

I have recently written off girls out of my league, and have been practicing "abundance mentality". I've recently stopped being a shut in, became somewhat wealthy, and luckily I'm pretty good looking so I have had success just hitting on random girls and getting their numbers pretty easily. Or just hitting on them for fun and they love it. This is a first and is a major confidence boost. I've been thinking of "spinning plates" but first I'm trying to master nofap as I have years long ED due to excessive porn and fapping.

The problem

But there's this girl I met and.. it's bad already. We play sports together but she's in my sports league in another team. She has the exact extreme hourglass body type I like and a beautiful face. She comes with a guy who may be her boyfriend or brother (they look a lot alike) I wrote her off swearing to stop pining for girls out of my league.. but one day I kind of dropped in on her team while she was speaking to them and she completely fucked up and just stopped mid sentence to say "Hey!!" to me but it was really out of place. She was sputtering like as if I was a Chad or something and even forgot what she was saying to her team. I didn't even say anything except "hey" because I was shocked (trying to hold frame too) and her teammate just picked up where she left off. Later she kinda yelled "nice to meet you!" as she walked out even though we only exchanged hellos awkwardly.

Weird but she kinda seemed infatuated with me and that MAJORLY triggered my oneitis for her. I get butterflies when I think about it and I'm 24.. and I may have just misread the whole damn thing and that dude may be her boyfriend.

I just went from maybe thinking of spinning plates to having a scarcity/beta mentality over a TWO WORD conversation and I'm frustrated as hell. Even if she does like me my beta billy and obsessive oneitis attitude will kill it if I let it shine

Does anyone else deal with this... or has fixed this problem in the past for themselves.. What should I do to stay on course and mitigate the potential of repeating past tendencies?