TL;DR – Got dumped by a girl after a 4+ year long distance, long term relationship. Situation sucked. Can’t stop thinking about her even though I know the girl was emotionally uninvested in the relationship by the time we broke up and never cared about me as much as I did about her. Need advice on how to move the fuck on with my life. Story down below.

So I just got out of a 4+ year long distance, long term relationship and I need some advice about some things from trp. About three months ago I went to go visit the girl for two weeks as she lived in a different province than I did (I live in Canada). Two weeks prior to me showing up I had a very long conversation with her about what I felt was wrong in the relationship and that if things hadn't changed, maybe it would be better if we weren't together. At the time, she said that she was sad and she was sorry that she had hurt me and hopefully we could work things out.

Fast forward two weeks, I fly over to go see her and that’s where things got weird. The entire time I was there it was a roller coaster of emotions and stress. Her parents rented this sweet pad for me to stay at for a few days, so naturally she came over so we could have “quality time” together. We started fighting and that’s when she brought up the idea of us taking a “break”. At the time, I was adamantly against taking a break because of “how much I loved her” and I didn’t want to “lose her”. Keep in mind this is only one day after I got to her city. We never finish the conversation and she ends up convincing me to have sex with her (first mistake as it clouded my judgement on the whole situation). The rest of the trip was horrible. This girl could barely look me in the eyes, would not even acknowledge me or my presence, and almost seemed like I was a burden for her. And part of me thought that she had already stopped loving me at that point, but I was too blinded by my feelings to see otherwise. However, we also had a pregnancy scare while I was down there so I’m not too upset about that.

While this is all happening my mind is reeling. I can’t even be happy about my trip because I was so scared about the fact that this girl was going to break up with me. I had spent 4+ years building my life around this girl so not only was she my oneitis, but she was also my whole world (at the time). I recognize that it was incredibly unhealthy but at the time I was acting like your typical blue pill beta and I didn’t know any better. This whole situation reduced me to a shell of my former self. I had been incredibly indecisive, was trying everything possible to get this girl to talk to me, and cried multiple times among other embarrassing behaviour that I would not like to relive. Anyways, the trip ends after one of the most emotional two weeks of my life. We go on a “break” but we were still talking everyday. After a few weeks, I told her that I couldn’t keep on talking to her because it was making it hard for me to move on. She cries but she says she understands. She calls my mom the next day because she was “so worried about me” which made this exponentially worse. She told me that she wanted to talk a few days after that, so me being the naïve man that I was decided to call her. We talked for two hours, but I stand firm in my decision to not talk to her. I told her that I felt disrespected and I couldn’t “keep the lines of communication open” as I needed “time to heal”. She says she understands and leaves me alone after that. About a month after that all happened, my mom texts her because she wanted her to know that even though we broke up, she wasn’t mad at her. Me, still being the naïve man that I was listened to my mom when she said “you should text her and see how she’s doing”, so I do just that. I sent her a somewhat vague text which basically said that “I was good” and if she “ever wanted to hit me up she knew where I was at”. It took her a week to respond which was fairly cold and disinterested, so I assumed she didn’t want to talk to me. So, I didn’t respond and left it at that. Anyways, even though it’s been over a month since that happened and over three months since we broke up, I still can’t stop thinking about her and it’s driving me insane. I had a severe case of oneitis and I don’t know what to do. I just want to move on with my life. It was clear to me that this girl didn’t respect me or truly love me, but I was a BB so I understand why. I’m still not entirely sure about my decision to cut her off or not respond, but I think that’s my blue pill beta mindset talking. So to all the guys out there, what would you recommend?