Context: I've been a student of the red pill and pickup for nearly a decade. When I started, I had no game whatsoever and learned pickup. This led to some success. Then I met a woman, who, through googling had brought me here and the rest is history. Fast forward several years and I've got a great career in sales making close to $100K/year, have my own vehicle & apartment, and do actually have the Adonis body most men are going for (6'0, 215 lbs lean - bodybuilder/MMA fighter). I'm currently 28 years old.

In addition, I've recently become the Director of a growing initiative in my city and started my own firm with several other top-performing, seasoned salespeople who've hit the near millions. Everything I own is tailored, and I'd say I dress like Tom Hardy meets Johnny Depp. I play the guitar, and practically any other stringed instrument.

With respect to temperament, my coworkers described me as a "bull in a china shop" or "the bulldozer." I am ruthlessly straight-forward, aggressive, speak off the cuff, and have no difficulty ruffling most people's feathers and staring them in the eye as I do it. God bless FBI-negotiation & body language training. I cannot recall the last time I was concerned by my actions. This level of aggression has allowed me to have some unbelievable experiences with women & in business. On any given day, I can send a text/Instagram or open up Tinder and have a higher quality woman in my presence within 48 hours.

The Girlfriend: Given the above "bragging", I'm going to get torn (rightfully so) apart for this post. I have a girlfriend, 22 years old and gorgeous. She's a tremendous human being. Raised by both European parents; embodies old-school values. She's an engineer (recently graduated) for a technology company; one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. Watching her in her element is like watching Jimi Hendrix play guitar. Her family is very tight-knit. They came from poverty, and her father is a real-estate god. They're very wealthy and affluent.

They have several vacation homes, cars etc. Her mother is stunning as well, at 55 years old. She works for everything and has refused to take any money from her parents. She is highly intelligent with her finances, invests, and doesn't buy stupid shit. She works out with me every morning at 5 am. I got her an in with the company she works for now, they said no, she literally negotiated with them and got the job. She bakes for me. She cooks for me. She wears lingerie, and we have awesome sex. She learns new tricks. She respects me so much that she's accommodating to all of my asks. She's practically everything anyone here would ever want in a woman. And yet, it's like she's too good for me.

The Past: There was a woman (I mentioned in the first paragraph) that brought me here. You could call her the one that got away. She and I have been friends for over a decade, and we've got the same birthday. She used to be my wingman in college and oversaw my domination of the sexual market as I grew. We've crossed the friendship boundary a few times, but never really dated because we're both dominant as fuck (she destroys men), I was a beta (couldn't deal with her shit-tests a few years back) and my SMV was shit the last time we tried to make things work. In addition, we've both got egos.

Historically, we got into it 4 years ago, and I took a job in her city. Shortly thereafter, I started hanging out with other women in the area because she wasn't meeting my requirements in a woman - and said it didn't bother her if I hooked up with other women. She had a trip planned to Europe with her family and eventually, I discovered that her ex-bf had met up with her at some point. I ghosted her, never looked back. We didn't speak for years.

In the last 2 years; she and I have once again been really close friends (in our own respective relationships), it's been entirely de-polarized. All was great between us. Until now.

Now: 10 months ago, she and I spent a period of time chatting on the phone (almost daily, platonic) and I discovered some inconsistencies in her perfect relationship. Red flags, so to speak. She brushed them off. Eventually, it imploded and I was right. She was being cheated on. I watched her basically go through what I went through with her, and saw her getting broken down to the darkest place she's ever been. Since then, she's grown tremendously. Not to mention, hearing her speak about this boyfriend, it was evident she's matured substantially from the confrontational, dominant woman she used to be. We continued orbiting one another for months until we made the decision to take a hush-hush trip together. I was on "business". We predicated that trip to be "finding out if there's anything between us besides just distance & fantasy".

We fucked each other's brains out for days (she hadn't had sex in almost a year), embraced everything between the two of us, and I had one of the best times of my life with this girl. She also had a great time, as she's been blowing me up since we left. It's the first time I've ever been unfaithful to a girlfriend. She and I live thousands of miles away from each other.

The Issue: I've got this awesome woman with me today, and she's so damned good to me that I cannot feel that challenge that hunters need. I thrive on the chase. The other one and I have decided to take another trip sometime in the coming months together to let this thing slowly develop. She knows I'm bored in my relationship but satisfied.

I've asked her how she's feeling about me having a girlfriend in the meantime given that there's clearly something here between us. She replied that with anyone else, it would piss her off, but because we've known each other so long, seen all the other women through the years and she knows my sexual appetite - it somehow doesn't bother her. She's basically giving me a free pass to do whatever I want until/if we decided to make this a real relationship (which means logistics come into play). In addition, I've known this girl for decades. She takes at least 6 months to sleep with someone (she's one of those weirdos that doesn't get physically attracted to anyone except people she's known forever and has a mental connection with). I swear to god, I'm not making this up or blowing fairy-dust at you. I used to bust her balls relentlessly for not fucking the dudes she would date. Bottom Line: we have some kind of connection due to our history and depth of relationship that I can't shake. I cannot seem to prioritize my girlfriend with this girl in the picture. I can tell which way my heart/mind is swinging.

The other issue is going to be that she's going to continue to explore her options in the meantime, as we try to develop this thing further. Either she's using these chumps as time-hoes or something real could manifest out of it. This has revealed a chink in my outcome independence. Gentleman, it seems oneitis has made its way back into my head DESPITE the fact that I could have anything I wanted, and have top-tier sitting at home. What. The. Flying. Fuck.

For the last few days, she's started to pull back, less texting and calling. I called her today to discuss this change, and she got somewhat annoyed with me saying "every time you spend a weekend with your girlfriend, it seems you come back and are unsure of where I'm at. I haven't changed my mind at all. You seem to be the one changing your mind about me every time this comes up." The inconsistency in her behavior, lack of structure, and general care-free attitude of hers is throwing me off.

TLDR: After years of growing into a top-tier man thanks to TRP, I've got an amazing girlfriend, who's everything I want in a woman, and yet, I'm bored. The one that got away came back (I conquered her) but now it's triggering my inner-beta, playing with my ability to be outcome independent, revealing my insecurities, and putting me in a position where I want to chase. She's verbalized that what she wants is "nothing less, and nothing more than we have right now" and that "she's concerned that she won't be able to make things happen with me as fast as I'd like her to". The lack of ability on my end to influence her decision (long distance) makes me feel powerless and there's no way I'm sending random gifts & shit. The difficulty is that she's telling the truth. I know her well enough to know that she's telling the truth. She does want to see where this could end up, but it's going to be a slow game given the geographical differences and her speed of trust. She mentioned that she's concerned about a long term future with me, as, if we have a communication breakdown (aka she doesn't do her womenly duties) I'll wander to someone else, not tell her about it etc. She knows I'll come back, however, doesn't trust she'll know the truth.

She's the side-chick to my girlfriend, and I'm emotionally invested in the side-chick. The side-chick won't give me 100% as long as I have a girlfriend, and I won't break up with my girlfriend until I see that's she's serious about this. FML.