I am reading Tomassi's book the Rational Male and he makes the same point Athol Kay makes in MMSL and MAP that you can absolutely NOT, no way, no how, negotiate desire. You cannot talk your way into your LTR wanting to fuck you because the gina tingles depend on emotion, not logic.

This is irrefutable but I may have discovered a way out (or should I say a way IN) that little box. While you cannot "negotiate" or "logic" your way to desire in a woman, in some circumstances I believe you can compel or command it. Yes, I said compel or command it, lets discuss it.

Like "Stage 4" from the Managed Attraction Plan (wherein you demand that your vampire begin treating you "better" or else...) I believe you can "demand" that your LTR begin fucking you with real desire on a regular basis...or else.

I know it sounds radical and direct but remember the following facts:

  1. Women respond to dominance, usually by becoming more submissive.

  2. Women respond to Alpha behavior with sexual attraction.

  3. One of the most Alpha behaviors of them all is to be constantly escalating to sex.

By laying down the law with your woman and establishing reasonable limits on the amount of sex that you, the man, MUST have in order to remain in the relationship you make her more submissive and more sexually attracted to you at the same time. By fucking her more you inject her with testosterone and cause her body to produce a plethora of bonding and sexual charging chemicals. By establishing a limit you also disarm her "denial" nuclear weapon which makes her considerably more submissive. When you start getting the sex you need it improves your frame immeasurably, makes you even more dominate and Alpha- a lot more- and triggers even more sexual response from the woman.

In any new relationship I think it is critical that you establish these specific parameters (i.e. your sex frequency requirements). In a recently unplugged RP man in a LTR I think it is also critical that you establish these parameters as soon as you have improved yourself to the point your SO is starting to ask what is going on. I believe that is when you hit her with the hard dread and make your demands.

In my case I went RP and started crushing the weights. I lost 25 pounds by losing about 55 pounds of fat and gaining 30 pounds of muscle. I got a better job and started giving the family only positive energy. I took charge of several household chores. I studied and learned game and started flirting with hot girls in front of her. Then when my SMV soared past hers and she asked me what the hell I was doing (after I flirted with a waitress much to her annoyance) I told her very clearly I was going to have a wife very soon that wanted to fuck me at least twice a week and the only thing she had to decide was whether that wife was going to be her or another woman. She cried and promised that she would do what she could to make it work.

That was all it took for my marriage and it is the reason marriage counselors often recommend the couple start having sex more, even if they don't feeeeeeel like it. It may be 'fake it until you make it' but in my case the comfort of knowing there is a fairly small time limit (5 days is my hard limit) and this greatly strengthens my frame and lets me handle sexual denials with equanimity, love and consideration.

In short, I object to the common manosphere claim that the man must somehow change everything in his life and devote himself to sexually attracting his wife and then wait for his wife to respond. I think more men need to take charge and demand their conjugal rights. We have accepted the woman's frame for to long. Marriage is an agreement to be sexually exclusive IN RETURN FOR at least minimal sexual satisfaction. I decided I was going to enforce that contract AND I was obviously capable and willing to break it if my demands were not met.

I really think many married men don't push hard enough on this issue. I think many women would respond favorably after crying the usual: "But I don't feeeeeel like having sex" if the man said "well I do" and started escalating rapidly.

Please realize this is not advice- or if it is it might be like giving a cannon to a schoolboy and a recipe for divorce.

Thoughts?