This is a very existential and philosophical question for the older generation of men.

I'm 18 and I'm at the most difficult time in my life (yet), the existential dread and uncertainty is so strong that sometimes becomes unbearable. Being a kid is so easy: full of innocence with a head full of dreams and flying colors until reality hits you like a fucking train at full speed.

Life is going so fucking fast that it sends me into a deep melancholy, people around me are leaving this life, people around me are leaving my life, I lost almost all my friends after highschool, my sister just got engaged and left home and my dad left to the other side of the country for work, now it's just my mother and me. I miss my family. My home feels cold and empty. I'm feeling a kind of loneliness that partying and bitches can't fill.

The future is fucking terrifying and uncertain. I've made the conscious decision of not getting married ever in my life, I don't want some crazy bitch to leave with my children and my money, but now what does that even mean for my future? Will I be a miserable lonely rich man for the rest of my life? Yeah, I could still get pussy, but what should I do when fucking an HB8 becomes just as meaningless and ordinary as taking a piss? Don't believe me? Just look at all those celebrities and powerful people that have everything and yet they are still miserable.

I don't want to be a slave to the pussy, to money, to anything.

Work, make money, lift, bust a nut, repeat... and then what? I know the question is confusing, but is this stuff meant to bring meaning and true happiness to my life? I think I'm missing something, I want to think that I'm missing something, because if there is nothing, I don't know what the fuck I will do.

Help me, I'm just a melancholic guy transitioning into adulthood without a single clue of what the fuck is going on and scared of living a miserable and lonely life.