Well, that's gonna be the long post because to make you understand everything I have to share whole story.

I'm 20 years old. Living in Poland. Also have younger brother, he's 15. The situation in my life, family, is fucked up so much, that sometimes I can't believe how much bad luck one person can have.

The problems started when I was around 13. That's when my mother somehow started drinking. I don't know what caused her fall into alcoholism but that's how it is. Because of that she became pretty unfair to my dad, which combined with zero knowledge and fake confidence, made him fall into so fucking big debt that it's so fucked up. Going forward the problems were rising in power, same with toxic atmosphere in home, which made the house almost unable to live in.

First, the house is in ruin, almost everything is broken, and it won't be repaired because of no money. Well my parents had jobs. Had. Because my mother lost her of course, when they realized she's a drinker, and my dad left the job to get money from leaving 'as it would help at least a little' and now he's on pension, lower than salary he was getting, and it's cut to half because of his debt. It's been 2 years now, when they are both jobless. Mom doesn't care about anything else than drinking and smoking, so all money she somehow gets she spends on that. And yeah, both my parents are chain smokers, when I was around 15 dad started getting some changes in mouth, it was diagnosed as leukoplakia, which could be followed with cancer, but of course 'it couldn't happen to me'. Of course my dad has cancer now.

About my brother, while probably he wouldn't become as he is right now if all the shit didn't happen, now he's the biggest terrorist in this home. He has no respect to anyone, being brutal both physically and verbally, and totally careless. He has some stupid self-development mambo-jambo going on right now, currently, as he has holidays, he is into fucking polyphasic sleep, which means, that he sleeps like 20 minutes, but 8 times a day, which for me means, a lot of fucking alarms, of course for every one it has to ring at least 3 times because he won't wake up at first try. All these alarms wake me up, since we share a room, and he doesn't care that I want to sleep, he switches on light, and I can't really do much about it, because if I try to switch it off, he would switch it on as soon as I'm back to bad. If we would make argument it would end in him yelling at 3 am which wouldn't help. I guess punching his face isn't the best way to solve the problem. As you can probably imagine because of that I developed sleeping disorders, so it's hard to me to fall asleep, and when he wakes me up it takes another time to fall asleep again, just to wake up in 60 minutes later. Because of that I sleep around 3 hours a day, so I'm basically walking zombie.

Well, in terms of my mom the thing is obvious, there is no possibility I could count on her, but my dad frankly could probably change a lot, but he doesn't, he literally said me to not count on him, when I tried numerous times to discuss thing with him, all he does is playing chess online for whole day or reading news, and he 'does the lunch' but that's uneatable, because he hates cooking and he literally cries how 'he can't tell with all that'. And this is fucking 55 year old man.

Now my life looks like, I'm on college, so I have to go to university, study for school, also I work after hours to have at least a little bit of my own money. That takes me most of my time, then I try to rest, but it looks like how I said it does. I basically have no things in my life that aren't things I do to 'survive'. Yes, I have lots of awesome friends, if not them I probably wouldn't be alive. But all'n'all they are also my age, I can't count on them to do some miracles. In terms of other family members, I can't count on them too. They have they own lifes and basically separated from us in every way possible. I kind of understand why, well, our family is pretty fucked up as you can see.

So I'm here looking for an advise because, seriously, I'm starting to lose hope. I feel so destroyed, my life is pure pain right now. The only things keeping me with that are as I said my friends, and hope for the better life.

The thing I know for sure - I have to start a new life, without my family. They destroyed my life, I hate them all and I don't care about them at all anymore. I want to have my own life that doesn't involve them. What would you advise me to do, deal with that? Please don't suggest some governmental shit, I tried everything. The system is so fucked up that it would take 30 years to make them actually make something. Waste of time. Also, do you have any questions? That all is so complicated that probably I missed something. I will be so grateful for any kind of help.