Dealing with a woman professor giving me shit?

ReddicaCrackhead · 2013-10-25T15:38:30+00:00

Unfortunatley dealing with professors means you sometimes have to choose between keeping your dignity in exchange for a bad grade, or kissing ass for a shot at a good grade.

rbcrusaders · 2013-10-30T09:47:29+00:00

Here is the 101 on work/college situations that force you to supplicate or act beta:

Project the image that you need to succeed. That is all. Foolish people get caught up in this attitude of "I'm a X, and it wouldn't be authentic to be anything but X, even if it would mean winning." As Bruce Li said, be like water, be formless. Winning in this case means just keeping your radar down and getting the grade.

Just say "Hey, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. That wasn't my intention. I like this class and I'm doing my best to learn, I hope there is no misunderstanding." This is what I did when I worked for a female boss. When she was blaming me for something I did wrong, whether it was my fault or her fault or both, it was framed as a "misunderstanding". I kept it vague and as a result, 2-3 months down the line she could only remember that "one of us had made a misunderstanding".

Don't say "Sorry that I was being disrespectful." She hears 1) a fake apology and 2) it is concreted in her mind that you were disrespectful.

The best thing to do is neutral voice tone (if you are familiar with the concept of seeking rapport inflection, neutral, and breaking rapport). Trying to sound beta, or seeking rapport, aka high pitched apologetic type tone is not really what you want, as that can come across as fake. Breaking rapport is obviously a direct challenge to her authority. So do neutral tone. "Hi, we had a misunderstanding about X. I apologize if I came across as rude, I want you to know that I appreciate the opportunity to take this class."

riyuugonepro · 2013-10-25T16:29:32+00:00

Part of being a man is having a clear understanding of what your mission is and then working that mission regardless of tangential distractions.

Your mission in college is to get a degree. Do the things which best promote that mission. Don't do the things which interfere with your mission.

The right way to handle this professor is whatever way gets you the best grade.

2013-11-04T19:03:37+00:00

This can happen to a fake alpha, or a beta learning to be alpha. Some women are infuriated by a fake alpha, and try to cut his balls off. The thought of a confident, happy, and free man fills them with rage, likely because they can't attract one.

She probably saw you say or do something that set her off. The problem is you are not a real alpha yet, so you can't handle her, and she knows it. The power differential is also in play. If it is a math or science class that has objective grading, it's not that big of a deal if the professor likes you or hates you. But so many bullshit courses you have to take are simply based largely on the professor's opinion of you.

Very few people can wield power responsibly - they will always use it for their own selfish ends. Many times in life you will have to kiss the ass of someone simply because they have power over you, and they are willing to use it against you because they have been butthurt. Start practicing. Think of it as being an actor and this is a role you have to play.

Kim_Jung-Skill · 2013-10-25T16:16:31+00:00

said that I was looking at her and talking to her in an arrogant way.

Sometime we use gestures when we talk without even realizing it. Maybe you're coming across overly aggressive with the tone of voice combined with the gesturing.

classmates were also confused as shit by what she said.

well that kind of throws a wrench in my theory.

the professor asked to talk to me and basically said that I was looking at her and talking to her in an arrogant way

You asked for my opinion. I gave it to you. Would you have more respect for me if I simply mirrored your opinion. Because if that's what it takes to succeed in this class I'll need to reevaluate my position, as well as the value of this course.

Try starting off each of your responses with

"with all due respect..." "I see your point, but what do you think about <insert your statement>" "is this topic open for debate?"

edit: you could also say "that's not a look of arrogance, it's a look of confusion." You put the burden back on her to explain herself.

Future interactions with her begin with "I'm confused, but....." Thus reinforcing your position.

GaiusScaevolus · 2013-10-25T22:43:08+00:00

What subject? Out of curiousity.

2 real options:

Play the game and get out.
Fight the (wo)Man and take the hit to the GPA.

riyuugonepro · 2013-10-26T00:52:51+00:00

Sounds like she might be a feminist with an axe to grind. By apologizing (big mistake!), you might have given her the mistaken idea that her perception was correct. Only admit to having done wrong if it's actually the case, not because it is the path of least resistance. You're not paying these people good money to be failed by some chick with a grudge

I would talk to the department head, be nice. Explain the situation, that you don't know why she would think that you're arrogant. You feel that she might have a dominating personality and that others in the class side with you. That you're making a note of it to protect yourself from academic retaliation. Insist that she should have asked you about your feelings towards her and the the class. By asserting that you are arrogant without asking for your feelings is itself a display of arrogance solipsism and conceit.

tibeno37 · 2013-10-26T04:01:28+00:00

You pay for that class. This isn't highschool, she is employed partially by YOU. If she is giving you shit, go to the dean or the administrative office.

riyuugonepro · 2013-10-26T00:24:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JoeViturbo · 2013-10-26T12:40:13+00:00

This might not be very "Red Pill" but you can recruit fellow students who will back your account of what happened in class or at least agree with you that the teacher is acting strangely. That way, if it comes down to proving anything, it's more than just your word against hers. How are you being graded? If it's essays and class participation she will always be able to put her impression of you above the graded assignments. If it's a lot of multiple choice/short answer tests, she won't be able to hurt you without manipulating the grades. If you're worried she's trying to change your grade, get some proof, or a second opinion. If she's just a pain, suffer through it. Don't give her another reason to go off again but be prepared for when she does. Credentials: I've been in college for 9 years now. When I teach class, I try to remove all of my bias from the grading scheme because I know how fickle teachers can be, and how our impressions of an individual can shape how we perceive their actions/remarks.

2013-10-27T11:53:31+00:00

Once you have fully internalised Alpha you will realise that it does not matter what she thinks of you or even the rights and the wrongs of the situation. It may matter what your marks are.

She has the whip hand. Try flattery with an Alpha frame (this is the only sort that is accepted). Remain dignified. Let her have her power and let her be grateful for it.

Manuel_S · 2013-12-11T23:15:34+00:00

Play dumb, guy. That's just your body language. People say you take after your dad, maybe you're too inexpressive, does she think its an issue? Whatever.

Pat her fur, make her feel tranquil, get rid of her, find her daughter and bang her.

classicjimmy · 2013-12-24T06:03:34+00:00

Regardless of the situation. You have to have a clear set of goals. Is your goal to become a stronger man, or get an A in this class? Sometimes, you have to forgo one to get another. In the end, letting off one relationship in your life will not totally fuck you, but you need to keep a sense of frame and understand why actions that may seem like they're going against your larger goal of being a dominant alpha, are actually helping you get what you want, namely higher grades that will eventually land you a better job.

Anathem · 2014-01-04T08:43:04+00:00

You sound incredibly socially inept. Seek counseling.

2014-02-01T00:41:32+00:00

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1wj4e9/the_last_time_i_hit_a_woman/

Relevant to dealing with women in position of authority, and how understanding what women really are helps understanding why and how most male actions are ineffective ; basically they dont give a shit about truth, logic nor fairness (these are male abstractions), they only understand personal power and entitlement.

rbcrusaders · 2013-10-25T23:04:23+00:00

When you discuss with a woman on equal terms you always win if you keep your cool and use solid logic, but when a woman is in a "superior" position to you (Teacher, boss, even your mom) you have a great disadvantage because she has "power" over you.

Even in my beta days I never budged when confronting a woman like these and even felt pretty "alpha" by manning up and telling them to fuck of (expect to my mom ), but this was not alpha was being a beta all the way.

When you have an interaction like this with a woman you have to gain her, make her like you seduce them even, when you are in a clear stance where you can't possibly win (because even if you are right you are screwed) you don't fight to defeat your enemy, you make your enemy like you.

So what I did, and what you should do, is be nice to her, next time you see her, smile and go say hi, show her how much self value you have, and how confident of a man you are.

And never, NEVER show negative emotions when arguing with a woman, if you get emotional you loose, just like men are logic beings, women are emotional, and in an argument when a woman manages to make you emotional (angry/sad/etc) they win.

Nothing is scarier for a woman than a man who they can not move emotionally, remember that.

rbcrusaders · 2013-11-08T05:52:21+00:00

So today, at the end of the course, the professor asked to talk to me, and basically said that I was looking at her and talking to her in an arrogant way, which I wasn't. I may have a resting "bitch face" issue though. During the course, she also interrogated me, as well as the rest of the class, but even when I said the right answer, she persisted on telling me that I was wrong (My classmates were also confused as shit by what she said, both male ans female classmates )

this paragraph tells me that she may have thought you were talking back or purposefully giving her a hard time. you may not have been meaning to, but she could have thought it.

just apologize-sincerely. being a man isn't about being right, its about doing right.

Title	Dealing with a woman professor giving me shit?
Author	riyuugonepro
Upvotes	10
Comments	42
Date	October 25, 2013 3:34 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/becomeaman
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/becomeaman/comments/1p75jm/dealing_with_a_woman_professor_giving_me_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/becomeaman/dealing-with-a-woman-professor-giving-me-shit.137355 https://theredarchive.com/post/137355