How to change the mentality from complacently weak to mentally motivated?

strategos_autokrator · 2014-11-11T12:07:37+00:00

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" now. No excuses, go read it now.

Do the activities there. All of them.

Contact me if you need a safe person to discuss.

zudomo · 2014-11-25T16:01:00+00:00

I suffered through depression and all the advice was just start doing something (anything really, but preferrably something you have the slightest of interest in) and just start doing it. A little at a time.

I picked up the guitar and started learning how to cook, and reading again. I had the thought "It'd be nice if I could..." so I decided fine I'll try.

I didnt' buy a guitar at first. I just read a short article here or there and then my interest started to peak.

I know it seems so circular in the process or illogical.

"If you had motivation, you would do something but the problem is how to get motivation in order to do something"

But as you start to gain interest in it, you start to feel better, and then you will gain the motivation to do it more.

Starting is the hardest part. And when I first heard this, I dismissed it. I didn't think it would work. Took me years to finally say "What do I have to lose. I'll do it."

I suggest finding a hard skill that people admire vs a soft skill or skill that would be hard to produce in a social setting.

I can cook for friends and feel better that they say its good.

I can go outside, or with friends, and just play a few licks and get motivation there.

When I was young I read heavily, and knew a lot about literature. The problem was I didnt' put myself in situations where I could show case it.

You may not have the need to show case it. I do because I'm extremely introverted and being able to produce something tangible that most people can relate to and know about (Everyone likes good food, I know a bunch of classic riffs that everyone loves...except Wonderwall, I wont' do that lol).

But if a soft skill works for you personally, than don't discount that.

One reason I say a hard skills, is because soft skills tend to be debatable and cause for doubt. "Did I analyze that book correctly?" vs. "I made a good bench", you can't doubt that you made a bench

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have questions or want to hear my story or want to talk.

EDIT: Now I spend 2 hours after work cooking. I was telling my friends I was excited to go food shopping (I used to dread it). When I first started learning guitar I was practicing 3 hrs a day. And it all started with reading a small articles at first. (I may have gone overboard with the practicing, but I was motivated and feeling good).

You can also just start by picking up a hobby your friends have (That's why I chose guitar, cooking was my own thing). It's a good motivator, for me at least.

You also start to feel better about yourself, so you become happier, and people notice that. You carry yourself differently.

EDIT 2: I am only suggesting what worked for me, and hopefully it will work for you too.

Terminal-Psychosis · 2014-11-11T17:25:45+00:00

Depression is a very natural thing. When our ancestors came on hard times, they had to conserve energy. We are not allowed this natural response in today's modern age, but the affect is still there.

Recluse mode. Gathering / preserving strength. It use to be about waiting out a drought, or some real-world hardship (which you have recently been through). Mourn your loss, then go get your dick wet. Just be careful to not get attached to just any bitch that will wet your willy.

Do NOT take drugs the doctors want to push on you unless you get seriously suicidal. The very best medicine is healthy eating and working out. You do know how to do these. Harder than taking a pill, but it WILL help.

And yes, as Mr. Autokrator says, read "No More Mr. Nice Guy", and other books of similar knowledge.

Another I can say helped me immensely is "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty". Also, "Pulling Your Own Strings".

Beware, the very simple methods described in these books can be used to use and abuse others just as you have been. Go easy at first till you get the hang. (evil grin) or not...

Most important is live for YOURSELF. Do what makes YOU happy. That's what really works best. Some soul-searching is in order.

Wish ya all the best.

wakethfkupneo · 2014-11-11T19:43:29+00:00

Start reading this guy's blog: http://boldanddetermined.com/

And get his book "30 days of discipline".

Title	How to change the mentality from complacently weak to mentally motivated?
Author	MrWoofles
Upvotes	22
Comments	19
Date	November 11, 2014 7:09 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/becomeaman
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/becomeaman/comments/2ly1ho/how_to_change_the_mentality_from_complacently/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/becomeaman/how-to-change-the-mentality-from-complacently-weak.137498 https://theredarchive.com/post/137498