Where do I start? I feel hopeless

Haufniensis · 2015-02-22T04:46:11+00:00

She's already started dating again?!? I'll be damned! It's almost like she's acting like a female!

Always keep in mind that women act like women. You can expect snakes to bite; likewise, you can expect women to branch swing.

Women have a lot more riding on their relationships than men. You can handle being alone, she can't.

A monkey never lets go of one branch without a firm hold on another.

Best advice I can give is get the fuck over it. You've got other shit to do than think about vagina. Well, you should, anyways.

Fill your time, your mind, and your activities, and do so wisely. You didn't give many specifics, but do well at your job, school, whatever it is you do. Lift, find good hobbies, make money. Pursue your goals. If you don't have goals, make your one and only goal to find a goal, and pursue it.

That girl you were in a relationship with just hammered home the point of AWALT by getting into that relationship. She was probably in it before you guys broke up. That alone should ease the load. She was just like any other girl you could've dated for the last 4 years. She wasn't, and isn't, special. There are too many vaginas in this world to get caught up in one.

Fill your time wisely, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-02-22T08:17:46+00:00

A good place to start that includes a lot of the advice of others is the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Read it, do the activities, and follow its advice as a good way to turn your life around.

ALFMiles · 2015-02-22T09:51:20+00:00

Start taking small positive steps each day. Even when you don't want to, take action. Figure out one or two things that if you do every day will make your life better 6 months from now, and get up early to do those things.

Darkone06 · 2015-03-30T19:51:51+00:00

Get a better wardrobe if possible, get a new haircut. If you have facial hair trim that shit down and make it look nice, dont get rid of it just trim it down and make it look clean .

Get some bad ass workout clothes that makes you both look good and makes you feel confident. While it is good to workout and get some exercise, the results multiply if you look good and confident while working out.

I normally work out in my office clothes and I get a lot more attention than other guys that are way stronger than me but look gross. Due to the nature of my job, I always feel real confident in my office clothes so I normally wear that as much as I can, basicly wear clothes that makes you feel confident and watch the female attention come.

Im a baggy jeans and button down shirt kind of guy. My color scheme is normally black or dark colors. When I workout I just unbotton my shirt and let it rip.

daveofmars · 2015-04-18T18:08:18+00:00

The gym is good in the sense that it gives you some release, an endorphin rush, and a project to work on. Physical attractiveness isn't nearly as important as you think so don't hit the iron with the intent on getting ripped, not when your mental state needs more TLC. A stacked insecure guy is still an insecure guy.

What you need is time. Time to relax, get your thoughts in order. Work on something you enjoy for a while to take your mind off of things.

Internalize the notion that these feelings are temporary and they will pass in time.

TheKetoist · 2015-02-22T02:50:21+00:00

Haufniensis thanks for your advice. AlwaysBulking1 We broke up a bit more than a month ago.

I am 22 and currently in school almost about to graduate. The reason we broke up was due to me prioritizing my work over her and not spending enough time with her. The breakup was mutual. Basically (due to my work), we stopped going on dates frequently and she wanted to get married in the next 2 years. I think both of us were getting tired of each other. We have a shared apartment (me, her and my sister) and that makes the entire thing a lot harder. She is leaving in < 4 weeks which will be good and afterwards, she will move into her own place.

I don't want to put the pussy on a pedestal but I think it will take some time before I am RP and stop doing that. This was my first relationship and I exhibited a lot of beta behaviours during the 4 years and I do not want to do that again. I am kinda short (~ 5' 7") and that has always led me to being anxious in social situations. I know once I build enough muscle and confidence and work on my inner game, it probably won't bother me as much.

I have a lot of work to do ahead !!!

TheKetoist · 2015-02-22T03:20:17+00:00

Haufniensis you are completely right. It's a bit fucked up that I see this as a competition between I and her (who is moving on quicker? who is dating how many people?).

But, I will keep concentrating on MY goals and MY improvement and everything else will eventually fade away. Thanks.

Title	Where do I start? I feel hopeless
Author	TheKetoist
Upvotes	14
Comments	14
Date	February 22, 2015 2:10 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/becomeaman
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/becomeaman/comments/2wpxe4/where_do_i_start_i_feel_hopeless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/becomeaman/where-do-i-start-i-feel-hopeless.137532 https://theredarchive.com/post/137532