Wall of text wall of text

I Ok so back story. Had an LTR. I was bp with rp anger but still quite bp. Had oneitis.. Relationship should never have kept at it for so long but that was my fault n my oneitis and all the forgivenedd n taking shit that comes with. Long story short, she broke my heart in a cruel way (what other way is there?) and I was hurt n down but with time, trp and patrice n bill burr etc, i got better.. Trying to get my shit in order. Another ego boost was that since last year, my ex would text me every few months asking me how i was and asking for forgiveness and begging me to talk to her on the phone for 2 mins. Mind you, she is freshly married to guy who doesnt give a shit about her.. Not in an alpha way either. I was still fresh on my journey so i would text.. But i made sure i never called her or answered her call. She is still blocked on my socials and so are all her friends,so she knows nothing about me. Then all together i started ignoring her texts n mostly forgot about her.

A couple of weeks ago she called from another number n didnt say anything. I hung up after i said hello a few times. She texted me from her number saying it was her n she was sorry but she really wanted to just hear my voice n begged me again to just talk to her.. I said "are we at this again".. She said yr right, sorry.

But since then ive been thinking about her n why she would put herself through such rejection n basically i felt pity... N i was curious.. What does she want from me.

Recently i found out her married life aint going so well n she is staying at her parents for a while. Now i sympathy is doubled.

So i text her say hi.. N she just starts.. (paraphrased)

"please im so sorry, forgive me i hurt you very much n all that. You were good to me n i have changed so much now but my husband doesnt give a shit sbout me. I now feel like im in your shoes when we were together. If only i listened to you n changed even 10% of what I give him, things could have been different. I cant seem to move on without your forgiveness.. Like this is my punishment for whst i did to you.b Please just let me call you, i have one to talk to.

I held frame. Said no calls. Sorry that she had no friend to be the shoulder.. But i was not gonna be it. Chat or im out n told her not to beg cuz its unattractive (a line she used on me when we broke up)

She said 'great, now im a loser with no self respect n friend. But fine ok.. Chat then'

I proceded to give her my newly found wisdom that it was my fault, i let it happen. There were somethings you did wrong but not the things you think you did. I truely did drop the ball on myself n in all honestly we never should have been in a relationship. Our life timing was always off n it was doomed from the get go. But love and lust made us really blind.

Told her how she is looking for a stupid karmic excuse for me to relieve her off her guilt in order to fix her life.. I said fuck that looks around into outer space beeeeeeettcchhh!!

So during the long convo she says stuff like.. Wow reality check, you are right, i did exactly that, thought someone could solve my life etc, i wont ask you for forgiveness, im speechless, im inspired by your words, i wish i could do something for you

As soon as she said that i said "what do you have in mind?" a little teasing around the bush n she said "SIX.. im math hons). I said SEX.. Im orgasm hons. She said.. Thats true you are blush moticon.

More teasing n talk about casual sex followed i kept it serious but humerous. She asked about girlfriend.. I said im not repeating my past mistakes again.. Haha but i get pussy from time to time.. Im all about the casual sex now. More hahas from her.. She said wow you were not like this. N i said 'I realized my mistake'.. She said 'im impressed.. But do you really want to have sex with me? And do you think you can be casual about it with me?

I said im a guy.. Im not gonna say no if its on offer and yeah it wont be casual.. But it would be familiar and fun.. Sex was never our problem"

Sonething something.. I said sounds like yr the one who is not upto it has marriage made you that bored, on your back, lie down n take it gal? She said pretty much.. There is no sex life after marriage, im pretty much sex deprived. I said "dont worry i can fill your deprived heart and deprived holes"

A little later she said " thanks for the offer but i guess Im the one who can cant have casual sex with you".. (i should have said something like you wont know untill you try it).. But i used patrice's line and said.. "thats cool.. Cuz i dont have casual conversations"

Here is where i think i dropped the ball. I shoukd have ended it there and not replied to anything she said.. But the situation got me excited in me jimmies

She said.. But you have inspired me... I said "well arent you gonna thank me for it?" she said "im guessing a simple thank you wont be enough" I said "it can, if yr on your knees and your 'thank you' is followed by 'boss'"

She blushed again... N said "imagine me on my knees. in a fitted shirt with my cleavage open and with my slutty glasses." thank you boss"

I shoukd have taken the hint, let it ago.. But i said.. "i said im a bit hazy with the visual of that.. These are just words.. You need to revive my memory".. At this point i resorted to settling for something.. Just to see how far was she willing to go.. I said "im sure your phone has a camera.. Make it useful"

A little later "im inspired by you so i too dont wanna do anything i dont wanna do. Plus if i send you a pic right now, you wouldnt wanna have casual sex with me later. I wanna keep that as an option for later"

This really irked me.. But i played it cool. Said "hahaha good dont do anythjng you dont want but dont get your hopes up.. Im not your option boy. Besides, this offer is valid for a limited time period only and subject to market risk. (im thinking a week maybe less)

Now i know i dropped the ball by takjng a nother shot.. I gave her the power and she left by being on top. But in general, should i have steered the convo in this direction considering our history? Cuz honestly i cant say that i dont wanna fuck her, now that she is married its even more of a win for me (maybe im mistaken) and im not fucking any one that slutty looking in bed. But maybe i need to let go of that too? What do you think?

Is there anything else i could have done or done differently? If this does escalate in a few days, should i or shouldnt I? N if i do... How should i handle the before and after?