how to be more of a positive person?

NotKevinS · 2015-01-17T09:51:20+00:00

I struggle with this.

You need to keep engaging yourself in activities that give you an urge to keep moving forward.

Here's the catch: I don't think you even need to "love" said activity. You just need to "like it a little".

You're a man.

You need progress to drive yourself forward.

No shortcuts here.

Put in the work.

Possible ideas: exercise, academics, career, musical instrument, writing (creative, technical/informative, poetry), etc.

Elliott Hulse and others have talked about having a vision for oneself, on top of having goals. In terms of exercise, a short term goal can be "10 dead hang pullups", but a vision for yourself can be a "lean, strong, and athletic. I want to have a solid handle on my bodyweight, I want to be able to defend myself, I want to be able to run/swim to safety when needed, etc"

Just something I'm working on myself right now.

tits_out_forTheBoys · 2015-01-17T07:08:07+00:00

Read The Power of NOW

Bippotybop · 2015-01-17T07:11:23+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you. I always look at the negative and just don't have the happiness bubbles fizzing in my brain all the time.

I saw this somewhere and it definitely shows the power of your mind...

Thoughts -> Words -> Actions -> Habits -> Character -> Destiny

It starts with your thoughts. But I can't help but feel like we were conditioned since birth to think a certain way.

Advice of happy thinkers would be helpful. Walk us through the thoughts you hear in you mind throughout the day.

Luckyluke23 · 2015-01-17T10:04:52+00:00

I'm wonder how YOU deal with the negative times / influences in your life.

I stop giving a fuck and have fun with it. Nothing matters you can rebuild your life every year of your life. I am willing to bet that if you had nothing you would be happier. How fucked up is that? So why are you clinging to everything. Let life take it all away, so you can concentrate and focus on what you actually want and fight for it.

how can I remain / be positive for longer

You can't "be" positive you can just have a life that makes you unavoidably positive(live is generated by actions, and you have conscious control over actions, don't let feelings decide actions). You can't be negative if you are free, have a lot of fun experiences and human connections. Have people that love and value you and have control over your fate. You just can't(and I am a nihilist, so it should be very easy to be negative).

and how can I not let things affect me as much?

you let go, you understand that possession and need is infantile, that all you ever have in this world is your free will and your agency(your expression of that will trough action). That is it. Your clothes, the people around you, your status, your whole life is transient, ever-changing(inevitably) so you just set out and carve out a life, moment by moment, with your will in this fluid, unpredictable reality. Not worrying about loss, not fearing change and not regretting actions. You just do the best you can each moment, give 100% and enjoy the ride. That is outcome independence, that is an abundant mindset.

Heartlessmac · 2015-01-17T11:12:18+00:00

If I notice I'm being negative in my thoughts I'll start to think about everything good in my life. Think about every little thing that you like about your life and you'll start to feel immensely better and get back on a positive thought process.

Mine usually goes like: "I go to a decent university. I'm in a good fraternity at said school. Great friends. I like(but also hate) my body. I also have the means to be a great man.

Now, it's obviously not going to be the same for you, but think about every little thing that you like about your life.

This is not an excuse to get complacent though. You still need to improve.

erniesmoove · 2015-01-17T16:34:28+00:00

“Every man carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. From the frustration for not being able to find a job. To the weight of lethargy, from not being able to sleep at night with that new born baby. To the weight of rage, for that bitch that betrayed you, even though you gave her your heart. And worst of all, is the weight of carrying the fact, that you know you’re not living up to the strength that is in you. Not being the strongest version of yourself. All of these resistances accumulates. It grows so heavy that your body feels like it is going to break. So what does a man do when he’s on the brink of destruction? What does a man do when he feels like the weight becomes so unbearable? He learns to lift that shit. He learns to lift it, not because he has something to prove, but because of who he is to become. When you discover that all the challenges in life, are just like the plates you slap on the barbell; your asshole boss, sick baby, broken heart, and that each one of them is designed specifically to strengthen weaknesses in your character. You not only learn to accept these challenges, but you beg for it. Pray, lay your heavy burden on my shoulders, so that I can grow stronger. Bring it on, because I’ll lift that shit, or die trying.” -Elliot Hulse

jcrpta · 2015-01-17T20:17:17+00:00

I wouldn't say you're a negative whiny little bitch.

Whyever not? I don't know you, I've never met you. I have no reason to doubt what you say.

So let me tell you what I see.

I see a man who recognises he has a problem, and rather than hide it away and pretend it doesn't exist, he openly admits to it and asks for help in dealing with it.

Does that sound like the behaviour of a whiny little bitch? Because it doesn't to me. It sounds like the behaviour of a man who is actively trying to get his shit together.

So don't call yourself a whiny little bitch. Yeah, sure, you may have had a problem with that in the past, but you're working to fix it.

Title	how to be more of a positive person?
Author	Luckyluke23
Upvotes	9
Comments	14
Date	January 17, 2015 6:46 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2sppzl/how_to_be_more_of_a_positive_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-be-more-of-a-positive-person.145362 https://theredarchive.com/post/145362