Not that I'm complaining, but it's hard, no matter what people say, not to be hurt when you're a newbie, facing up to the harsh nature of reality. Obviously, there's a girl. I'm a relative newbie to the RP and have only lately incorporated it into my life. So, although my horizons are expanding, there's still a girl.

Or, there was. There isn't any more.

We talk, but I've never orbited. I have no choice but to talk to her, she works somewhere I have to go (unless I want to spend a whole lot more money I don't have). I've never been nice to her, particularly. She's fairly plain and ordinary. But, you probably already know how this went down. We talked in the beginning, we had similar senses of humour, similar tastes in all-sorts and what-not, all those things that a BP guy thinks are sparkly sparks but that women really don't give a flying fuck about. And I developed a oneitis.

Anyway. We're talking a few days back. She says she 'can't put up with talking to me/anybody today'. I tell her to fuck off, basically, and work around coaxing her issues out of her by calling her variations of a stupid bitch (yeah, there's no subtlety, but it works).

Unsurprisingly, the problem, when it comes, is ... 'men'.

Now, I can see she's emotional, so I fancy my chances of getting the whole story out of her.

There's this guy, that she used to know. Turns out they were almost dating, they met through chance and they were in a long-distance thing, with her doing all of the leg-work, until she found out he had a girlfriend. Then she had the self-respect/sense of her reputation/realisation that she was being given the runaround, to get out.

But he's been contacting her ever since.

He's still got a girlfriend.

She's played the game with him. Repelled his advances. Under the guise of not being played again. But she hasn't had a boyfriend in a while, and this guy is, by all accounts, 'hot'. So he keeps pushing, and pushing.

And recently, she caves.

They'd arranged to meet. He lives FUCKING miles away. But of course, she was still going to drive there to see him. At night. Somewhere in the middle of somewhere she has never been before. By driving hours and hours. All the arrangements had been made, on the day she was set to go, she'd got out of work, etcetera.

Then ... he bails. Pulled some shit about there being too much difference between what they want, etc.

Now, bear in mind they were going to meet at a neutral location. Hotel? Bedsit? I dunno. I've got a strong guess of what was going to go down. Now, she's always painted herself as a nice girl. You know, the two-parent, normal, 'I-wouldn't-do-anything-like-that' kinda girl. So I was still a little bit shocked, in spite of myself, that this woman was, in fact, a woman.

First things first in this conversation, I ask about the guy. Obviously, he's good-looking as fuck. Kooky as fuck. Six or seven years older - she once told me she doesn't like older guys. I don't think he's particularly RP, otherwise he wouldn't be chasing girls like her, but I think he's niched enough and handsome enough that he can get girls of a reasonable standard on easy mode, by the description. He's just one of those persistent people who doesn't care enough about women to be invested in their perception of him. Sort of red pill, but not a natural per se (bear in mind this is just my interpretation of how he was described).

But this is where it got interesting for me. I couldn't really understand why she'd done an about turn on what she'd been saying before, so I poked some. Asked about the girlfriend, basically said she DGAF. He's gorgeous, after all.

I then paraphrased that women would rather share an alpha than be monogomous with a loser.

She didn't even nearly deny it.

In fact, she told me straight up that she would have been 'happy with being a bit on the side'.

Fuck, was my mind blown.

Basically, she's a fairly plain girl who thought she was about to fuck a couple of points above her level, and she didn't care a damn about it. Yeah, she probably thought she might be able to change him, and kidnap him into a relationship, but deep down, I got the feeling from the vibe of the conversation that she was just going there with the view to fucking an alpha, no matter what she might say.

And there she was, talking about wanting him strangled, etcetera.

Of course, I knew that any man who inspires such extreme negative emotions in women without, is inspiring the other extreme of emotions within.

I don't blame her, though. I blame me for believing in unicorns. I can't blame the players, or the game, nor can I change them.

I can only change myself.

Not that I'm going to lie. I was fucking angry with myself.

TL;DR - AWALT. I'm angry with myself. Newbies are gonna get hurt, but pain is good.