What would you say when a 21F neighbor asks for a ride?

speed3_freak · 2015-09-23T13:15:40+00:00

If it's not a regular thing then there's some chance she just wanted a ride and there was nothing sinister attached. You are neighbors after all.

Maikumizu · 2015-09-23T13:31:43+00:00

When I bought my house 10 years ago I had a neighbor a few doors down that came over to say "hi" and then asked to use my phone. Seems like several times a week she came down to use my phone and eventually I got tired of it.

Once you put out for free they will come back. It's like feeding the bears at Yellowstone.

Telling her you were going to go on a date wasn't the right thing to say, but it wasn't the worst thing you could have done.

In this case she's been contacting you which shows she interested on some level. If she wasn't she'd just ignore you.

A better thing to say is that you'll do it for 20 bucks. This at least implies you are willing but aren't a push over. Maybe you'll even make 20 bucks.

If she says, "no" then you win and don't have to do anything. If she says, "yes" then you get 20 bucks and she's learned that you don't do stuff for free just because she's got a vagina.

Whether she pays with cash or pays with ass should be entirely up to her and her idea. Don't suggest it. Simply refuse to give her what you want until she pays in cash or offers something else. That's the best way I can think of to convert a favor into a "favor".

Yozki · 2015-09-23T14:03:14+00:00

Honestly I don't think she's interested at all and just legit wanted a ride. Offering to pay for breakfast seemed fair to her.

Surf_Or_Die · 2015-09-23T16:45:44+00:00

You said it yourself, she didn't react well to escalation. Bitch is trying to stay faithful to her man, get the hint. You don't have to be friends but she doesn't owe her pussy to you just because you know each other. Jesus Christ some people take this shit over board.

tino125 · 2015-09-23T16:00:53+00:00

Yikes dude. Cringed hard at the "If I give you a ride, you give me a date."

Not everything is a conflict. Not every girl is trying to use you. The girl offered you breakfast for a ride. She was a neighbor in need of a ride and wanted to compensate you for it. If this was a dude neighbor would you have reacted the same way?

You then tried to get a date, after getting shot down in the past repeatedly and knowing she has a boyfriend (who, given her reaction, you are clearly not capable of prying her from at this time)... that just reeks of desperation.

FrameWalker · 2015-09-23T13:29:02+00:00

Not terrible, definitely tingle inducing. To play Devils advocate, you may have come off as pushy/desperate. The breakfast was likely sufficient compensation. If you would've accepted she could have become a great venue for meeting other 21 year old girls. Th row a party invite her and tell her to bring some girls

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-09-23T14:03:43+00:00

She was offering compensation. Doesn't really smell like she was trying to use you. Doesn't really matter though, shes just a chick.

SexistFlyingPig · 2015-09-23T14:40:12+00:00

You've made it clear what your interest is in her. You aren't going to orbit and hope that by doing her favors she'd grow to like you.

I'd say you did the right thing.

tenjed · 2015-09-23T17:07:50+00:00

She's a neighbor, so I'd have just done it but clearly indicated its a one time favor because she's a neighbor in a jam and she'll owe you one. Basically the exact same response I've have had if she was a dude, assuming she wasn't clearly coming on to you (sounds like she wasn't).

thenarrrowpath · 2015-09-23T23:48:06+00:00

Good step forward, but.......

Dont shit where you eat.

Reddthrown · 2015-09-23T14:06:06+00:00

The test in those situations is always: "if she were a dude, would you do it?".

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-09-23T15:19:09+00:00

Don't know if I woulda said the date thing... But then at my age, I'm prone to say grass, gas, or ass.

You did perfectly. Women are equal to men, she needs to do what a guy would do.

someboringdude · 2015-09-23T16:47:56+00:00

Dude you handled it well. Let her boyfriend give her a ride.

mrprm · 2015-09-23T20:12:10+00:00

Apply the Princess Fiona / Donkey test

TheBeardedMarxist · 2015-09-23T22:44:45+00:00

Go on a date with a 6. Lol

DarkisKnight · 2015-09-23T13:12:58+00:00

You weren't a doormat and you didn't get stuck in her orbit both good strategies. I think where maybe you could have improved is by not asking directly for a date. You engaged the ASD because she has a bf. It seems from her texts that she was showing interest (although could just be trying to use the pussy-pass for validation and getting shit from you) and maybe if you "hang out, totally platonic of course..." and escalated she might have been receptive. Since she's you're neighbor this could backfire because he's right next door and also knows where you live.

likeasomebooody · 2015-09-23T18:23:48+00:00

If your neighbor was a dude would you not give him a ride? I think you guys confuse the difference between common decency and getting used, and that's pretty beta. Op your a jerk in my eyes.

RPmatrix · 2015-09-24T01:25:17+00:00

Hey bro, firstly don't take what I'm saying personally, it's just what it is, and I could be wrong

That said; Mate, IMO she's just becoming aware of her "pussy power" and is flexing that muscle wherever she thinks it might help her in some way, i.e with you it's getting a ride somewhere

Her current experience is probably minimal BUT (I'd bet money) she's well aware she's "boner material" to you and is doing all she can to 'flex that muscle/power' .... on you And every guy she can ... esp with her beta BF (and any other guy she can influence with it!)

What's new? It's Hypergamy 101 and she's "practicing"!

What does TRP say about don't listen to her words, watch her actions?" As you said

She had a crush on me when she was a teenager.

You know this or you've been told this? How long ago was that? How did she show this to you?

Did you ever have a crush on a girl that "wore off" as you grew up?

Yet you still speak to her? This sounds like that, but with the tables turned.

Right now she has a boyfriend but has come over to my house a couple times alone, but that didn't go anywhere.

Why did you think it would? Was it "supposed to?"

She didn't react well to escalation, and attraction wasn't there (the crush had worn off, if it ever was) and so she put me in beta land - -Her frame bro, not yours.

Na bro, you were in her "beta land" long before this event, hence why escalation got nowhere, as there was, (as you say/know) no 'attraction' and 'attraction' is non negotiable! ... esp not with a ride! (Unless it's a Porsche or quick bike, driven well ... as powerful things often create female tingles -- it's part of their programming)

i.e. Women's often say "their bodies "betray them" when they meet a guy they're sexually attracted to" BUT don't particularly "like" ... like a junkie, "they can't help themselves"

Bro, from the first txt that day that girl wanted you to give her a ride in your car, no more, no less AND was offering breakfast as a way to 'clarify the transaction' as nothing sexual

I'd Soft next this one asap, as she sounds kinda crazy!

Never begin with a 'crazy' if you can avoid it -- and you definitely can here.

There are hotter, less dramatic babes out there and you've lost nothing by nexting this one -- take it as an affirmative proof of an increase in your SMV

Your only 'mistake' was to try and 'game' a girl who's 'not playing your game' and you thought becoz she was "in you car" she was also in your 'frame' -- which is not the case.

She was getting what she wanted and was getting it via her tactics --- not the other way around!

The only thing you could've done "better" after agreeing to give her a ride, is to give her the ride once you'd said you would,

IF you had wanted to 'hold the frame' you were in, you should've just dropped her off and made is as NBD as possible, and possibly controlled the conversation to regain some 'frame' coz there was NO "game" but Hers on going on this morning!

She comes and knocks on my door saying she'll buy me breakfast if I give her a ride. I say I already ate but I'll think of something and tell her to grab her stuff and meet me at my truck.

DO you really think she's given ANY thought to what you think you're implying by saying "I say I already ate but I'll think of something"? She certainly hadn't considered you'd say;

I say "Before you get comfortable, if you want a ride we are going on a date".

AT this point she thinks "he's dreaming his beta dreams" and also realizes you're not "under her control" so;

She says "I have a boyfriend!" I shrug with a smirk. She gets out and leaves.

What did you expect? You were "in her frame" from the first call, and your attempt to 'turn the tables on her' backfired because you thought you 'had a chance' with her,, and maybe you do, BUT Not, that morning!

whoops_fap · 2015-09-23T13:14:41+00:00

For me this is too complicated of a situation to even bother with for a 6.5/10, so I'd cut all contact with her.

afroose · 2015-09-23T20:34:44+00:00

If she is interested she is the one offering you services.

My theory is, she kept insisting because she is not used to rejection, when you bargained for a date she probably got validation and she left because that was what she was looking for.

leftajar · 2015-09-24T08:57:06+00:00

Your issue was you gave her the vagina-benefit.

As to how close you two are, the male equivalent would be an acquaintance from years ago who is now your neighbor. Would you give that guy the ride? That's the same calculus you apply to this girl.

Kyrile · 2015-09-24T11:46:38+00:00

I don't think males should ever do anything for any female unless the female is immediately putting out.

WolfenSatyr · 2015-09-23T13:07:01+00:00

You did fine. You nipped her attempts in the bud and made your intentions clear.

I imagine you'll hear from her soon. If you want to plate, back off and reescalate.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-09-23T14:53:36+00:00

She is trying to press your buttons for a hate fuck.

She doesn't want to "go on a date" with you. She wants to get thrown down. We used to call that "cruising for a vaginal bruising."

In today's day and age, I'd make her beg a little bit, just out of general principle. You can't just throw a bitch down in today's social and political climate.

NitzFigs · 2015-09-23T17:29:24+00:00

"Ass grass or cash"

wont_tell_i_refuse · 2015-09-23T17:42:41+00:00

Agree and amplify. "How about a ride on this dick baby"

[deleted] · 2015-09-23T13:01:14+00:00

Yeah you did put her against a wall by offering that bargain once she was in the car, but doesn't matter: you made it clear where you stand. If she's keen she'll come back

mr_one_liner · 2015-09-23T16:35:05+00:00

Buying breakfast for a ride is a legit deal though, right? I mean, it may not be exactly equal value but it allows you to demonstrate that you don't get something for nothing. I'd say that that is fine if you'd do the same thing for a guy.

But yeah, no freebies.

gangstaman9000the2nd · 2015-09-24T01:04:48+00:00

Oh look mr alpha man here not wanting to get used

Title	What would you say when a 21F neighbor asks for a ride?
Author	beachbloke
Upvotes	29
Comments	65
Date	September 23, 2015 12:33 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3m24mj/what_would_you_say_when_a_21f_neighbor_asks_for_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-would-you-say-when-a-21f-neighbor-asks-for-a.154213 https://theredarchive.com/post/154213