Edit: Hug wall of text
I have been reading TRP for about 3 months now. Interestingly, I was a MGTOW prior to finding this sub. I still had a few blue pill beliefs but many of them were shattered. Finding this sub helped me shatter the rest.
Anyways, after about 3 months of reading this sub I decided to introduce it to 2 of my friends who are both in LTRs. They agreed with some of it and disagreed with other parts. I think that is pretty good, considering many people will read this sub and be completely disgusted with everything.
However, as I slowly introduced more concepts to them, it all built up into a big, but civil, argument that both of them had with me last night. One friend, who I will call N, the other, I will call M.
We were talking about this girl that I have been fucking, asking me if I wanted a relationship. I told them I haven't really decided, she hasn't really shown me that she is relationship worthy (we have met about 8 times now for sex, sometimes casual dates. I even spent the night once and we cuddled, lol).
N: That's just the redpill talking. You probably do have feelings for her just don't want to admit it.
Me: Regardless of my feelings, I still am not going to create a relationship until she proves she is worth one. So yes, that is part of the redpill, not letting your feelings make you do stupid shit.
N:You are going to end up as an emotionless person if you keep reading TRP. You have to take your feelings into consideration.
Me: I am not saying not to feel, I am saying not to let your feelings govern your behavior. If this girl does end up being my girlfriend, She is going to know that as soon as she cheats on me its over, and I will be ready fo rit
M:Then you don't trust her. And redpill encourages trustless relationships. You need to be able to just be ina relationship and not expect cheating to happen
Me:What does knowing how to handle a situation have to do with trust? I can trust she won't cheat. I won't go through her things or consistently ask who she is hanging out with. She can do whatever she wants. I am just saying if she does end up cheating, I will leave her. I don't expect it to happen, much like I don't expect to lose my job. But if it happens, I have a plan, and it doesn't involve catering to the boss that fired me nor the girlfriend that cheated on me.
M: If you already have it planned you think about this stuff too much. You can just do what normal people do and be in a relationship without worrying about it all the time.
Me:...
N: Slimplera, if you love someone, really love someone. You CAN'T just "do the rational thing". If you love someone, you do whatever it takes to make it work with them. That's why I disagree with RP. Sure, it works if you want a slew of one night stands and fuck buddies and short term flings. But in a LTR you could end up losing something good because you ignore your emotions. You have to find a balance.
Me: N, if you found out your girlfriend cheated on you, what would you do?
M: attempts to interrupt with some objection he has regarding the question
Me: I asked N, wait your turn.
M: I just wanted to say that its irrelevant to...
Me: My question was directed towards N*. If he has some sort of objection to make he can, but wait until I am done, I am more than willing to ask the same.
M: Wow, calm down dude.
Me: ignores pitiful taunt (I was calm the whole time, he was just butt hurt I shut him up.)
N: Gives a long speech about how he would look at how he feels and how he thinsk about the situation. He would ask himself question like "is there love worth another chance" blah blah blah. There is a lot of different variables, depends on how she cheated and who she cheated with. Literally its like a 15 minute monologue, but his end conclusion was that he would giver her one chance because maybe it was his fault (made me cringe), and if she cheated again THEN he would dump her.
Me: First of all, if she has you convinced it is your fault, she is the one that will be giving you a chance, not the other way around. But assuming this isn't the case, why give her only once chance and then dump her? Why not weigh your feelings again, you still love her after all right? Are you implying that because you are willing to give her a chance that you can "love more'? Does someone who gives their girl 2 chances more capable of love than you? I am missing the part on how all of this makes me emotionless because I have zero tolerance for cheating.
N: Look, I get what you are saying. But you have to give your emotions some leeway. You have to find middle ground between logic and how you feel.
Me: When your emotions and logic are in direct conflict there is no middle ground. The evidence suggests that it is best I leave this girl, but emotionally, I really want to be with her. What's the middle ground?half break up with her?
N: What evidence are you talking about? Are you only looking at reasons to break up with her or did you make a pros and cons list? because if you made a list you should have put how you feel on the pros side. (huge mental facepalm)
M: Yea, your feelings should be apart of the reasoning.
Me: Do you guys understand that even if I do that my feelings are still in direct conflict with what the situation and facts are telling me to do.
N: Yes, but just don't disregard your feelings
Me: I literally have to choose between one. Feelings do not excuse her for what she did nor are they accurate in describing if she is actually worth my time. She cheated for ffs. I mean, in your long rant about giving the girl a chance, you even said that if she CHOSE the other guy, you would fight for her. Because thats what you do when you are in love. Why isn't she the one fighting for you, why is she worth your efforts. Yes you love her, that doesn't mean you are correct in doing so
The conversation was basically both me and N reiterating our points not really finding any way to agree. I couldn't really take M seriously. He just kept throwing accusations about the type of relationship I will end up being in. Where its either I don't trust the girl OR I do and just assume she is always wrong. (How he got that from anything I told him is beyond me, owell.)
The way it ended was when M said this, and it sort of pissed me off, but I want to know what you guys think.
M: Basically, you are just describing a basic risk vs reward scenario. You want to take less risk (by not tolerating cheating) while me and N want to take more risk (by staying with them and risk being hurt again). You are happy when you play it safe and it pays off. But we are even more happy because we get to be with the ones we fell in love with and not have to start over.
My response out of anger was "I definitely take less risk, but if you think I somehow get some mediocre reward in comparison to you guys, you are wrong. I know my feelings, not you guys."
When it came to hook ups, fwb. and picking up girls they were all for the red pill. Once I tried suggesting putting in their relationships they were reeking with the beta stench so much that I almost feel rubbed off of me a little bit.
So what do you guys think, do I need new friends? Jk I know I don't, but still let me know what you think.
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