I think that a lot of us here have had a relationship or two in our lives back when we were BP that ended up opening our eyes to the reality of the RP dynamics of human sexual relationships. A relationship where you get burnt so badly that theres no other option apart from swallowing the pill.. heres my story anyway.

The most serious relationship that I've had was from the age of 17-22 with this girl a year older than me. Let's call her E. E was the first girl that I slepy with and we were monogamous for 3 years then poly for a year with a year break inbetween.

I have some emotional problems, which I'm more on top of now, and it meant that during the time that we were monogamous I behaved in a way that was often bullying or emotionally abusive. Not proud of it, wouldn't do it again but it happened. I treated her like shit, put her down, cheated on her, and generally was an arsehole but the power dynamic was so skewed in my favour that she was completely obsessed with me, and at points when i was losing interest in her she would get more and more overtly sexual to maintain my interest. Like I would be at my computer and she would call my name.. when i would turn around she would be naked with her legs spread on the sofa touching herself and begging me to fuck her. Anyway eventually we split up because we argued all the time and we weren't happy.

After a year apart we werent over eachother at all so we talked about getting back together. Thing is that although I loved her I still wanted to sleep withother girls so I gradually persuaded her to try a poly relationship. At this point the power dynamic did a complete 180. At 22 she was at the absolute peak of her SMV while at 21 I was nowhere near the peak of mine.. With RP knowledge it would have been predictable that I would get burnt badly but I was naive and walked headfirst into it.

As a guy being in an open relationship can lower your SMV in a couple ways; women will see that not only does your gf sleep around and you accept it, you also lose some of your male power as the gatekeeper of a relationship. Technically when you are poly you can have more than 1 gf. In a poly community where everyone is connected in a constellation girls are actually open to that kind of thing. I would theorise in RP terms that its because the entire subculture of the constellation becomes a kind of surrogate beta bucks providing the security, validation and comfort that in a less communistic culture a women will seek out through getting a man to commit. However single girls from outside of such a community simply see that you are already giving your commitment to another girl and the best that they could have would be to share you.. and unless you have extremely high status why should they bother? so a normal chick is only going to want alpha fucks from you or nothing at all... but that takes me back to the point about a 21yo (beta) guy having significantly less SMV than a hot 22yo girl.

I was seeing one other girl J but hadnt slept with her at this point, only oral (we actually did eventually sleep together but only after I eventually broke up with E..J suddenly saw me as available for commitment and a more attractive relationship prospect) while E predictably didnt have any trouble getting quite a few different casual partners. Anyway the power disparity in the relationship had clearly shifted so much in her favour that eventually she felt able to start insisting on her right to sleep with this dude that I knew through MMA that had bullied me in the past to the point of attempting to commit suicide a couple of years earlier. E had even been the one that had found me unconscious kneeling with my neck in my BJJ belt and had saved my life. You might think that she might have some compassion and understanding considering that but her hypergamy had kicked in hardcore at this point and she was ruthless... the hamster was on overdrive telling her that she was entitled to what she wanted. The next two weeks were some of the worst of my life as we fought for hours on a daily basis over whether she should be able to or now. I was so mad at her because she could literally sleep with any other person but she was still torturing me over the prospect of seeing this one particular guy. I had allowed the power dynamic to go so much in her favour that I struggled to even get her to not have sex with my worst enemy. Eventually after 2 weeks of emotionally torturing me with the prospect of getting with this guy she relented, she wanted her AF but wasnt ready to lose her beta LTR yet so she accepted to not sleep with this guy.

However at this point the trauma I suffered in those two weeks had damaged my love and trust for E so much that the relationship just didnt feel the same to me anymore. In fact after 4 years of our sex getting better and better and more orgasmic it actually got shit for the very first time. that was the big wake up call that finally made me realise I had to next her. which I did after a particularly crap lay

About two months later anyway we slept together and had incredible sex but accepted that we could never be in a relationship. She still made a commitment to me that she would always be there for me as a friend... fast forward two days later and shes banging the dude that bullied me and his mate in a threesome. I've never been hurt so badly in my life before I was in so much anguish consistently for the next year or so that I lost touch with sanity completely.. almost every waking moment I was compulsively plotting/fantasising either her, his or my own death. Its taken me more than 2 years and getting under about 10 different girls since to start healing. I'm finally done with the bitter angry phase and moving towards TRP acceptance and happiness.. I laugh sometimes when I think to myself you can't hate the sky for being blue.

Predictable really. lessons learned anyway. ALWAYS maintain frame. Sloots gonna sloot. Do not EVER accept an open relationship with a hot girl who is in her peak SMV years of 18-24 ESPECIALLY if you are younger.. not unless you are a rockstar or something equivalent in terms of social status. Probably once shes in her late twenties and male and female SMV has hit the equal point it would be cool.. in fact if you can get your girl to agree to that once shes nearing the wall if you have game have your shit together and can maintain frame you would be laughing.