I’m 9 years old and at a cottage during the summer. I’m in the washroom and I’m looking into the mirror and wondering how amazing my life will be in the future.

Fast-forward and I’m in the public library writing this post. Things didn’t really turn out as planned.

Angry as fuck. I’m 22, moved in with my Dad and work a part-time job. My only friends are my family. I bring this up because I’ve just started a business that relies on social connections and it’s made me realize how unpopular I am.

You see I’ve always been afraid of making friends that were better than me. By afraid I mean get anxiety when I do these things. (crazy right?)

The anxiety that makes my body think it’s better to be on reddit and look into useless black hat seo shit. Stuff that will never create a lasting legacy, instead of creating and nurturing relationships.

See I want what I don’t have. I want to be a socialite, and I want to be a machiavellian like /u/omlala. So far I’ve tried getting into sales/marketing because I thought that would help be social.

I’m doing the social 30 day challenge and I'm trying to create new connections everyday.

The Redpill is about being realistic with life. I know you need to be great at the social game to really achieve any true success.

Meaning you need to own a room, and have an amazing team. Because the technical always gets fucked (like Woz). These are my assumption please prove me I’m wrong.

I suck at being social. I don’t organize events. I don’t do enough. I don’t enjoy my life. Even though I’m quite privileged. I’m lost in the world.

I thought when I’d graduate I’d be making money and be in a well connected job. Except something else happened that I didn’t expect...

I moved in with my Dad. I work part-time in marketing. I’ve grown a ton and learned a lot. I still have this achilles heel of being anti-social so if you guys have any suggestions I’d love to hear them!

Conclusion:

  • This is a giant self-loathing rant.

  • I’m trying to master the social game a la /u/omlala

  • I’ve tried small talk everyday to a random person, reaching out to a new person everyday

  • I still generally dislike social situations, any suggestions?