My boyfriend talked about a future with another girl

Mortheous_Darkmere · 2020-08-15T12:57:47+00:00

You're a placeholder. Find someone who actually wants to be with you.

AquaSerenityPhoenix · 2020-08-15T14:08:15+00:00

▪Guy pursues girl for a year.

▪Girl doesn't want guy.

▪Guy ends up with you.

▪Girl becomes more interested in guy.

▪Guy starts talking with girl (the one he originally wanted) everyday.

▪Guy talks about future with girl

You know what this means, and you don't need anyone here to tell you... If the roles were reversed what would that mean?

saint-jezebel · 2020-08-15T13:29:17+00:00

Run. You’re a placeholder and the minute he gets the chance, he will dump you.

ClarityByHilarity · 2020-08-15T13:59:08+00:00

You’re not first in this situation and he will drop you for her in a second. Keep in mind she probably doesn’t actually want him, if she gets him she will dump him and then it will be “a huge mistake” and he will come crawling back.

Go find someone who only sees you. You deserve that.

blackandwhitemoth · 2020-08-15T13:18:00+00:00

Future you is gonna look back and be like "how on Earth did I let this loser treat me like this for so long?" The less time you spend on this guy the more time you'll get to spend with the man of your dreams. Cut your losses and leave him immediately. Try to keep it classy and show as little emotion as possible.

Edit: Sorry if this sounded harsh. I can't imagine what you're going through, it must be extremely painful. I just know what it feels like to waste years on someone who isn't worth it. But if you leave now, your future self will thank you.

Maybelowsmv · 2020-08-15T12:55:30+00:00

Dump him asap

SnootyPretzel · 2020-08-15T13:19:45+00:00

I would nope out of that relationship in an instant and take some time to myself( or as they say, go nun mode ) in case the breakup inflicted damage to my self worth( which is very likely in these situations where he chooses the "other girl "). Chin up and follow your gut feelings, and really consider if long term you'd be happy to be with someone who can so nonchalantly maintain close connections with other women and blatantly display romantic feelings for them while you sit in the sideline letting him steer the wheel of your relationship wherever he wants to.

teriyakigirl · 2020-08-15T16:32:22+00:00

You need to leave like yesterday, girly

perkysue · 2020-08-15T12:57:29+00:00

Call him and tell him it’s over. Be polite but firm. No more contact. You’ll be doing the right thing for both of you.

terragutti · 2020-08-15T13:20:03+00:00

Please no. Value yourself more. You need to be someones first choice.

Left-Comment · 2020-08-15T13:59:23+00:00

So youre just warming the place while he waits for her to change her mind...

Im sorry, OP.

Dont waste your time and go find someone who loves you.

TranslatedSky · 2020-08-15T14:15:06+00:00

Yikes. The other comments are correct. He will drop you for her at the drop of the hat. I’ve seen many girls in this position, including sadly my own sibling. It’s nothing to do with you, but with his own wish fulfilment at obtaining what’s unattainable.

It’s hard since it’s been over a year and clearly it’s been building up for a while for you to snoop through his phone. Don’t let a guy make you crazy. Even if you stay, you won’t be happy knowing you are second choice.

xSheo_ · 2020-08-15T16:55:49+00:00

I‘m a guy and from a guy‘s perspective, i could imagine two scenarios: the first one is, you are a placeholder for the girl he really wants, but couldn‘t get before you. But as the girl saw your boyfriend being in a relationship, his status grew higher in her eyes and he became intesting for her. As soon as he gets the chance, he will be gone, so dump him. The second scenario: he sweet-talks her into getting intimate with him, but he has no serious intent with her either. So he basically cheats on you and doesnt care about the other girl as well. Then you should REALLY dump him.

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-08-15T12:46:09+00:00

It means you are not his soul mate and should move on.

_kievstar_ · 2020-08-15T15:59:55+00:00

While you hopefully leave him asap, Think why were you doing this to yourself? How is your self image, and why are you still there?

This can (and should) be a great eye opener and jump to a new, much better future for you 👊❤

just_a_mum · 2020-08-15T18:47:41+00:00

Re read your post and try to imagine one of your friends saying it to you. What would your advice be?

I'm pretty sure your advice would be "you are worth more than second best". This man is settling with you until the girl he is actually in love with snaps her fingers and he will be running. Leave now before he strips all of your dignity.

Majestic_Act · 2020-08-15T19:03:00+00:00

It means it's over. Break up with him.

HorrorMovieShoes1 · 2020-08-15T16:00:39+00:00

Girll if you are wondering what to do ... you need to work on your self esteem!! Dump him! Respect yourself!! Show him what he has missed and never go back to him!!

blueeyedbeauty123 · 2020-08-15T21:29:46+00:00

Your wasting your youth as a place holder. He’s using you for practice until he finds someone he likes.

Jayledd · 2020-08-15T12:48:19+00:00

If you want to give him a chance (big if). I'd steer the conversation in a way that you can find out where he sees himself in the future (without making it directly about the relationship). If the answer isn't one you're happy with, and depending on how long you've been together, has no mention of you. I'd say it means it's time to move on.

But honestly, If he is daydreaming and talking about a life with another woman he is not worth continuing to invest in, you should be with someone who wants a future with you.

IntelligentEmpress · 2020-08-15T17:44:38+00:00

What everyone else here has said: just walk away from him.

HoneybeeSweetPea · 2020-08-15T19:17:44+00:00

You are worth so much more than to keep this guy warm at night while he pines after another girl. Walk away. Don’t look back. Go work on being the best version of yourself and wait for the guy who actually wants you! You are going to look back on this moment one day and be so glad you decided to walk away when you did. I’m sorry though, I know it still hurts right now!

AnarchoNAP · 2020-08-15T21:37:08+00:00

Only interview at places that are hiring. He isn't.

puppyfucking_1998 · 2020-08-16T00:11:46+00:00

Leavvveeeeeeee

persechaos · 2020-08-16T04:22:28+00:00

Leave now maybe you won’t get as much hurt

GunPoint007 · 2020-08-16T05:06:50+00:00

Ohhh god. This stings like lemons being squeezed into my eye sockets. He is a scum bag, he used you. He used you until that girl became available, you need to dumb him. Do not cry. Feel glad it happen as you haven’t made any real future with him, now you can find a real decent man whom wants to have kids and a family.

Mysterious_Reality_9 · 2020-08-16T07:41:03+00:00

bruh if i ever find out that someone is only dating me as a rebound/backup plan, i'm dropping them asap. thats so disrespectful

SouthDakotaCornbread · 2020-08-15T16:32:23+00:00

It's not unreasonable to set boundaries and insist your boyfriend not communicate with his ex.

shitposterkatakuri · 2020-08-15T21:04:20+00:00

Am a dude and these other posters are generally right. He may develop real feelings for you eventually but right now it seems like you're just a temp gf. Don't be a temp gf.

claravoyance · 2020-08-15T22:07:58+00:00

You know the answer

lilastr · 2020-08-18T18:24:09+00:00

Girl, you’re his plan B. Run sis

blackred44 · 2020-08-15T14:31:45+00:00

I have been in this situation once, but I was the "other girl". Our background situation almost exactly like this.

At some point after I was already with someone else, he was with someone else too. We were texting and suddenly he told me that.. "if our relationship now didn't work out, we should be together." I was just chuckle cause I find that.. rather childish and like not-gonna-happen in my scenario. I was already so serious with the guy I was with. Ended up we both never break up, he got married first and me many years later. No regrets ever & I feel like he has lost his feelings completely towards me after he realised that his wishful thinking never gonna happen.

It is only your bf that can answer what does it mean for your relationship together.

Leg_Mcmuffin · 2020-08-15T13:48:17+00:00

How long have you been together?

Title	My boyfriend talked about a future with another girl
Author	drunkdragonfly890
Upvotes	108
Comments	43
Date	August 15, 2020 12:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ia6j9z/my_boyfriend_talked_about_a_future_with_another/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-talked-about-a-future-with-another.164693 https://theredarchive.com/post/164693