I wasn't the best looking, best in shape, nor did I make the effort at school. But I had charm and now at 27 I looked back at certain aspects of my teenage years that shaped me into the blue piller I was for so long.

My school was full of princesses. Of a particular ethnicity. I had no chance with any of them. No matter what I did. Yet every time I'd go away on holiday, I'd pull girls left right and centre. I couldn't work it out. I'd come back to London and be back at school with this confidence, but same shit no luck, no joy etc.

It continued even when i moved schools. Popped my cherry abroad again, came back to virtually no action at all. Hardly ever.

As a kid I didn't know what the hell was going on, London was a pool full of women, so as an 18 year old I started getting into clubs and so on, knowing hardly anything at all. Bags of rejection, virtually no real experience other then holiday pulls and fucks, and essentially no knowledge on game.

This is what made me blue pill, being sucked into bullshit disney and so on throw at you. When you also go to school and live in a city like london where princesses and so on rule the world up to the age of about 21 and you start becoming the man you want to be, it really takes it out of you.

My realization is that no matter what, you have to have these setbacks. You have to be confused. You have to have these rejections, the depression, the hurt. Because it will make you stronger. Deep down, I still have the insecurities of my 15 year old self surrounded by princesses at school judging me, hating me, taking the piss out of me.

But it doesn't stop me banging girls way hotter then they ever were, or getting into shape or being the man they had no idea I ever thought I'd become. London was a tough place to actually get laid for me, yet anywhere on holiday i'd click my fingers and we know about holiday girls. However my persona was who I wanted to be on holiday, and I transferred that feel good confidence to the big smoke. It requires work, so if you are young, and starting to read this, let these shit experiences be your backbone.