This is the first time I have decided to reach out here… I’ve been following for quite a while and have taken some massive steps to improve my life over the year or so that I have been aware of this community. I’ve started lifting and practicing the sidebar and have had results, but I still have a long way to go, obviously.

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible, but I feel like I need to provide some context here because I am struggling to navigate this situation on my own

I moved from a very small town to a relatively large city (500k+ pop) nearly 2 years ago for university (college for you Americans). I knew everyone in my hometown and had abundance and status without realizing it at the time but moving away changed everything…

When I first moved here, things were great! I met a friendship group, I seemed to fit in quite well and got talking to a few girls. Things quickly went downhill though, as I was meant to move into a house with this friendship group, but they chose someone else over me and this led to me eventually being left out of the group entirely. The girls I was talking to at the time realized I was a beta and left pretty quickly.

This resulted in me being completely out of options and of course depression set in. I stopped lifting and drank daily in large amounts… I’ve made huge progress with my alcoholism since this time, but I digress, the first year was a write-off.

Fast forward to now and things have been much better. Got a handle on my problems and got laid for the first time in a year with a girl I thought I was friend-zoned with. Applied the techniques here and it worked… first date lay. But of course, it didn’t last long, I had a case of oneitis and lost attraction because she figured me out and it’s taken me a full week to process and get over.

But regardless of that, my social life is dry… with dating and just general friendships.

I have a deep-rooted scarcity mentality which I’m struggling to shake off. I feel like I’m a catch 22 situation because since I’ve been here, I’ve been dropped by friends as soon as I stop making the effort (All effort is made by me and not reciprocated) and I rarely get laid, so of course I try to keep them around but I realize it’s this exact action of trying hard to keep something is what drives people away!

My top priority right now is to meet more people, but because of COVID-19, I won’t be able to meet people in lectures anymore because they are all online now. I’m moving into a house share with random people which I thought would introduce me to a lot more people but the rooms are empty because of the COVID chaos and there’s only 1 guy in there, who according to the sidebar is the complete opposite of a high-value male…

My question to you guys is this, how does one go from having no options and limited social life, break the cycle and start to actually change things? I know what I need to do, but my options seem limited which is further enforcing this scarcity mentality I seem to be stuck in…

Any advice or perspectives would be highly appreciated. As I said, I am struggling to navigate this on my own and I felt that this was the best place to ask for rational and practical advice.

boldTLDR: Deep-rooted scarcity mentality. Social and dating life suffering as a result. Know what I need to do but options are limited because of circumstances. No idea how to overcome and need advice. Yes, I am lifting.bold