I wanted to write this as a warning as to why you never want to get married without making full damn sure you are the one in control of the relationship.

My friend Lewis (fake name), got married 2 years ago. He is the kind of guy who thinks that being nice, showing his girl kindness, caving in, and all that bullshit will help guys with their marriages, despite the evidence that is literally hitting him in the face. Friday, typical 8-5 workday, finally finishes, and I’m ready for a much needed nap to prepare for the night’s activities. As I arrived home around 5:15, I get a text from Lewis saying he really needs to come over. Things have gone really sour at home. I usher him over knowing that something terrible has happened. His marriage is rocky, at best, but he’s never let it leak to the outside world. In our circle of friends everyone can see it, but it’s a topic better to not touch for a number of reasons.

Lewis shows up around 6, wakes me from my, now short, nap on the couch, and I look up groggily. When I finally sit up, I see his face… fat lip, deep scratch marks on his cheeks and nose, and I notice a deep bite wound on his left arm. This sends my emotions into overdrive. I’m no longer groggy, knowing the gist of what he is about to tell me. I’m livid at this point. His wife attacked him. She poured beer on the carpet, threw the bottle at him, threw a glass cup that shattered around his feet in the kitchen, then straight up assaulted him. She even told him that she would murder him in his sleep! Lewis is distraught. Lewis is in the corporate world; he’s moving up in life. He has a game plan, a future, and a functioning career path, and he still has to deal with this.

I, of course, am curious what caused this. His wife, whom all of our friends call the Prison Warden, is a former heroin addict who works part-time at a tutoring school. Lewis brings in the bacon, he makes the money, and up until this point she has been the one making all the decisions in their life. Lewis had bought some articles of clothing for work, nothing too expensive and well within their budget. Evidently, he never consulted her about this, and, in my opinion, why should he? He brings in 75% or more of the family income while she sits at home and does nothing. He literally goes to work from 8-5 every day, and then he comes home and does dishes and chores! His wife, who sits on her skinny little ass all day and watches murder porn (those angry housewives who killed their husband shows), doesn’t even have the decency to do chores around the house. Note this guys, he is her bitch. She says “Jump!” He says, “How high?” Then I have to sit there and listen to her tell us that she was so nice by “allowing him to play disc golf” with us. I’m not even paraphrasing; she literally thinks this is her relationship to run, and he allows it.

So I had a party to go to, and a possible new plate waiting. I know Lewis won’t screw that up for me, but Lewis is constantly moving between me and texting his wife. I took his phone, pulled out the battery, and kept it with me. He needed to get away, so I take him and we go to the party. We had a great night, he got his mind of off everything and flirted all night with one of the hottest redheads I’ve personally seen. She wanted to bang him (preselection is a bitch), but he wasn’t going to do it. I got laid, and we ended up crashing on couches and futons around the place.

Saturday morning comes, and we return to my house. So at this point his wife has physically assaulted him, he’s held her down while grabbing his keys so he could run, and she’s threatened to murder him in his sleep. You, or I, or anyone that has found this way of life would never return to the house, but he goes back to “mend things up.” He thinks this is fixable, that they can work through this; it’s absolutely befuddling to me that he can think this, because she threatened to kill him. He goes home, and now he’s telling me that things are better, but I know the truth. I fully expect that someday Lewis will come back over, this time with no place to go, because his wife will have kicked him out. I’m not sure I’ll have any sympathy on him at that point. His life is terrible, and he hates it. You take the woman out of the equation, and he’s a good-looking, well off, jovial guy.

This is what happens when you don’t take control of your relationship. This is an example of how deeply engrained this toxic, feministic bullshit is in our society; a man will get assaulted and have his life threatened by his wife, yet he'll return to her. He'll go right back to the place where he is the most unhappy, because that's what he's "supposed to do, right?"