OK. Imagine encountering this...

Thank you donotlink

You meet a girl and she has a "guy bestie"

I drink beer with him. We play video games. I crush him in Mario Kart. We go out on weekends. We fall asleep in the living room watching The Office and we keep track of one another’s best jokes, quotes and misfires.

If opposites attract in relationships, weirdness unites in friends. My bestie and I are bonded for life by iron steel welded from too much cheap beer, shoving matches and one too many misadventures. His stamp of approval is not optional.

Also...

"A woman's best friend has to sign off on all big relationship decisions.” And if my best friend loves ya, our relationship will happily proceed.

And when he's around you have to put up with this nonsense...

Dude besties are really good at acting like big brothers. That means you will be witness to a lot of bizarre face touching and noogies. These horrifying caresses have one purpose: to annoy the shit out of me. Not you.

Oh the hamster...

So in other words she uses her beta orbiter as a relationship wedge when convenient - and thus has a built in narcissist mechanism that allows her to brow beat a new beau into bending to her will, betafying him into something undesirable and dumps him when she gets bored or next alpha guy comes along who gives her tingles.

She starts complaining about beau to bestie... Bestie of course white knights and validates her excuse to dump guy and she dumps guy ready for the new horse to go up and down on riding the cock carousel.

Either way it's head game-rinse-repeat, head game-rinse-repeat, ad infinitum...

Looks like this has been going on for nearly 18 years already (HOLY FUCKING SHIT).

My bestie and I are closing in on about 18 years of friendship.

She even brazenly has this gif on the site.

So what to do when you encounter a (former in this case) pretty little hate machine like this?

Low level plate & quick extraction.

At first you play it off like beta orbiter is a normal thing and you are completely cool and understanding of it. Be very friendly to orbiter dude. Lull her into a false sense of security, then tap it hard - dirty dog that shit and treat her like the whore she is - bust her out and make her head spin. Then dump her ass.

When she whines to you about getting dumped, just chuckle/shrug and say you're just not interested in pursuing a relationship with her.

You're not lying.

She might sweat you for a little bit - and if it's not that much of headache to you - you might be able to spin it into booty call status. Then again a class A narcissist like this is likely to be drama prone and vengeful, so a hit-it-and-quit-it approach is probably best.

I swear, all this sex-positive feminist bullshit is nothing more than an effort to normalize bad behavior. It's like these bitches just want to put their con game on the grand stage so they can fish in white knights and other sex-positive con artists to validate their bullshittery.

I bet you anything that neither this dumb cunt or her dipshit orbiter has had a real honest LTR over the course of the 18 years she's describing. Her narcissistic need for simultaneous alpha pole and beta ass kissing has the both of them locked into a dysfunctional toxic mess that you don't want to get wrapped up in. Shit like this is radioactive. So when you encounter such a situation out in the wild, measure it quick and then pump and dump.

In the grand scheme of things, eventually she'll exhaust her ability to get impaled by alpha cocksmen and she'll settle for the beta stick bundle that's waited patiently for decades. They are two losers meant for each other - all you want out of a mangled disaster of a situation like that is a fuck and chuck if it is convenient - let them be in their own misery.

Store this scenario away in your memory bank bros and develop the coping skill necessary to weed out skanks like this.