How not to get attached?

Tombstone31 · 2014-08-04T19:11:38+00:00

The really sick thing is that I think I enjoy this bipolar turmoil. The highs of the victories and the lows of the defeats make me feel...alive.

You need more exercise and competition in your life. You should be getting those highs from scoring points and winning games. Your lows should come from physical exhaustion and defeat.

Step outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself. Face your fears. Take risks. Play games. Learn a new (difficult) skill.

BetterToBeFeared · 2014-08-04T19:17:26+00:00

People form connections and then romanticize those connections. They then get addicted to the feelings as well as the chemicals that come with those feelings. This is why one of the biggest dating patterns among middle class educated young people in the west is serial monogamy. People enjoy and become addicted to the romance and what comes along with it - they think the connection is deep but it is actually formed on a shallow mix of things like shared interests and attraction. Then something comes up that shatters the illusions and the serial monogamist ends the relationship and moves on to pedestalize and romanticize the next person that shares common interests and attraction.

OP, it doesn't sound like you have reached the above level yet, and you seem self aware so I wouldn't be too worried. When you feel oneitis etc. remind yourself that you feel good because of the chemicals your brain produces when it creates an unrealistic romanticization of the girl. Your brain is seeking the "perfect girl" because that girl will continue to cause it to produce oxytocin, but there are no perfect girls, and you sure as hell don't know if some plate is a unicorn.

You're a man, you can handle these feelings through rationalization.

[deleted] · 2014-08-04T23:20:28+00:00

I'm gonna be blunt here: You seem like you have deeper mental issues than just "falling for women". It could be abandonment issues or over-attachment issues, but it's a sign of not being happy with yourself and needing fulfillment from others.

The thing isn't not to fall for women, the thing is to never stop playing the game. To never get lazy and think "this girl is different than the rest of them."

AlphaXpipubs · 2014-08-04T18:33:08+00:00

This is an easy one - first, keep adding as many plates as possible. Hone your abilities to seduce girls - as many as you can.

As you are adding plates mentally note how many have boyfriends, husbands, fiances, etc. Note how many will sleep with you on a first date, and then tell her girlfriends (right in front of your face) she would never do that.

If you pay attention to most peoples actions (and not what you mentally wish), you will gain self control and won't ever have this "I'm falling in luvs" problem again.

RPstudent · 2014-08-04T18:28:12+00:00

My presumption is that these girls for whom casual interaction won't work likely have at least one and more likely several things in common. In a nutshell, they fall into what society calls "a type".

In understanding what your type is, you can get to the root of why you do not respond rationally to girls who fit your type.

On some level, you are cognizant of the detrimental nature of this kind of oneitis. You seek out more opportunities to prevent yourself from becoming settled into a relationship with these girls.

That alive feeling you mention is similar to the gambler's high. And really to any addiction's reward structure. Combating it involves again recognizing the reward structure, determining what you get out of it and why and then applying the insight and knowledge to avoid repeating the behavior

forgeror · 2014-08-04T20:38:41+00:00

New here. Can't seem to fine the definition of plates. Anybody?

[deleted] · 2014-08-05T04:35:16+00:00

It happens. When you hook up with random women, chances are you might end up liking one more than the others. Then if you continue to hook up with her, chances are those feelings will grow. If you're really hell bent against "falling" for a girl, then you need to stop seeing her.

Tombstone31 · 2014-08-04T22:14:19+00:00

Have you tried sleeping with someone you don't particularly like as a person?

Title	How not to get attached?
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	17
Comments	22
Date	August 4, 2014 6:21 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2clyqu/how_not_to_get_attached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-not-to-get-attached.18895 https://theredarchive.com/post/18895