This book has changed my life in how I deal with people, including kids:

Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

It's a quick read and he gives many examples. It has led to me having far more empathy to those around me. Kids NEED empathy more than anyone. This way of communicating get help you get to understand their needs, and WHY they may behave one way or another, instead of using the "punishment and reward" system that most of us grew up with (and has led to a host of problems including the issues outlined in TRP).

Good luck!