I like watching the couples on those house hunting TV shows.

Last night was a fat betabux accountant and his wife looking at a house to renovate, and the ruggedly handsome contractor holds up some bright patterned backsplash tile. The wife hates it, and when the guy points out that it's basically the same color and pattern as her husband's shirt, she says she hates that too.

The shocked husband turns and says "but you buy my shirts for me!"

I also work with people who readily admit that they wear "whatever shirts my wife picks out at Costco". They're always bright colors like orange or pink and they never fit correctly.

My wife used to help me pick out clothes at the store. She used to buy stuff as gifts that "would look good on me". Looking back years later, there were fundamental problems with almost every piece of clothing I owned.

And just like the accountant in the show, my wife would regularly critique my appearance:

"You should wear more <color>"

"You should wear more <some style>"

"You should wear this hat"

"Your hair should be more <something>"

I NOW SEE THERE WAS NO VALUE IN THESE SUGGESTIONS. THEY WERE FASHION SHIT TESTS. The other night I was looking through old photos and laughing at how I looked. She agreed and joined in the fun. As I realized she was the one who suggested I let my hair grow shaggy and wear that oversized dress shirt I laughed even harder.

A few months into my RP journey I learned how to fix my appearance. I built a new, smaller wardrobe from scratch. I learned how to get my hair cut properly. I read by myself like a big boy and followed basically none of the advice she had bothered me with for years. And all that stopped. She no longer makes any comment about my clothes other than "you look good" and a smile while looking me up and down. She no longer buys me any clothes unless it's something I specifically asked for (still get softball shit tests about how she "can't buy me anything" because my standards are too high).

  • Unless you've got the money, keep your wardrobe small and simple. It's going to cost money to do it right. Do it right. Do not own or wear a piece of clothing that is not flattering and appropriate for the time and place.
  • Find a good tailor and make friends with them; you'll be there a lot. Tailor your long sleeve button downs in the torso and sleeves. Tailor your chinos in the waist and leg. Show the body you're building in the gym.
  • Don't show me your white Hanes undershirt. Gray v-necks are invisible.
  • Consider shirt-stays to keep your dress shirts tucked with clean lines and no "muffin top". The military uses them for a reason.
  • Learn about suit fitting, then find and tailor your suits.
  • Learn how to match ties to shirts.
  • Learn how to tie a tie in a symmetrical knot.
  • Find a brand of t-shirt that fits you well (looks tailored). Don't tailor t-shirts.
  • Same with jeans. Stretch material is great.
  • Once something fits correctly, don't put it in the dryer if it can shrink. Buy a drying rack (they aren't just for weed).
  • Learn which brands fit your upper body best, and which your lower. That's your go-to for each. For example Express dress shirts leave a gap at the back of my neck that looks weird. Banana Republic cuts lay flat against my neck.
  • Study advertising to learn what kinds of clothes should be worn together and how they should be worn. They know what looks good, because they are literally selling it.

This will all take time, effort, and money, but it's worth it. Your clothing is a reflection of you, and you have high standards.