Listen up, Lazy Cunts

There’s a reason why newbs are told to lift:

a). It makes you look more attractive

b). It makes you feel more attractive

c). It focuses your mind

d). Going to the gym gets you out of the house for a few hours a week and stops you lurking around behind your wife trying to Kino her, fog her or whatever the fuck else you’re trying to do with her that she doesn’t want you doing to her.

d). Muscles

e). Abs

f). Testosterone

g). Abs

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There is no Excuse

“But the gym is too far away”

“I don’t want to get too big”

“I’m too old to lift”

“I don’t know anything about lifting”

“I like being skinny”

“I am too weak to get off the sofa”

These were just my exuses. You have your own. You can have as many as you like, but really, there is no excuse.

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My expertise

I am not an expert. I am a newb to the gym. I have been lifting for 6 months. Prior to that, I had never stepped into a gym in my 45 years of life.

I lie – I went once in my twenties. Walked on a treadmill for 15 minutes, then walked straight out of the gym, never to return.

I also had a dead bedroom. That’s what brought me to MRP. I believed that if I applied all the MRP “tricks” minus the weight lifting, I’d be fine and I’d “fix my marriage”. That was the plan.

I’m not saying that lifting solved my problems – frame did. Physical frame and mental frame.

You need to build both.

I’m not going to tell you how to lift, what to eat or what programs to follow. There are people a lot more qualified and experienced than I am. Go to r/fitness. Find a program. Stick with it for 6 months. Eat properly. Dial in your TDEEs, macros etc. Eat protein, hydrate, sleep well. All the information you need is out there.

But I will tell you that you NEED to lift.

Also STFU.

And the sidebar is over there (or at least it used to be).

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Lift, Faggot, Lift

When I started MRP in January, I was told to lift. I ignored this advice. As far as I was concerned, I was in good shape – I was doing HIIT four times a week at home and had just started a Strength and Conditioning course doing all sorts of things like kettelbell swings, lunges, bear crawls, jumping jacks and some barbell work. Crossfit, basically.

I got ribbed by other members here for not lifting, so I posted a shirtless pic to prove how good I looked naked. “This’ll show these cunts”, I thought. The fuckers laid into me. I was told that I looked like member of a concentration camp. That was one of the nicer comments.

Shortly after that, my wife told me that I looked like I had spent the last year on hunger strike.

I took another hard look at myself and realised that I was fooling myself. Yes, I had low body fat, but my ribs were sticking out, my arms were like chicken wings, my legs were like toothpicks and the skin on my arse was starting to look flabby and saggy.

I was a skinny, unhealthy, unnatractive looking motherfucker. I wouldn’t even fuck me, so why would someone else?

And the chances are, that if you are a newb to the forum, then you are equally unnatractive – either a skinny boney, weak ass fucker, or a pudgy, soft, fat ass slob.. or some combination of both (read - fat skinny cunt). Either way, you aren’t getting fucked because - you not only act like shit - but you look like shit too.

Don’t believe me? Think you can get away without lifting weights? Think your cardio, bodyweight exercises and Crossfit is going to cut it?

OK – post a pic in the replies below and we’ll let you know how good you look.

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Time for a change.

In March this year, I joined the gym and started out with SL 5x5.

I’m 6ft 1”, I weighed 163lbs, Body fat around 10%

My lifts were as follows

Bench – 35kg / 75lbs

Squat – 40kg / 85lbs

Deadlift – 60kg / 130lbs

Basically, I was so weak, that I found it difficult to lift the bar off the rack.

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I switched to Candito’s Linear Progression in April and have been running that solidly for the last six months

I now weigh 182lbs, Body fat around 13-15%

My current lifts are as follows

Bench – 85kg / 185lbs

Squat – 120kg / 265lbs

Deadlift – 150kg / 330lbs

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I’v put on 19lb of muscle in 6 months. And I’m not even jacked. Yes, I have some muscle definition, some abs showing – I’ve added 3” to my legs and arms 2” to my chest, lost 2” from my hips.

I know I’m a way off from where I want to be / can be in terms of physique and strength. But I have gone from being an untrained novice with subpar strength to intermediate level in 6 months. And I’m looking pretty good too.

I’m not going to post progress pics and I’m not posting my story to get praise. I am posting to to show that this shit can be done. And should be done.

How? Sheer dedication. Hit the gym 3-4 days a week at the gym, follow the program rigourously. Eat right, sleep right, lift right, lift a lot.

6 months ago, my wife wouldn’t fuck me. I was a repulsive concentration camp victim with bones sticking out. Just yesterday, while I was at the kicthen sink, she grabbed my ass with both her hands and said “mmm, buns of steel”. I lifted her up onto the sink and thanked her for her compliment by fucking her on the kitchen worktop.

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So don’t be a lazy cunt, stop making excuses, get off your fat / skinny arse and start lifting like your life depended on it, because in reality, it probably does.