One year ago I was occasionally pissed about by sex life - once every 4 - 8 weeks. The low point was having a sex talk with my wife was on vacation where I was almost in tears - looking back, I can see she was mostly indifferent to me. I stumbled across MRP when googling sexless marriage. The other turning point was going to my 20 year high school reunion, realizing I was one of the most successful people in my graduating class but still didn't have a good sex life. I found out that all of my friends from school had cheated on their wives - I laughed initially until I thought of my own situation and decided I had nothing to laugh about.

Starting out I weighed 155 pounds and was skinny fat - approx. 20% BF. Starting lifts - BP 95 lbs, OP 75 lbs, DL - 135 lbs, Squat - 115 lbs. Me - 38, wife - 41, 2 kids, 7 and 5. I was playing hockey a couple of times a week, so in decent cardio shape, but no muscle mass. I wore glasses, shaved twice a week, haircuts once every two months, drank a beer a night, baggy clothes, deferred to my wife on everything, made nice with my kids always. Being introverted, I used that as an excuse to be socially isolated at all outings. My initiations with my wife were beyond weak. My diet was ok, but too many carbs, sugar and industrial seed oils. I did not take the reins when registering my kids for sports. The only thing I was doing right was made the move to run my own company 6 years prior and was becoming successful. I always listened to what my wife said and not what she did. Not sure what my starting Testosterone level was, but I am guessing it was extremely low (200 - 250) based on my libido. I masturbated daily to porn.

Early Changes I started at the gym 4x per week, wearing contacts and getting shit done at the acreage. I became more confrontational with my wife, I had never been confrontational with anyone - it came as quite a shock to her and myself. I started shaving every 2nd day, hair cuts every 3rd week and following style on twitter. Bought a wicked pair of aviators - my wife questioned me and I just replied that I liked them. I was reading like a maniac - jumped all over the place on the sidebar...should have started at the start with NMMNG and WISNIFG - came to these later than I should have.

Early Success After a great day of canoeing at the river, the kids were playing at the cabin. My wife and I were hauling stuff to the truck - we were both flirting and I mentioned that I felt like taking her behind the quad right then and there. She laughed and said we would be seen by the kids. A couple of minutes later she was going to jump down from the trailer, I held out my arms instead and she jumped into them - I carried her to the front of the truck and fucked - she told me not to get used to it because it wasn't going to happen again.

Early Rambo Domineering became a problem that lasted early until 9-10 months in. Attempting to make all of the decisions on my own without any input from my 1st officer was a problem. My 1st officer is smart and has good ideas - I would make decisions without even talking to her which would drive her nuts and lead to talks. She would talk and berate me and I would stay too autistic.

Power Struggle The domineering led/contributed to a big power struggle which lasted most of the year. My wife is a doctor, runs her own business and had run the family for the previous 9 years, she wasn't going down without a struggle. We were having more sex - once a week to once every second week, but she was holding sex over me to maintain control and I had covert contracts all over the place for sex.

Sex Moratorium - 5 months in I decided to take a sex moratorium for 3 months for a couple of reasons - stop getting validation from sex, uncover my covert contracts and assist in the power struggle - I also stopped masturbating to porn. Within a couple of days of starting the moratorium, my wife initiated and was the most engaged I can remember in a long time and was extremely deflated when I told her no sex. I found that without sex on the table, I would still flirt with my wife and I generally liked her. I stopped the moratorium after a month since I had discovered my covert contracts and it was having a detrimental effect on my marriage and my wife. My wife told me after, that the one thing she learned from the month off, was that I couldn't live without sex - I laughed, since I knew she was talking about herself - she was struggling to deal with stress without it.

Making Good Decisions Getting closer to the end of the year, I started to realize the difference between domineering and making decisions with input from the 1st officer - even though she doesn't agree. The first is being a tyrant who everyone despises since they are out for themselves. The 2nd took some introspection since my 1st officer had a lot of good ideas. I generally accepted the good ideas she had - but occasionally I would disagree - during those times I would not make a decision right away and go over the problem before making the decision - telling my 1st officer the plan before implementing - not for approval, just to keep her in the loop and to prepare her. She doesn't always agree and can be a little shitty sometimes, but she is starting to trust my judgement and support with less anger.

Parenting Stepping up to the plate in parenting has helped my kids and my marriage. Setting down boundaries and not having the kids at the center of the family has helped everyone.

The one moment that stand out is when my daughter got angry and wouldn't stop yelling at the top of her lungs. I kept escalating to the point of being stern/berating her - she ran to her bed scared and hid. My wife tried to berate me and tell me to apologize since our daughter was scared. I stayed stern with my wife and told her that my daughter should be scared and needed to apologize to me. My daughter did and then snuggled on the couch with me. My wife snuggled up to me later as well. Owning the parenting direction may be the single biggest factor of contentment in my house and marriage.

Style Hired a style coach after fumbling around for the first 8 months. Dialed in my clothes and with muscle from lifting, I look good. One of the big things I have applied is not overdressing - looking good for the occasion. My wife somehow found out about this and how much it cost - looking through email maybe? - when she brings it up I mostly ignore and it has not become an issue.

Social Coached my son's hockey and my daughter's ball team this year. At social events, I approach and talk to people I know, even if it is just a little, and open people all of the time when I am out. I organized a trip to go see JBP talk and then formed a book club after with some men in my area - first book we read was NMMNG. The book club has been a good way to discuss RP concepts with men I know.

Mission Prior to the year beginning, I was progressing in part of my mission but it was mostly a loose concept. I have decided what my 25 year plan looks like and am actively building towards it. Started a second company this year and got a grant from the gov't to build the prototype - currently being built.

After 1 year I had 3 compliments from old friends in the last week about how good I look. My lifts are DL - 1x320, Sq - 5x185 (knee injury is preventing more weight), Strict OP - 5x120 lbs, BP - 1x205. Weigh 165 lbs, 13.4% BFI. Sex 1 - 2x per week. Testosterone was 450 around 3 months ago. Wife is more content and defers to me almost always now - her moods affect me less - not totally where I want to be, but getting better. Kids are more respectful and more independent. I planned our most recent vacation with input from my wife - best vacation for everyone involved to date.

Sex after 1 year Frequency is up to once or twice a week - still getting turned down about 50% of the time. Some of the best sex has happened in the last 3 months - contrary to her numerous protestations, she does like ass play. I have had my first couple of BJs in my 9 year marriage. She is submissive enough out of the bedroom but I have struggled with consistently being the dominant in the bedroom - the times I have been dominant are the best sex we have had and she is gooey soft and pleasant then next morning. I have not totally overcome the mind hurdle of being dominant all of the time in the bedroom.

The best sex we have had in the last couple of months was in a hotel with kids sleeping. I poured the bath without consulting her. She rode me in the tub while I pulled her hair and had a finger in her ass - that may be the most into it I have ever seen her.

Room to Grow I still have a ways to go - my initiations are still too weak, I still listen to my wife's words too much and not her actions. I need to find ways to isolate my wife more when the kids are around. I need to apply more of SGM and dominate my wife more during sex. I need to be more vocal during sex. I need to get my knee fixed (seeing a specialist next week). Once fixed I want to start a martial art. I am good at opening random people but still struggle with opening good looking women in public.

Final Thoughts It took close to a year to realize how much of a long game this is - incremental improvements over time are what wins the race. It takes time to change yourself and even longer to change your mindset. Once you change, everyone else changes in their interactions towards you - hence, worry about yourself - quit trying to change everyone else. You will make mistakes - don't worry about the mistakes - just learn from them. Owning your shit gives you control over your life and what your future holds. I am glad I found MRP - my life including sex life is much more satisfying.