For quite some time I've had this nagging feeling that there is something missing from the AF/BB schema that we use to make sense of the sexual world. I've been trying to put my finger on it for a while now and I always perk up when someone claims they have something to add to the concept (for example: a few weeks ago a poster made a compelling argument that the goal of MRP wasn't to become AF, but rather AB. Definitely had my attention).

It's just that with as many exceptions as we find to the AF/BB rule/schema, I think it's worth exploring what the biggest factors might be that are responsible for those inconsistencies.

Something I've noticed about both men and women is that we have a hard time seeing things from the other person's point of view. We both tend to assume, wrongfully, that what we want in/from the opposite sex, is what the opposite sex wants in/from us.

For example: when men air their frustrations to their friends, or to anyone really, it's kind of like a cry for help. We're admitting that we're stumped somewhat and that we're open to new ideas. Our hope when doing so is that our audience will have had a similar problem in the past and will be able to expose us to either a solution to the problem, or a new way of looking at it that makes it less frustrating for us.

But when women air their frustrations to their friends, or to anyone really, it's not a cry for help, it's a cry for emotional support. They don't want solutions. They don't want a new way of looking at it. They just want to hear that they're not crazy, and that their frustrations and their behaviors are justified. This concept is beautifully illustrated in the popular video "It's not about the nail."(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg)

Another example: we value looks above all else in women, so we tend to think women value the same above all else in us and so we often stress way too much about how we look (TRP and MRP help disavow us of this notion--although with the ever present mantra "lift!" that can get confusing for some), whereas women value confidence, drive, capability, adventurousness, and independence in men so they think men value the same above all else in them, and try too hard to come off accordingly (seriously, if one more girl at a bar tells me how driven and independent she his, or how she's really passionate about traveling, I might shoot myself).

So I have a theory about the AF/BB (or even AB) schema: we still concocted it with the male brain. It's been helpful, but I think it fails to consider a very unique fact about women that we as men would probably never consider because it's so alien to us, and that is HOW IMPORTANT THE OPINIONS OF OTHER WOMEN ARE TO WOMEN.

Now this is touched on lightly when we discuss preselection and social proof and talk about how women crave status, but it's important to remember where that status is derived in the mind of a woman, and that is FROM HER RELATIVE POSITION TO OTHER WOMEN.

Esther Pilar mentions this in The Manipulated Man. That book is on the sidebar of the main sub but it's not on this one for some reason and I'd be curious why because it seems absolutely essential. Perhaps no woman ever has had more self-awareness than Esther Pilar and she speaks as true as any Manosphere icon I've ever read. Personally I would make it required reading here (but I'm still in favor of banning women from posting--sorry, ladies).

Esther talks about how women don't dress up for men, they dress up for other women. That when they have affairs with married men it's usually not because they want the married man's genes or resources but because his wife has somehow or other made them feel inadequate and they want to prove to themselves that they're on the same level with her. That when they get excited about a handsome doctor they're seeing, it's less about the genetics her children would receive or the security his wealth would offer, and more about the envy it will generate with other women than anything else.

Basically, men are just tools that women use in their battle for status with other women (for the record: in my escapades, I never shy away from the fact that I'm married. In fact I harp on it. I talk up my wife to my targets like she's Cleopatra herself. With every sexy pic I show of her and every compliment I pay her my targets seem to get more riled up and more interested in me. I think if I look back I probably got this idea from reading Esther's book).

There's something here though. When we think of a woman's sexual strategy and we talk about AF/BB, what comes to mind? To me, evolution comes to mind. To me I think "A woman wants her children to have the right genes, and a woman needs a man of means to keep them safe and secure throughout their lives" but that really seems to ignore this other factor--a factor that is arguably bigger than both genes and means put together.

We can tell this by the simple fact that there is a growing horde of women who don't even want children. Sure, there's probably still at least some pull there, even with the most ardent feminists, and we could argue "oh well they just haven't met the right guy yet", but when you really look at the rising generation of women, how they put off marriage, how they seem so critical of motherhood, how they just seem to want to travel and fuck and advertise to the world the AMAZING lives they're living via Instagram, etc....don't you think there's something more happening?

Personally, I think we've given women too much credit with AF/BB. We assume their motives are purely biological (and we tend to see biological/natural as good in some way--like how a man naturally wants to protect his wife and children for no other reason than they're his) and that their biological imperatives trump everything else, but they don't. Women these days have gotten a taste of something far more delectable than their biological imperatives. Modern women have tasted ENVY like perhaps no other generation before. ENVY is the drug of this generation and social media is the dealer of that drug.

Women are like crack addicts when it comes to attention (from women) and envy (of women). And when you introduce massive addictions into normal biological schemas things can get weird really fast. Drugs and addictions are notorious for subverting our natural instincts, and for throwing our biological priorities out of wack. People like the feelings that drugs offer so much it can lead them to do all kinds of things that are bad for their health. Some buy drugs rather than food. Some would rather use drugs rather than have sex. Some are too into drugs to pay attention to their kids and make sure they're getting what they need.

I think historically AF/BB might have played a bigger role in a woman's sexual strategy than it does today, but even back then I think this other factor played a bigger role than we're giving it credit for (there was no Instgram when Esther Pilar wrote her book).

This is where I think a lot of confusion within the RP community exists. Why there seems to be so many exceptions to every "rule." Why AF/BB seems to apply perfectly sometimes and not in others. Why young guys who use Tinder on the main sub are 100% convinced that the only thing that matters when it comes to getting laid is how "hawt" they are.

I have a female friend who's been posting a lot of pics on Instagram lately. It's obvious that she's on some kind of world tour. I've seen captions from like 10 different countries in the past 3 weeks. She's 30. Her boyfriend? He's 23. He's arguably out of her league looks-wise. He has no career. She does. But he didn't go with her. Now, this might go back to the beginning of my post, where she is simply making the mistake of thinking that if she shews herself independent and successful and adventurous, that her little boyfriend back at home will be more likely to commit, the way she would be if he had done likewise, but if you check out her closest friends on Instagram you'll see that that's probably not the only thing driving this trip.

From looking at their accounts, her girlfriends appear to have been EVERYWHERE. I think she's just trying to catch up with them to sooth her ego and little else. And it's so important to her that she's even willing to leave her handsome 23 year old bf alone for 3 weeks to fuck anyone he wants (he's much less invested than she is, it's fairly obvious to everyone who knows them).

Anyway, I don't know what I would label this for our purposes here (or if it needs/deserves a label) and I'm not entirely sure how one should think about it relative to the AF/BB schema (AF/BB/E? or A = AF/BB?) but I think we would do well to pay a bit more attention to it as a factor, because I'm convinced it plays a bigger role in all of our lives than the general manosphere literature gives it credit for.