When I first found this place, I thought to myself: "man, you're going to be just like TFA! You'll start OYS, bitches will find you irresistible and your wife is going to fuck you like a pornstar constantly!". Well that never happened. Anyway, here is my take. (Apologies for the length)

HOW I GOT HERE

Growing up, I suffered from serious depression. This was the result of abuse I sustained at 9 years old, at the hands of a boy who was 5 years older. I mean, if people found out, I'd be labeled a homosexual and persecuted for the remainder of my life. This caused a paradigm that lasted until I realized it wasn't my fault.

I dealt with it in predictable fashion. Drugs, alcohol, masterbation and a crippling fear of women. Cause if they found out about my secret, life was over. The irony being all I wanted in life was a girlfriend.

Obviously, depression left untreated turns to suicidal tendencies. Actually came very close on Christmas night when I was 18 with a demerol patch and a 1/5 of vodka. A guy I went to school with killed himself over a bitch shortly after this and I realized you only give your pain to others. The suicidal thoughts left, but the depression remained. So did the drugs and alcohol.

Then my friends set me up with a girl. I finally got a girlfriend. Life was perfect! We fucked daily, my confidence soared and I was on top of the world....until that depression crept it's ugly head again. The results being jealousy, insecurity, her loss of respect for me and ultimately her loss of attraction for me. So began the next 10 years of my life.

Again I resorted to drugs and alcohol. I'm not an addictive person, but it helped me to forget about my shit.

I always wanted kids, so we had some. I became very complacent. I never rocked the boat, she always got what she wanted and berated me for no reason. I became the shell of a man. I developed a paradigm again. Only this time it was I wish she would leave me to free me of this shit, but I'm scared if she leaves I'll never find another girl. A real scarcity mentality.

She finally convinced me to buy a house 2 years back. This was the beginning of my new beginning. The first time I started to be responsible for my actions.

Shortly after we weighed the dog. Stepped on the scale at 270 and thought "fuckin dogs getting heavy". Put the dog down and stepped on again. 200lbs! Looked in the mirror and said "I'm a fat fuck!". This started a crash diet. Lost 36lbs in 4 months. Not the best way to do it, but it's done.

Shortly after I discover MRP and started to implement small changes. Nothing too crazy, simple leadership/shit test stuff. Then after a couple months I feel I'm ready to post. This was one year ago.

WHERE I AM NOW

Body

While I lost my weight preMRP, it wasn't until I started lifting an eating better that it came aroun full circle. I weigh 169 lbs with a 14% bf. My combined lifts are 640lbs. Not impressive, but it seems to be working. Muscle is growing steadily, due to a honed in diet. Not to mention how great I feel physically due to both.

I shower/shave daily, whiten my teeth, cut my nails weekly and always make sure I smell good. Upped my wardrobe completely. While I don't wear Chino khakis, Polo's and leather shoes, my clothes are very form fitting, well kept and my shoes are spotless. I present myself exactly how I want to all the time. If I don't like something, I stop wearing it.

  • Always put your best foot forward

Frame

This was a tough area to overcome. My wife had a tendency of getting under my skin, smelling blood and going in for the kill. Since I've developed a near bullet proof frame, this no longer happens. She can't make me mad and she knows it. She actually loves it, but at the same time she misses her beta. The odd time she catches me with some shit and I slip up a bit, but I see it in real-time and squash it immediately.

  • She can only treat you like shit if you let her

Sex

Not my most successful part of my MAP. Went from once a month duty to 3x a month; probably still duty. While it's not starfish as she rides, sucks and screams, it's not the quantity I'd like. I've came to terms that this is possibly the best it will get with her and threw away the covert contract.

I still like the idea of a side piece. Time will tell if I actually go through with it. Again, it's not a deciding factor of my happiness. I put a lot of thought and effort into trying to spin one. Came real close, could have blown up in my face and in the end, I only wanted it cause I was thirsty. She wasn't worth it. Regardless, if I choose to, I'll own it and have the frame to do so.

A couple weeks back I approached a girl at the grocery store. Hot solid 8. PreMRP, I wouldn't have dreamed of talking to her, nor her me. This time I started to tease her on some of the choices in her shopping cart. She got all giddy and weak in the knees. Couldn't stop laughing or keep eye contact. Not saying she was looking to fuck me, but clearly she loved the attention from a hot guy.

If my relationship tanks, I'll do just fine

  • Don't make sex the mission

Leadership

This is one of my most successful parts of my improvements. My wife defers to my lead constantly. From plans for day trips to ideas about home reno to parenting decisions, she looks to my guidance. Thus absolving her of the responsibility if it goes sour. Sometimes she tries real hard to make a plan on a free day before I can, as if to try to keep some power. I still end up taking charge in the end.

Even the kids have came a long way. They crave that structure. Rooms are getting cleaned more, chores are now a thing and responsibility is becoming a part of their fabric. I struggled to get them to put a toy away a year ago.

This all makes my life easier, having people follow my lead instead of fight me tooth and nail for simple shit.

  • It's not easy driving the ship day in/day out, but knowing that everything is your fault makes life a lot easier

Social Life

Still needs work, but it's came around a lot. Something I now realize is I hate going to a bar on my own. My town is full of the same bar flies at every bar and everyone is looking to cut lines. Not my type of people. I don't mind going with a friend, but not solo.

I've always had a good group of friends to hang with when I need to get out, but it's not exactly being social when you're not meeting new people. I've joined a group that does charitable work. This provides great social opportunities. It gets you out in the community and known as a good person. Plus it's a good way to make contacts and friends.

  • You don't need to bar hop to meet new people

Depression

Funny thing is that after I got healthy and went through a rigorous procedure of self improvement, I'm never depressed. I'm actually happy all the time. Never felt better in my whole life.

  • The power of positive thinking is a real thing

A lot of guys on here have givin me really good advice. A few stand out in particular and I wanna give a shout out to them.

u/persaeus - The man who always makes you feel good when you deserve it and likewise makes you feel like shit when it's due

u/weakandsensitive - While you gave me a lot of real solid in depth breakdowns, the real advice you gave me is being unapologetic for the asshole that I am.

u/firetempered - Kinda like the old uncle that gives out golden nuggets of wisdom.

u/stonepimpletilist. The man who always asks the question you don't want to answer, but the answer is always the answer you need.

Lastly, the mods. Thank you for not only allowing, but actually encouraging a no pity, no bullshit, man the fuck up faggot mentality within this community. That's the corner stone and always should be.

Not really a success story in terms of sexual strategy, but I've came a long way towards becoming the man I want to be. Part of my MAP was to give a full year to bettering myself before I make any decisions on where I go with my life. I now know though, that whatever I do, I have the ability to do it from a position of power.

To those who are regulars, keep on keeping on. To those who are new, Stop being a fuckin pussy. What's the worst she is going to do? Get mad?