So, my wife's friend was going to come over Saturday to pick up my wife, head out to a mall, hang out and be girls.

No problem, have fun, give me a rough idea when you will be home, call me if plans change. See ya.

She showers and gets ready. Looks good. 3pm comes and goes, friend isn't here, apparently she fell asleep. 6pm, still no friend. Wife calls the store they were going to go to, they are out of the thing they wanted to get, so no point in driving out there.

Alright, so friend is scheduled for 8pm now.

I make sure the kids are good and tired, get them ready for bed and have them in bed by 8:30.

Wifes friend arrives at 9. I say hi, be pleasant, excuse myself to my office to "catch up on work" but really just to give them the time alone they wanted to hang out and catch up without having me hanging around.

Anyway, they get to drinking, invite me out, I have a couple of shots and a jello shot, and since they are getting rather tipsy and I am not, I offer to make their next round of drinks and some snacks for them.

While I am making their drinks and snacks the friend starts talking to my wife about chemical peels and microdermabrasion and some sort of needle therapy and all kinds of shit.

My wife says she is interested and here is where I fuck up, I ask her:

sweetheart, you are 35 years old, we have been together for almost 17 years, you have never once cared about moisturizing or anything of that nature in all the time I have known you, and you have near perfect skin, why would you start poking your face now?

She responded that she wasn't really sure, but it would be interesting to see the results, I said fair enough, brought them their drinks and snacks, played a round of Uno with them and excused myself again as they were getting giggly stupid.

I find out from my wife today that her friend refuses to come over here anymore, that I insulted her and that I was abusive to my wife.

She messages my wife on facebook (and my wife showed me the conversation), and says that I said some really hurtful shit and that I don't know what I am talking about.

My wife was confused and asked what's up, the friend repeated what I said but in a different way.

He said something like "Why wait until you're 35 to start taking care of yourself? You should've taken care of yourself all your life. What's the point now?"

Which completely changes the context of what I said. I was complimenting my wife on having great skin, not saying she was a lost cause.

My wife says "he was talking to me, not you".

To which the friend responds,

First of all I'm 34 and I have ALWAYS taken care of myself. Just because I gained a lot of weight over the years does not mean that I have stopped "taking care of myself." And if I want to make some changes to improve my health and appearance that's my choice. Fuck his observations I have a few of mine own but I know how to control my mouth and not say something hurtful to someone I don't even know.

Now, this chick did not win the genetic lottery, and so she tries to make up for it with a shit ton of products and makeup she doesn't know how to use and peels and shit that just leave her face looking red and irritated and shiny as a new phone screen. But I would never say shit to her about it, it isn't my place.

My wife reiterated I was talking to her, not the friend.

And if he was talking to you that's even worse. You're the mother of his children and what he said was so disrespectful. I'm gonna leave it alone though cause I know you guys are going through a lot. It's not my place to complain about your husband. I love you girl and will do whatever I can to help you and your children. I'm done with his ass though. And that's all I have to say about that.

I have hung out with them once, went to dinner with them once, and have maybe spoken 100 words to her. And this weekend was the most I have ever said in her presence. And her interpretation of it was wrong.

So I read this, don't really know what to say to my wife and she just says she didn't think it was mean and apparently this chick is just straight up fucking looney, she ghosted on my wife for like 2 months because she had a mental breakdown. So she isn't gonna say shit to her, which annoys me, defend your spouse ya know, but hey, her choice. I just know not to say shit in front of this woman now.

Let this be a lesson to you folks, your wife's friends hear what they want to hear, no matter what you say. And they will hamster like a motherfucker to make you look bad.

Have fun pointing out the hamstering.