I'm 44, LTR is 33 and we've known each other seven years and have been together 3.5 years. We were both married to other people when this started. I swallowed the pill probably 5 months ago. NMMNG. MMSP. WISNIFG. Black Phillip. Lots of Black Phillip. If you need help with DGAF, he's your master.

Sex stopped four months ago for reasons, some legit, some not. The past week it returned with a vengeance. 5 times in the last week. In an effort to figure out what I did right, here are the biggest contributors IMO.

Testosterone. I can't say it enough. Get this shit tested. I am three weeks into my second round of TRT. I have claw marks on my neck and arm. I have a gigantic bite mark on my chest. She is equally scarred. The last time I had this level of primal sex? The first time on TRT. Confidence is higher. Dick is bigger and harder. DGAF muscle is primed. Last week I fucked her in a hot tub over looking the city. With steam radiating off my body I felt like goddamned Wolverine. Placebo? Maybe except that I spent 9 weeks shooting stuff into my body that I thought was testosterone but turned out not be. Never experienced anything like this on my fake T. I am sexually aggressive now. Before I'd put my (metaphorical) toe in to test the waters and back off at any sign of resistance. Now there might be resistance, but it's token, at best, and I'm too busy turning my girl on to notice.

Righteousness: Black Philip preaches this a lot and it finally clicked. My first wife left me for another guy. Her reason was, "He just takes care of things." So in subsequent relationships I'd take care of things and expect my dick to be worshipped as a result. Covert Contract Ignored, bitterness and resentment full speed ahead. Now I do shit because it needs to be done. It's the same shit I was doing before, just for different reasons... righteous reasons. I went to her place and dish washer was full. I unloaded it. Not to get laid. Not so she'd notice what a great guy I am, but because it needed to be done. I didn't draw attention to it or expect praise. Just saw something that needed to be done and did it.

Fun. I have it. I'm an overthinker. I analyze everything. Who did she look at when she laughed for validation? What are we going to do about ISIS in Syria? I don't burden her with problems. I fix them. I don't tell her about my insecurities. That's unattractive. I don't mope and keep to myself hoping she'll notice and ask me what's wrong so I can victim puke all over her shoes. I smile. I laugh. I tell stories. I'm the kind of guy I would want to spend time with.

Manned the Fuck Up. The two lessons of intergender dynamics I was taught growing up, "If mamma ain't happy ain't nobody happy," and my dad saying, "I'm the boss and your mother gave my permission to say so." Fuck that. I make plans. I choose where we eat dinner. I'm calm and level headed. I don't talk about what I'm going to do. I don't ask permission and I don't applogize. This trickles down to the kids too. Everybody goes along and has fun. If something goes wrong, I own it. It's my fault. It's liberating living life as the one in control, the one who makes things happen, not the one who things happen to. I'm in 100% charge of her finances. I have her debit card. I pay what needs to be paid and budget out the rest as spending money over the pay period. This was at her request.

Plates. I spun em. During this dry spell I went out with four other girls, Tinderellas, and Facebook friends. Had fun flirting my ass off and getting text pictures. Slept with one, made out with another, but in all cases enjoyed OI and could see them as silly little girls playing silly little games. Old me would have played their silly little games until I got laid, but it just didn't seem worthwhile. Again, righteousness. I wasn't entertaining these girls to get back at LTR. I was having fun, crossing things off my bucket list, and doing what I wanted. LTR benefitted.

To LTR's credit she gave me a lot of the direction here that I didn't digest because I was too set in my BP ways. Over the years she'd say things like: It's hot when you let yourself be the man. It drives me crazy when you throw me around like that. You have to say no and stand up to me every now and then.

Tl;Dr Get your testosterone checked. Do things for the right reasons. Be fun.