So, I'm on vacation having a good time with the family. We have some down time at the park, and I wip out my phone to check some email. Current wife is sitting right next to me and I see an email from my ex. We communicate fairly regular for logistical purposes so I'm thinking no big deal. This one was different though. It started with the words "It wasn't time to say goodbye"

My current wife sees and says "WTF". I say "Don't know, but not dealing with it right now" and put my phone away.

I get back to the hotel room and read the rest of it, and basically it was about 5 paragraphs about how she still misses me, and can't say goodbye, I'm still her first love, blah blah, barf. I've been divorced from this woman for almost a decade. She has remarried, and has a kid with her new beau.

Gentlemen, while I was married to this woman I was miserable. We fought all the time and at the end I cheated constantly. One day I literally walked out of the house and never went back. We were in a nasty 2yr court battle for my kids (I won) and countless other awful things that have gone on between us in the years since I've left. Over the last two years, I've really been trying to embrace apathy towards her, and have made an art out of using as few words as possible to communicate with her and only if it's absolutely necessary. Basically, I have not given her any reason to think that I have any affection, or care in the slightest about her, or our past life, and she still felt the need to send me a long ass email about how she still pines for me and whatnot.

So, what's the point: You, Mr. Man are the prize. A few years ago, this email would have surprised me. But now I understand. I'm worth a damn, and so are you. When a woman finds a man who knows his worth, she is his lock stock and barrel (unless hypergamy). That includes being respectful, and sweet and feminine, and putting it in the butt, etc.

This may seem like humble brag, but I completely understand that whatever she wrote was only what she was feeling in that moment, and tomorrow I could just as easily get a hate email. I just wanted to point out that even if you can't see it, her hamster is on that wheel spinning. Do your work and let her hamster spin. When you get there she'll respond. Either she won't be able to see past the old blue and divorce, or she will embrace the red you have become. Win Win for you my friends.