I've gotten some questions recently on how I initiate, and on how I get my wife to engage in the more involved sexual experiences I concoct.

95% of the time, it boils down to this - covertly communicating an explicit expectation.

What do I mean by this? Well, let's review the main ways to communicate the desire for sex:

  • The covert contract. AVOID. The covert contract is the epitome of Beta faggotry. For our purposes, This is where the man performs a non-sexual act with the unstated hope/expectation that the woman will have sex with him as a result. This is why choreplay fails. This is why the Nice Guy^TM who takes the girl to the fancy dinner goes home to masturbate after the date while she gets drilled by Booty-Call Brad. Notice the key here is that the desire to fuck is not stated by the man in any format. There is no communication of the desired outcome.

  • Overt request/demand. Depending on you, the context, and your woman, this can work. This is where you tell her, in plain English, that you want to fuck/be blown right now. It can be hot in the right circumstances (you've got her pretty worked up at dinner and tell her you'll be ravaging her the minute you get home, then pick her up and toss her on the bed the minute you get in the door). Certain women also get a kick out of her man telling her to suck his cock right then and there on the couch during the news.

However, a lot of women don't respond well to that a lot of the time. Mine doesn't (about 5%) - for this to work she's already got to be horny as fuck. I need to put in the work to get her to my desired horniness level, and gentlemen, I love my job. So how do you get her into the full immersive sex experiences like my Coconut Spa, my dirty cop-on-cop handcuff session, or just get her wearing a sexy outfit for a nightcap of debauchery? Here's how:

  • Covertly communicate the explicit expected outcome. Here's how I make sure that the Coconut Spa stays different than a covert contract to give her a massage in exchange for sex. When I set up the experience, I got into character. I told her the benefits of coconut oil (great massage oil and lube) with a wink and smile. I explained that it was a full body massage experience culminating in the internal massage finale and that no one in the Spa was allowed to wear any clothing. I then asked if she wanted a session.

See what I did there? I never told her explicitly that the coconut massage was an excuse to oil her up and fuck her senseless. But through my words, inflection and body language, I made it abundantly clear that's exactly what would be happening. We know women prefer covert communication, and we know this kind of banter is literally foreplay for them. I had no doubt that my wife understood exactly what I meant. So it's up to her to accept or decline, with complete understanding that this was all about sex. Stated differently, this is how you ask her if she wants to fuck without turning her off by using blunt language. I keep the Coconut Spa entirely sexual too. Once she asked for a coconut massage without the sex. My reply "We must insist on maintaining our integrity and commitment to excellence here at the Coconut Spa. We will not perform any less than the full body pleasure experience at

You can do this with literally anything. We don't drink any alcohol during the week (my rule), but the other night she wanted to have some Prosecco with me. My response - "only if you're dressed appropriately". With those words, what I really told her was "I'm not cheating on my cut unless you're wearing something slutty and fucking me properly after". Women aren't stupid - they get it and love this stuff. This is fun. She knew what I meant. Her options were: accept the offer, decline and not drink, or decline and drink alone. She went with option 1, and a good time was had by all. (Note: the very idea of her dressing naughty for me is a turn on for her. My covert communication was foreplay. Her spending an hour in a sexy teddy for the purpose of being pounded like a slut later was a turn on for her. All of this shit is fun for her, and should be fun for you too. And it's not a demand or forced - she can easily decline).

It doesn't even have to be that intricate (though you should be inventing some intricate experiences - you're the man, lead her to the sex you want). It can be as simple as escalating kino and whispering "take off your pants" or "want to go upstairs?" You are initiating sex in a fun way with no room for misinterpretation.

Edit: Here's my newest idea. Steal it if you want: There's a cool secluded spot in a public park overlooking a small river near our town. When the spring arrives, I'll set up a picnic with wifey. Little wine, cheese, all that crap.

It'll be a surprise. When she asks what to wear, I'll tell her dress/skirt. When we get there, I'll pull the picnic stuff out of the trunk. When she figures it out, I'll tell her that if she wants to come with me, she'll take her panties off right there in the parking lot and leave them in the car. If she puts up a fuss I'll stick the basket back in the trunk, pull out a basketball and start walking to the courts. THAT's how you run the picnic sex. I'm covertly telling her that I want her to be a total slut without using blunt language. Her taking off her panties like that is an act of submission, and her walking to the picnic spot pantiless and knowing what's going to happen will be a turn on for her. Or not, in which case I'll work on my 3-pointers.

Remember: Be Fucking Fun!