This is a field report and me laying down my thoughts a few months on after finally turning my marriage around.

After weeks of really bad behaviour by the wife, I told her that she has a few days to fix herself up or I'm filing. She thought I was bluffing. She could not believe the beta she has for so many years has a spine.

This was after many months of solid RP. Slowly phasing out beta me until my wife could not take any more.

The crucial thing was that at this stage stage I was 100% mentally checked out. I was divorced mentally. I had plan Bs lined up. I told my dad and her dad that we're divorcing.

The following days shit really intensified, but I stayed completely aloof. Did not say a word more than necessary.

You've got to make your words count. Never repeat instructions or statements. Never argue. State what you want, AND NEVER BACK DOWN. Do not show an inch of hesitation.

I made her get used to beta argumentative me. It will take a while to fix that.

Roughly one month on I sat her on the table, and served her the papers. The first words she said was "huh, that's fine, good by then".

The following two weeks she spent countless hours talking to friends and laywers and financial advisers and what not. She thought she was making a plan.

But it was predictable. Because I already researched everything and was 100% prepared for the divorce (remember?). Whenever she tried to catch me out I was completely cool.

Her: let's work out finances. We split the house and you go somewhere else. So why don't you go out now?

Me: (I know she can't pay for the mortgage as I make 3x her): I'm not moving anywhere for now, but sure, I'm not attached to it. Go ahead and get some mortgage in your name. Once done, I'm happy for you to buy me out. Here is how much you're going to need: X.

Her: You're despicable, you're bad, you want us to live in the street, and on and on.

Then she tried similar tactics on custody, alimony, moving elsewhere with the kids, you name it.

Everywhere she turns I showed that 1) I was completely cool (AND I WAS, I WASN'T PRETENDING) with the predicated court outcome 2) I was not going to let go of anything I have the right to. Absolutely nothing.

She huffed and puffed and shit tested and screamed. In 4 weeks time she went from this complete raging bitch to then one night, she suddently completely reversed. She cuddled to me in bed and started telling me how it was going to be difficult without me. Then she spent an hour alternating between crying soft tears and recounting the beautiful moments we had in our life - mostly about the moments I was the oak for her (there were some).

I was so tempted to lecture her on redpill dynamics. But I STFU'ed. I let her hamster her way back to me. It was an excercise in self discipline and quite an eye opening experience that finally sealed that redpill theory for me. I just stfu'ed and watched the dark ceiling as she lay there vulnerable as a kitten opening up to me and confessing that "I have so much effect on her".

Then she said "I'm happy for us to stay together". She assumed I was - she was still hoping that she dictated the rules. I did not say anything there. Silence. Beta me would have tried to repeat what I said earlier and my intention and tried to DEER. But now my words count. And my instrcutions and intentions are clear the moment I say them. Silence for a few minutes where her hamster was spinning at the speed of light, she then blurts out, eyes filled with tears, "What do you want, I'll do anything".

Then came my verdict, "I'm going to pause the proceedings. I want a proper marriage. I want a prosperous family. My life has a woman in it. You can be that woman. I'm going to judge you by your actions". She shook her head in agreement. This was her finally entering the acceptance phase of losing ultra beta me.

This was a few months ago. She has been almost 100% sweet since. I say almost because AWALT. She still shit tests and has the occasional flare up. I am still showing her what the new boundaries are. Boundaries that I ignored her crossing them for years. It's gonna take a while still. You can never let your guard down. Deep down she is still in test mode, I'm still judging her actions, the papers are paused, not torn. But I never bring this up any more. I don't need to.

Moral of the story is that things can be turned around, but it's going to take the iron will of stalin, the poker face of a poker championship finalist, and unshaken persistence and belief in yourself.

I discovered more about myself. I finally accepted that I deserve better. That I can get better. That the IOIs I get everywhere actually mean something. Then I can get way better than her. And my actions show that. My outcome independence, my confidence when talking to her or to others in front of her, all of this keeps her in check. I went from years of oneties for her, believing her to be the one, to suddenly fantasizing about boning every other chick that shows IOIs to me.

Was all of that grief worth it? I sometimes wonder. It would have been far easier to just divorce and start over. But it's the damn cute kids. I fixed things for them. And now I'm hopefully teaching them what it means to lead a family. I'm so goddamn proud that I fixed years of social conditioning. There is beaty and pride in sorting out a hell of a mess. As for the wife? she has to still come leaps and bounds for me to keep her long term because I deserve the best, and she knows it.